Daily Journal
March 1 -, 2013

Friday March 1, 2013 7:59am: Just finished with comments to Nicki, Schneehase and Collargreens. I've been up since 4am. I feel a bit better this morning, although I really didn't want to get out of bed. I'm fixing to write my mom. I got a letter from her last night telling me about Sherry's last days. Very sad letter. I'm not sure what all I will do today. Right now I'm going to have a cup of coffee and write Mom.
11:18am: I stopped and watched a movie. It wasn't worth watching. I did finish a letter to my mom. I still need to write Anne and a few other people. I've got to write to a couple of organizations. I need to finish up a drawing I started a week and a half ago. Well, here comes lunch. Although it's nothing to write about.
2:35pm: Was just sitting here working on a piece of stationery. A white tiger. It's coming out really nice. My classification officer just came by. I thanked her for her encouraging words that she put in her response to my request that I received the other night. I'm last tonight on showers. Which means I can't go to sleep early.
3:44pm: MP3-man just picked up my player. I only have 5 songs coming. I've been working on this new stationery for my daily journal. I've got a headache from working on it. Now I'm going to lay back and relax.
4:25pm: Just got bad news, a death warrant was just signed. They signed Larry Mann. I've known him for 22 years. This is - damn! Dealing with this shit is so damn rough. These stupid idiots down the hall, all they want to talk about is football. A man got his warrant signed, and going to die and all they care about is football. Larry is the one that got me to doing artwork in 1991. Damn, I hate that they're fixing to kill Larry.

Saturday March 2, 2013 10:46am: I got up at 4:30 but didn't get doing until after 7am. I've written two letters and been working on some stationery. I still need to write my dad, Anne and one or two cards. I'm still sick over Governor Scott signing Larry's warrant. I got a feeling there's going to be a lot more warrants signed because of the pressure from the Florida Legislature. And Scott is going to be running against Charlie Crist and I think Scott will want a better record. Larry had been on the row for 32 years. I was 12 years old when he got here. I was living in Tulsa, Oklahoma at that time. Well, I'm going to go work on this stationery some more.
1:59pm: Been passing the day doing art. I have a white tiger for my new stationery. I think I'm fixing to lay down, get under the covers and call it a day. There's nothing on T.V. I'm just tired and don't feel like doing anything, so I'm going to lay down.

Sunday March 3, 2013 6:26am: Still feeling like crap. I really don't like this. I stayed in bed from 2pm yesterday until just a few minutes ago. I just wrote a short letter to Anne. I'm fixing to get back in bed. The Prozac isn't doing its job so to hell with the day.

Monday March 4, 2013 5:54am: I'm up. That's about all that can be said. Yesterday, I didn't do anything. I stayed in bed all day. That's what I'd like to do right now, just get back in bed and say screw today. But it's Monday and the beds have to be made at 8am till 5pm, so I'm kind of forced to stay up. Not sure what I will do. It's 30 degrees outside. We still don't have heat in here, so it's cold, really cold in here! I've got a bit of a sore throat. Well, I'm going to have a cup of coffee and then take it from there.
9:10am: Well, they are working on the heater. Let's see if they can fix it. I just wrote a card. I've got one more that I need to write. Not sure what else I'm going to do. I'm really just sitting here listening to music, passing time.
10:35am: They got the heat fixed. It's already warming up. I had to come out of this sweatshirt. I've just been walking back and forth trying to stay warm. I like cold weather, I don't care for the heat. You can only do so much to cool down in here.
1:34pm: The guys are on the rec yard. Sure wish I was out there. I'm writing the Lt. about it. If that doesn't work then I'm going to go back to filing grievances.
4:32pm: Just finished eating, it was nasty. Now just waiting on the shower. After which I'm going to sleep. I didn't even stay up last night to watch The Amazing Race.

