Hijinks: Intergalactic Adventure Part 2

Panel 1: As D & Crys cross the seemingly barren surface of the planet, they catch a glimpse of movement on a nearby ridge... D: "OMG! Crys, there's an alien up there watchin' us." Crys: "Oh, boy. Let's go kill it."

Panel 2: Close up on D's face, hands pressed to his cheeks. "Hi Nicki, I see you in there, glad to see you. Don't get a lot of visitors anymore... oooh! Got to go. I'll come back to talk when we're done playing."

Panel 3: D: "OK, I'm coming!"

Panel 4: Crys: "Hurry up!"

Panel 5: D climbs the hill carefully, closing in on the alien, he darts behind a pile of rocks.

Panel 6: The "pile of rocks" is a pile of laundry. Crys: "Want to play house now? I do..."

Panel 7: D: "OK; I'll play."

Panel 8: D, a normal looking man, living in an average looking home, in a small town with his average family. D has a dark secret. A second life as an alien hunter.

Panel 9: D's little-boy head on top of a huge muscular man's body. "What do you mean, I wouldn't be a good husband this way? I'd be a totally super alien hunter, right?"

Panel 10: An even bigger man's body, now with no shirt on. "Is this better?"

Panel 11: A normal sized man. "What? No alien endangering our family would be scared of this..."

Panel 12: Now he looks like the Incredible Hulk. "Crys, why can't I just..."

Panel 13: A compromise! A man of normal size who works out a lot. "You like this! I can work with this..."

Inset panel: "BTW, Nicki, never use oil pastels. They're just expensive crayons!"

Panel 14: D and Crys in silhouette holding hands.

Panel 15: Bang bang bang on the door.

Panel 16: D: "Take the children and hide, Crys. The aliens have found our secret lair... I mean HOME."

Panel 17: Three-eyed tentacled alien in a space suit: "Greep! Gorp-gorp!"

Panel 18: Close-up on a gun. D: "Where's my death ray pistol?!?!"

[I regret to inform you that in my infinite artist wisdom I have drawn this page upside down. Forgive me?]

Panel 19: D points the ray gun at the alien. "Kiss yourself goodbye, cootie covered booger being!"

Panel 20: D fires, shooting out yellow light. "DIE!"

Panel 21: D fires repeatedly [BZZZZT] but to his horror the beast absorbs every blast, only to grow more angry.

Panel 22: Close-up of the angry alien's face.

Panel 23: D: *gulp*

Panel 24: Back in reality, Crys is not happy. "Booger Being? Why'd you say that, you mean doody head! For your information, Mr. Pea-brain, Poopy McStinkface, I am your beautiful princess wife... I'm NOT some slimy, cootie covered, ikkie, brainless Booger Being!" D: "Uhht ohh!"

Panel 25: D thought bubble: That beast must have captured Crys and stolen her body. All that screeching has alerted the aliens that shot us down earlier. Her wailing must be some kind of long distance communication.

Panel 26: D jumps down. "Woah! I'm outta here!"

Panel 27: D's mother opens the door to a crying Crys. Crys: "Ms. Marie! D called me a booger and won't be my husband so our babies will have a father." D flees around the corner with a "whish".

Panel 28: At the body snatching beast's distress call, a huge fun sponge appears from an alien ship in deep orbit.

Panel 29: Close up of a yellow eye in green skin.

Panel 30: A reptilian creature with fangs.

Panel 31: With a thundering leap, the monster takes after D as he flees for his life.

Panel 32: D is being chased by the dinosaur. On a cliff above, He-Man and Skeletor are fighting. D: "Help! It's going to nag me and kill me to death."

A word from the creator of Hijinks: Yes, I am aware He-Man has a sword, not an axe. Bite me!

Panel 33: Will D outrun his pursuer, and what the hell is really going on?

Panel 34: He-Man and Skeletor have turned into Beavis and Butthead, still fighting on top of the cliff.

Panel 35: Find out this and more with the next post of Hijinks... [D sticks his tongue out]

Buh-Bye