Ronald W. Clark Jr
January 29, 2013

Just Being Me

Back in 2006-07 I had a woman in my life, who seen me on the Internet and began writing me. She soon began taking care of me financially. And she took care of me like no one ever has. I was able to order $100.00 every week. I had more food in my locker than I could eat. I was living really good. I was very thankful to have her in my life.

It soon started going downhill, in her letters she was lying to me about stuff. At first I tried to explain to her that she didn't have to try to be something that she wasn't. I tried to confront her as nicely as possible. When that failed, I told her "You're just like Josie". That pissed her off, me comparing her to my wife. She said, Don't do it again. I said, Don't lie to me, and don't act like her, and I won't. Most guys in here would have kept their mouth shut, and got the financial support. And I wish I could have. God, do I wish I could have! I mean, I was living good. I was living like a king. But instead of being phony or being a con artist, I had to speak my mind and be me. 'Cause with me the one thing that I wanted, that I demand is for people to keep it real. Don't try to be what you're not. And don't lie to me. I respect the truth.

One day I get a letter from a friend who's a priest, telling me about an article in a magazine. He sends it to me, now I'm pissed. She's got my damn picture in there with cards that I've sent her. The article was filled with lies. Now I probably would have married her in time. I was waiting for a visit. She had just gotten on my visiting list. But she had never visited, but in the article she said she did. The reporter should have verified this crap, before printing it. For some reason nowadays they just print crap without any verification. Well, I snapped on her and told her that she was Josie, another lying nutcase. I feel bad that I handled it like that. But I was mad. And I'm an emotional person. That's just me.

But I gave up all that financial support, because I was unable to bite my tongue and play along in some fantasy land lies. There's been a lot of regret on my behalf. I couldn't have done it any different. I gave up $5,400.00 a year or more. 'Cause she ordered my shoes, clothing etc. I gave up the visits she would have brought for me. Yeah - I gave up a lot. And most guys back here wouldn't have done that. This can all be verified. Any reporter wanting to do a story on this, they can get a copy of the article. Look at my bank account statements and check the FDOC records.

When I ran my first blog, people would only see the sugar coated side of me. I personally felt it was deceptive. I understand death penalty opponents only want to show the good side of us. But if someone writes me, I want them to see the whole picture, not a pretty little false facade. Be real. And that is, we're all humans, we all have flaws, and life isn't always rosy.

I don't mind flaws, I hate lies! I've seen women in the visiting park be lied to... sold false dreams and hope. And that's just not my style.

In 1996, when Brandi took my dad's word over mine, and then tried to put restrictions on me, I couldn't write other women and earn a living writing sex letters, I gave her up. I could have lied to her and said okay. But I choose to be honest, and because of that we parted ways. I'm by no means righteous. There's things I will and will not do. I sold myself with sex letters, and I've done other stuff that I'm not so proud of. But that's life and I can only be who I am. Accept me for me, or don't, but I will be me, and that's all I can do.

In peace + love
Ronnie