Today is Christmas Day and its been one of the worst Christmas's that I have had over the last 10 years. I have spent the last few days crying so much that I feel extremely sick, you know Don, after all these years together and to see you end it like this makes me feel incredibly sad, but I am not going to beg for your love.
In your email that you sent you have caused me more pain than both Colin and Nigel put together, you that broke down all my boundaries and taught me how to love has now done the one thing he promised never to do, you have hurt me so bad.
I am not going to beg you to love me because I know that you have had lots of woman in your life and are probably used to telling them to go, so what's another one,except this one was stupid and gullible because she believed that you loved her and that there was a chance of a life together after all this.
Just remember it was your choice to end what we had, not mine, and how ironic, our friends who played games with our mail have got what they have been trying to do for so long, Don and Ali are no more............
Don, I will sort out your money that I have and will in the next month get it released and sent to your mom, the money that you sent on previous occasions I will pay you back, I just don't have it right now, so in February when I am starting to get better I will work extra hours to start paying you back, it might take me a year or so but you will get every single cent that you lent me.
I hope you know that Jo is hurting just as much, how cruel to send that email that you wrote me to her, why did you do that??? Why bring her into our relationship? Why let her see how you ended this? Is that what a real man does? I don't need a response...........
The Christmas card that I posted you, just tear it up when you get it because it has no meaning any more.
I end this email with a poem that I wrote you as it is easier for me to put things in writing to express my feelings.
Sometimes I wonder what's on your mind. But now I choose not to care. Some words are left unsaid. These unsaid words need to be said. Mistakes can occur. It may have or did already. We both are in pain wondering what's on each other mind. My mind is left blank. Blank because it's missing. It's missing you. You took every part of me. First my heart; my soul; then my mind; now everything. Every part of my body is stolen from you. Not physically but mentally. I don't wish to turn back time, doing that may make me not meet you. It may not let me feel what I have felt. Even though this is a painful acceptance but I'll still always think of you You changed part of me. I thank you for showing me things I haven't known. I thank you for loving me. I thank you for letting me be part of your life. Part of my love will always remain with you. My last farewell and goodbye to you.
I think you'll really like Weezer! Their music is very diverse, from their 90s stuff up to present day. They're an alternative rock type of band. Recently got into them myself. I definitely gotta check out those Christian rock bands you mentioned myself. I think I remember that one song from O Brother, Where Art Thou?, because I saw that movie some time ago. I get what you mean, when you say that "you either get it or you don't". Sometimes people just connect with music, or it just totally flies over their heads. It's a hit-or-miss type of thing. I guess it depends on whether the listener can personally connect with the raw emotion of the singer, you know? Best, Calhoun25
I am sending this to you on this site as I am not sure that you are getting my emails from Les.
I got your mail and I dont know what to say, right now I am in shock!!!!
I have sent this email to Les but just so you know, I have been emailing him twice a week telling him to tell you what has been going on as I have not been well. When it came to your tanks giving Les sent me an email and said not to send any emails that week and the following week!!!
Jo does not like Les and I now believe that he has been holding back some of my emails, but what does it matter, you ended our relationship.
Ok, you want to end this, that's fine then, After 10 years together you ended what we have, you said if we lost the snail things would be ok, nothing would change you knew where to find me.
I haven't emailed you since the 7/12/2013 as I have been busy and sick and Jo has been extremely sick, things have been bad but I kept them from you as I didn't want you to worry.
Don, I love you and always will and as you know my experience with men there will not be another man in my life ever, no one can replace you.
You have hurt me so much but because I love you so much I will let you go but one thing you have to, know, out of the 10years we have been together, I told you one lie as I didnt want you to worry, my hernia is not a hernia, its a malignant tumour which I am due to have removed on the 7th January, just thought you would like to know. Remember, my last email, I told you I have leave in January........
Please can you send me back all the photos of Jo when she was a baby.
You are a remarkable and very special man, I hope you really find the love and happiness you deserve with another woman, I will always love you more!!!
Thakin God for wakin me n my kids n family n friends up this mornin n we miss u alot lil cuz we always think bout u alot Cuz u will always be n our pray n our heart n we always talk bout How good u will need n to be a good father to ur daughter lil Cuz we love u with all our heart
Dominique Ford love always n keep ur head up for us n we will never forget u we will always remember u lil Cuz
I thought that the email I sent last night would be my last one to you ever but after giving your email some thought, damn well will not give up on you.
