Feb. 24, 2013
by Amber Halling



What do you think about when you hear federal prison? Do you think about swimming pools and high ranking CEOs doing a little time for mismanaging funds? Do you see the young girl who at 18-19 got caught up in something bigger than her? Someone who caught a case with the 1 person who was supposed to protect her. Well I know that when I think about federal prison I think of my number - 08888-046 and my last name Halling because that's all I am. I will never be a person for the next 21 years I will be this name and number and this place for 21 years will never let me forget that. When we get released we're supposed to go from this name and number to being people again. They tell the tax payers oh we rehabilitate them, they do class, we teach them to be better than they were. Really what classes do you give me? 8wks for 1 hour 1 time a week I go to anger management? and for 12 wks for 1 hour 1 time a week I do stress management where we don't talk about why we're here or what led us to commit the crime we committed. Those 2 class to me do not mean that I'm rehabilitated. My friend just left after 7 years. I watched her pick up her release clothes and walk out the door. She did these 2 classes stress and anger management. Does that mean she's rehabilitated? One thing that really sits with me was something she said before she left. Her case manager said they really don't know what happens to us after we leave? What? Most who leave are going to a halfway house so we still are just a name and number. They just opened the gate and said sink or swim but if you sink then it's your fault cuz we rehabilitated you with those 2 classes but if you swim they a pat on our backs. How can they approve any halfway house without really knowing how they are treating the name and numbers.

I am 27 years old and am a name and a number Halling 08888-046. I know that I have no rights. I am degraded every day by the "officers" who take this job to keep us safe. Yes we committed a crime, yes we are paying society back for our harm but does that mean they have the right to call me names or make rude comments to me because I am a name and a number?

Well this name and number wants to make it out there really wants to go back to being a person. Well 2024 can't come soon enough when I can be Amber Halling the person not Inmate Halling 08888-046 E Unit F.C.I. Dublin


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