"Friends + Forgiveness" Feb. 8th, 2013

I know it's been a while since I last sent anything to my post. But as my last post mentioned, this place (O.S.R.) I'm at now; is worse than it was before + not to my surprise, hasn't + won't change anytime soon.

But, my life has changed a little as of late; because of past loves, friends and high school acquaintances coming back into my life.

You know, these past 27 years have been a somewhat hard journey for me. One, because of why I'm in here, + two: of what all I've lost. But the hardest part of doing this time, is asking for forgiveness. The past few friends or acquaintances I've come across, was very hard to talk to. I didn't know how they would perceive me + my past. So far, the past friends I've actually talked with; haven't held anything against me. A couple of friends even thought I had passed away about 15 years ago. :(

One lady, or girl at the time (1980s) talked to me a little bit + said that if I did what was said, then I was scum. And if it wasn't true, then she'd listen + come to her own conclusion. That really woke me up, because it's no telling what was said about me + how people actually took the news + what they thought of me. So, to (Sherrie), thanks for the reality check.

Mainly this blog post is just a short note to all who knew me in my past + know me now: "If for any reason I hurt you or let you down. I do hope you can find it in your heart to forgive me of my stubbornness + stupid past. I hope one day to get to know ALL of my past friends + acquaintances all over again + wish the best to you all."

So, if this is anything but an apology to all I've hurt or let down in my life, then so be it. As I've learned the hard way lately, forgiveness doesn't come easy in any form. Forgiveness in anyone's life is never too late. So - reach out + get forgiven or forgive another; it won't hurt you.

If I could, I'd like to thank Mom, Mike, Jeff, Mark, Danny, Teresa, Sherrie and my daughter Lisa Marie, for letting me know there's still hope.

Thank you.