You are my man, and you seem to think that after 10 years together you can just walk away especially after you told me that I am stuck with you for ever and you will always be mine and then out of the blue, you end what we have after 10 years????
You even promised that if we lost the snail, you would know where to find me, really???
Don, I will fight for you as you are mine, today was one of the worst days in my entire life, I never went to work and have literally spent the whole day crying, I just took 6 napacod to calm me down and no doubt I will eventually fall asleep, but that's my problem, not yours............
Don, we planned a life together and I will not give up on you, I have been faithful to you, but you want to end this by saying its lack of snail or communication between us, but it works both ways. Yes, I don't respond to all your emails as soon as you send them, but I also go weeks without an email from you. What about snail?? Jo sends every month to you but you don't respond,as to me, when did you last write, because the last snail was so long ago I cant even remember........................
So, I then thought you must have met some one else, so have you?? I ask because I know you don't cheat and the only way you will move on is without baggage, so have you met another woman??
I called the prison today, four times in fact, to ask for the chaplain, but they did not understand me, then half an hour ago someone understood me and said he is not there.
Don, I love you and will not walk away from you, I promised your gran that I would always be with you by your side, so why are you walking away from me?
Don, has the last 10 year's between us been a lie? You sure as hell have given me a Christmas to remember!!!! You promised that you would never ever hut me and now you say I am cruel??
Ok, I am not going to beg for you to love me, so if you have thought this over and want it finished, so be it, but I dont want this finished, do you?
I tried to call your mom but her number just rings.
Don, tell me, in your heart do you really want this over?
I am putting this email on your blog as well, just to make sure you get it, because even after all the snail problems we have managed to overcome this.
I guess I really do love you MORE because I am the one running around trying to save what we have built up together.
I miss you n ur daughter do too. She knows you love her and she waiting for you..You right every body is human n make mistakes. A Lesson learned is a blessin earned..KEEP YO HEAD UP..Dnt Feel Bad That No One Is In Ur Corner Its Like That Out Here Too. Everi Men Is Out For They Self In Its Crazy...Love
Yes, I believe a child should have an relation with a parent that's incarcerated... I mean why not?... being incarcerated don't take a parents knowledge and advice away that might can help their child/children jump hurdles and dodge curve balls thats sure to come their way in life... I don't believe in shielding a child from the truth if their old enough to understand... I mean that's part of growing and helping them understand life and this world... Which you mentioned in one of your other post ... you didn't have growing up... I have read all you post and love them especially Remember Me... Great work Love Niecey :)
RSS
Today is Christmas Day and its been one of the worst Christmas's that I have had over the last 10 years. I have spent the last few days crying so much that I feel extremely sick, you know Don, after all these years together and to see you end it like this makes me feel incredibly sad, but I am not going to beg for your love.
In your email that you sent you have caused me more pain than both Colin and Nigel put together, you that broke down all my boundaries and taught me how to love has now done the one thing he promised never to do, you have hurt me so bad.
I am not going to beg you to love me because I know that you have had lots of woman in your life and are probably used to telling them to go, so what's another one,except this one was stupid and gullible because she believed that you loved her and that there was a chance of a life together after all this.
Just remember it was your choice to end what we had, not mine, and how ironic, our friends who played games with our mail have got what they have been trying to do for so long, Don and Ali are no more............
Don, I will sort out your money that I have and will in the next month get it released and sent to your mom, the money that you sent on previous occasions I will pay you back, I just don't have it right now, so in February when I am starting to get better I will work extra hours to start paying you back, it might take me a year or so but you will get every single cent that you lent me.
I hope you know that Jo is hurting just as much, how cruel to send that email that you wrote me to her, why did you do that??? Why bring her into our relationship? Why let her see how you ended this? Is that what a real man does? I don't need a response...........
The Christmas card that I posted you, just tear it up when you get it because it has no meaning any more.
I end this email with a poem that I wrote you as it is easier for me to put things in writing to express my feelings.
Sometimes I wonder what's on your mind.
But now I choose not to care.
Some words are left unsaid.
These unsaid words need to be said.
Mistakes can occur.
It may have or did already.
We both are in pain wondering what's on each other mind.
My mind is left blank.
Blank because it's missing.
It's missing you.
You took every part of me.
First my heart; my soul; then my mind;
now everything.
Every part of my body is stolen from you.
Not physically but mentally.