Tuesday March 5, 2013 10:21am: I just got back from seeing the doctor for the Prozac. I've got to see them again in 2 weeks. I hate that. Also heard Larry Mann is scheduled to be killed on April 10. Heard also that Randy Jones is off of heightened security and he was just put on it in July or August. That pisses me off. Which is making me think about going back to filing grievances. This is just more bullshit. I've been up since 3:30. I watched some news, wrote a letter to a new penpal that I got from an organization over in England that's for death row inmates. I've got one other letter that I need to write. Not sure what else I'll do. Right now I'm going to get back to this letter.
2:26pm: I just finished up a letter. I'm just trying to pass time. 5:30pm I'm getting in bed and calling it a day.
4:28pm: I'm so pissed off! They brought dinner and it wasn't edible. The processed meat wasn't cooked and stunk like a dead animal. The potatoes were raw for the potato salad. Just a damn shame that they can't take the time to cook and prepare the food the way it should be. I'm ready to call it a day and put this day behind me. This has just been a bad day.
4:44pm: Canteen just came on the wing. I don't have anything coming. I didn't have any money. Which really sucks. Oh well. At least the other guys get theirs.

Wednesday March 6, 2013 5:22am: They served breakfast. I have mine heating in the sink. I am not doing well at all. I woke up a lot last night and would just lay there thinking about suicide. This crap is getting out of hand. I've got to get it under control. I'm not sure what I'm going to do today. I just need to keep busy.
10:08am: I'm feeling a bit better. I just got to find a way to stay out of this slump. I can't keep doing this. I cut the Prozac off several days ago. I just started it back at 20mg. I'm going to see if that will work. The psychologist came by a few minutes ago. I spoke with him. Then Brother Dale came through. He's a Roman Catholic volunteer chaplain. He's a good guy. I spoke with him. I've just been sitting here writing a couple of letters, one to Dina, one to Anne. I'm also sending out a couple of cards. Just to organizations trying to find some people to write. Our regular sgt. isn't here. I'm not risking going to the law library. Not with this sgt on. I was supposed to go this afternoon. Well, I'm going to do some walking and listen to music.
2:13pm: I haven't been doing anything. Just laying around. I'll be glad when today is over and I can go to sleep. We got showers tonight, and it's front to back so I'm last. I therefore will not get my shower until 8pm or after, so I can't go to sleep early. Survivor is on tonight. I'll stay up and watch that. Right now I'm going to lay back down.
4:20pm: Just finished eating. We had hot dogs. I did some walking for about 45 minutes. I thought about exercising but it never went any further. I'm watching Ellen now. Then I'm going to watch the news. Can't wait to go to sleep. Best part of the day.

Thursday March 7, 2013 7:23am: I'm feeling a bit better this morning. I've been up this morning replying to comments that I received off the blog last night. I cleaned the cell up. I only got one other letter in last night, a pastoral letter. I don't think they want to write anymore. That's usually the case. After about 3 letters they give up and see me as a lost cause. I have a couple of more replies to write and then I'll decide what else to do.
1:02pm: I wrote the other replies, and then was reading the Constitution and Declaration of Independence. "Unalienable rights", yeah, my ass. The MP3 guy picked up my MP3-player. I had him take it, hoping these two songs will be replaced. Wish I had some more music coming. I haven't done anything else. I have some things that I could do, stationery, a letters I could be writing. I just haven't felt like doing anything. I do feel better today. I haven't been depressed and suicidal thoughts like I have been. That's good, and I hope my mindset stays like this. I hate being depressed! Well, guess I'm going to walk for awhile.
3:40pm: Got my MP3 back, the songs didn't come up. I still haven't done anything. Just waiting on dinner, after that 5:30 I'm going to bed. I've got to wash clothes first. Hope Larry's doing okay over there on death watch.
4:50pm: Finished eating, it was a nasty ass processed patty. I'm fixing to wash clothes and then lay down and call it a day. It hasn't been a bad day, wasn't productive, but I haven't felt like crap all day. Maybe tomorrow I'll get some things done.