Blog you like a hurricane

The Easter concert was totally awesome. The man behind the concert told me it was the best show he had yet hosted; and, even better, he was completely stoked over getting to jam on my blue song, in front of his senior pastor. Both himself and the other volunteer playing on my song had a great time, which was what it was about for myself. They both give so much to the music school, it was awesome to get them involved, and have it come out great.

Unfortunately, the director of music school was unable to make it, but I'm hoping to get him included in the next one. I'm planning on either two of my songs, or a rendition of Jimi's "Voodoo Child." The two originals are both bluesy pieces out of "A," while the varied take on Jimi's - now called "Heaven Bound Child" with substituted chapel-appropriate lyrics.

The originals focus on issues time related, which I have a personal connection with, near 22 years of emotional frustration to ride on; however, Jimi's song has one of my all-time favourite guitar parts, from on - if not the - greatest guitar gods ever.

Outside of my music endeavours, I'm fighting the system at every opportunity of abuse that arises, to the level to support a federal civil rights claim. The horrible side is that the abuse has to be so outrageous, that cases often fail to state a claim on which the courts can intervene. Examples: Obvious malpractice and neglect fail to state a medical claim that is viable. The courts can recognise that abuse took place, but if medical wasn't purposefully trying to hurt you by overt actions, or if you weren't forced to endure an ungodly amount of pain and suffering, only after you've made it extremely clear that they are being deliberately indifferent to your needs, then you're ass out.

This is all due to the prison lobbyists - yeah they have them - who lobbied congress to pass the Prison Litigation Reform Act (PLRA) in about '92. Now no amount of emotional or psychological abuse is considered cruel and unusual, unless you can show actual physical injury.

It has become ridiculous on how abusive the system can be, before the courts can intervene. Because of this, the system manages inmates on both sides of that time, gambling that 1) you will be too scared to file the lawsuit - at the bottom of every cover page that comes with the lawsuits formats, comes a threat that all information in suits against the prison is shared with the Utah Parole Board, and lawsuits found to be without merit, that information can be used in determining the amount of time you will do.

I am not one for getting caught up in their manipulative management techniques. They cross the line, I write the grievances and file the suits. This makes me a target simply because they're only too willing to get screwed, and do nothing out of fear - talk about institutionalisation, for me, this behaviour epitomises it.

Yoga was GREAT today, albeit, with a certain amount of frustration. I have nothing but the utmost respect for both the ladies who volunteer to train us. Anyone who takes time out of their life, to come spend time with us, I hold them in a profound type of reverence. Both are with beautiful, loving personalities, which makes me feel almost indebted to show the proper admiration.

The frustration comes from 22 years of isolation, in which there has been little if any [?] type interpersonal relations. Then comes along two wonderful ladies, and - and for the love of God - one of the ladies I am attempting to place into the proper place of adoration, besides having a wonderful personality and outlook on life, has a rocking everything else.

Being a sexual being is natural. I think it is okay to notice the attraction qualities of others, and even appreciate it. I believe problems can - and in my previous experience out there often did - arise when I placed my growing appreciation for others attracting qualities, at a higher place of esteem than I had placed my appreciation for that person's being - who they are, what's going on in their life, etc...

I have been very selfish previously, placing my desires higher than the effects on others. It is a new approach, and at times frustrating, to just let on appreciation of the person even more.

I presented a proposal to my boss, the Lt. at the gym. I've been a volunteer, helping the elderly, and infirm, with their training goals at Special Gym, since I gout out of MOP, back in 2005.

The proposal is to facilitate a training certification program. The same entity that paid for my Guitar Institute curriculum can pay for about 20 students interested in the certification program. This program goes into personal training, training elderly and paraplegic, sports nutrition, etc... A lot of convicts spend decades training, and this might be a great opportunity for a realistic job or field of employment.

'Till next time

Nicholas Jean '141815
Utah State Prison
PO Box 250
Draper, Utah 84020

PS Also enclosed 1st original I performed live. I worked for weeks to nail the lead.