I don't wish to turn back time,
doing that may make me not meet you.
It may not let me feel what I have felt.
Even though this is a painful acceptance
but I'll still always think of you
You changed part of me.
I thank you for showing me things I haven't known.
I thank you for loving me.
I thank you for letting me be part of your life.
Part of my love will always remain with you.
My last farewell and goodbye to you.
Goodbye, my love
My special man whom
I loved more
Alexandra
25/12/2013
Hi there Daniel,
I have written snail to you so please look out or it.
Just wanted to wish you a happy Christmas for today and to let you know that I was thinking of you and all my pen pals that write as well.
Take care and look out for snail.
Alexandra
Best,
Calhoun25
I am sending this to you on this site as I am not sure that you are getting my emails from Les.
I got your mail and I dont know what to say, right now I am in shock!!!!
I have sent this email to Les but just so you know, I have been emailing him twice a week telling him to tell you what has been going on as I have not been well. When it came to your tanks giving Les sent me an email and said not to send any emails that week and the following week!!!
Jo does not like Les and I now believe that he has been holding back some of my emails, but what does it matter, you ended our relationship.
Ok, you want to end this, that's fine then, After 10 years together you ended what we have, you said if we lost the snail things would be ok, nothing would change you knew where to find me.
I haven't emailed you since the 7/12/2013 as I have been busy and sick and Jo has been extremely sick, things have been bad but I kept them from you as I didn't want you to worry.
Don, I love you and always will and as you know my experience with men there will not be another man in my life ever, no one can replace you.
You have hurt me so much but because I love you so much I will let you go but one thing you have to, know, out of the 10years we have been together, I told you one lie as I didnt want you to worry, my hernia is not a hernia, its a malignant tumour which I am due to have removed on the 7th January, just thought you would like to know. Remember, my last email, I told you I have leave in January........
Please can you send me back all the photos of Jo when she was a baby.
You are a remarkable and very special man, I hope you really find the love and happiness you deserve with another woman, I will always love you more!!!
You will always be my one true love.
I love you
Alexandra
Dominique Ford love always n keep ur head up for us n we will never forget u we will always remember u lil Cuz
I thought that the email I sent last night would be my last one to you ever but after giving your email some thought, damn well will not give up on you.
You are my man, and you seem to think that after 10 years together you can just walk away especially after you told me that I am stuck with you for ever and you will always be mine and then out of the blue, you end what we have after 10 years????
You even promised that if we lost the snail, you would know where to find me, really???
Don, I will fight for you as you are mine, today was one of the worst days in my entire life, I never went to work and have literally spent the whole day crying, I just took 6 napacod to calm me down and no doubt I will eventually fall asleep, but that's my problem, not yours............
Don, we planned a life together and I will not give up on you, I have been faithful to you, but you want to end this by saying its lack of snail or communication between us, but it works both ways. Yes, I don't respond to all your emails as soon as you send them, but I also go weeks without an email from you. What about snail?? Jo sends every month to you but you don't respond,as to me, when did you last write, because the last snail was so long ago I cant even remember........................
So, I then thought you must have met some one else, so have you?? I ask because I know you don't cheat and the only way you will move on is without baggage, so have you met another woman??
I called the prison today, four times in fact, to ask for the chaplain, but they did not understand me, then half an hour ago someone understood me and said he is not there.
Don, I love you and will not walk away from you, I promised your gran that I would always be with you by your side, so why are you walking away from me?
Don, has the last 10 year's between us been a lie? You sure as hell have given me a Christmas to remember!!!! You promised that you would never ever hut me and now you say I am cruel??
Ok, I am not going to beg for you to love me, so if you have thought this over and want it finished, so be it, but I dont want this finished, do you?
I tried to call your mom but her number just rings.
Don, tell me, in your heart do you really want this over?
I am putting this email on your blog as well, just to make sure you get it, because even after all the snail problems we have managed to overcome this.
I guess I really do love you MORE because I am the one running around trying to save what we have built up together.
I love you unconditionally
Alexandra
xoxoxo
I miss you n ur daughter do too. She knows you love her and she waiting for you..You right every body is human n make mistakes. A Lesson learned is a blessin earned..KEEP YO HEAD UP..Dnt Feel Bad That No One Is In Ur Corner Its Like That Out Here Too. Everi Men Is Out For They Self In Its Crazy...Love
Sincerely moemoe - Jackie
Love Niecey :)