June 19, 2013

@Golgotha w/ T. Cain

From The Sound Mind by Floyd Smith (author's profile)

Transcription

@ Golgotha w/T. Cain
By: XZYZST
5.26.13

XZ: Now we got the old school up in here, I was
trying to hollar at the homie Ocean, but since he's
like two exercise yard away, I can barely hear him.

C: I heard ya'll, whats going on with you anything I can do?

XZ: Yeah, I just shot him my hard copy of that
109th Congress H.R. 1279 session about how they say
millions are being given to all law enforcement agencies
to deter @ risk youth from joining illegal street gangs,
but O.G. it don't say nothing about education, or helping
youth, it's all about arrest, arrest, arrest....

C: The biggest street gang is the muthafuckin police, oh,
yeah, one thing before we go on, ever trip on how the
police get pissed when a cop gets knocked down, but
when one of ours get smoked, they don't take it as
serious? Even their facial expressions change at funeral
processions, or media interviews, it's like they don't value
life equally, because a loss is a loss.

XZ: Speakin about loss of life, what do you say to those
that choose to, or is contemplating on taking their own
lives faster than the old self-destruction route to
suicide by street violence?

C: You're correct, it is all suicide, no matter which way
you slice it, and it don't need to be a youngsta
because the lack of self-worth don't age discriminate.
For one thing, his life has meaning and purposed. I'd say that
some peoples lives also serve a multitude of purposes,
but until he seeks to explore what they are, it would
be impossible to find meaning, or a reason.

XZ: That's a trip because we look for that one reason, and
get caught up searching for that one purpose and
fail to see....

C: all the other things that have meaning, when people
begin to understand that, we will also begin to see the
greater value in other people

XZ: You see, normally I would ask a few routine questions,
but I can already see where this convo is going,
look man, alot of our new generation face some lying
ass cats that think we all hella stupid, speak on
the truth

C: The truth is that what is a lie is not the truth
unless you believe it or can prove it....

XZ: Ok, I get that, now as you know, somebody that
may be effected by the re-alignment process thats
going on all over California just might be
reading this cipher right now, so now that you
spoke on truth, or what may be perceived as true,
what do we do when these slave drivers just
start kicking people out to the streets, I mean
how do we make the transition from being around
a bunch of wannabee manipulators, back into society?

C: First and foremost, if we are headed towards keeping
it all the way real with oneself, we got to start
with making amends with the family...

XZ: at least the worthy ones

C: We tend to forget the burnt bridges after being
gone for so long, so moving forward must include
the truth coming from us by jumpstarting the next
levels of family relationships by making amends,
one of the saddest things a person can do is allow
misunderstandings, egos, ignorance and the lack of
communication to dictate the pace of love. So own
up to your mistakes because mistakes don't last
forever because in the end it doesn't matter who's
right or wrong if the love is gone.

XZ: Sould like a old pimp LOL; or one of
those old soul songs from back in your day

(both singing "because in the end, it doesn't matter who's right or wrong,
If the love is gone" LOL:)

XZ: I'm saying tho, alot of people my age right now may
be like on some FTW shit feel me? Or have
been betrayed by family and even our baby mamas,
and can't wait to get out for round 2, so speak
directly to a YG out there on the mainline, or in
Juvenile Detention about amending shit to start over.

C: Since you are right here, let me get at you straight up,
one day, look snipe, one day, you are going to run across
a younger you, and...

XZ: But, a younger me? Couldn't nobody tell me shit....

C: Exactly, so that makes you qualified to deal with
your younger self, because now you have experienced
his future, and although he may not think he's
obligated to listen to you, the truth of you is
obligated to lace him, and or at least offer him
a blueprint on how to navigate through what's coming,
and in this situation, we know how things can
turn out when we miss opportunities to make
amends with people, especially family.

XZ: Damn OG, now cool, but what about those of us that
don't have no family?

C: Some people create family inside of prison, like a
family of lost souls that gravitate toward each other.

XZ: Real fuckin talk

C: I mean, the way yall doing this is family building,
and it's a good thing, it's simple, you Write or you Die.

XZ: Yeah, it's like alot of lil unity movements going on
all over California like inside of prison, I'm glad
you just said that because I wanted to ask
your thoughts about how my generation is more
multicultural than how your generation was.

C: I see that, but why are you posing that question
to me, I don't...

XZ: Okay, so like most of us know whites and Mexicans
and Asians from the streets, like we got
brother in-laws of different races, and baby mamas
and wives and shit of all races, but when we
come to prison, all of a sudden they become
unapproachable. I'm really talking about prison
politics like our table, ya'll side of the yard,
and alot of shit that we see as 3rd grader
mentality stuff, and...

C: let me stop you there, great question, and within
this context, I'll paraphrase a George Jackson quote
with a 2013 spin on it. Man, if I'm trying to
love myself, and learn how to love myself, and this
process is a change for the better, if anybody,
including my friends can't accept my transformation,
then it is in my bosom interest to exclude them
from my life...

XZ: Young A1-B just yelled out Soledad Brothers, he
likes Mr. Jackson's writings, I mean, this is a
new generation and it' slike people expect YGz' to walk
these yards fake as fuck because alot of us
been cool with each other and are already not
fuckin with those, well idiots and they always
say we don't listen, but look, we only listen
to the worthy, because the worthy ain't coming with strings.
That may be where George Jackson was going, who knows?

C: So yeah, I feel ya'll and that's one of the reasons
why he was assasinated because he was an
intellectual, you see, the gorilla can be controlled
with cages, visits, phones, foodsells and superficial
shit, as proven by today's version of prison, but
there is no limitation to an intellectual entity, and
I'll say that again to make my point clear, if
you came to me and said that you was working
towards being the best R&B male singer that
ever lived, and I said that goal was so
astronomical that it will never happen, then
it is in your bosom interest to tell me to kick
rocks....

XZ: and right now alot of people are being told to
kick rocks, yeah, and one of the challenges
we are having is in prison, friendship is taking
a backseat to association.

C: I like that, it's called guilty by association, the
inverse of that is becoming not guilty by
disassociation with idiots, and befriending the
worthy. New G'z and YG'z shouldn't allow for
the poor performance of old idiots to cause
all of you to think all older cats in prison
is on some foul shit

XZ: Yeah, real talk, I already see it because thats
why we came up with the term "The Worthy"
because we are running into alot of OG'z that
as soon as they caught wind of the
Papyrus(sp?) Collective and our Write or Die Zine Project,
without a blink, they rushed to Piankhis
side with, realness, commentary, poems, photos,
encouragement and all types of shit that we
didn't even know existed here on the row, so
we know it's some hella worthy G'z out there
on the mainline or stuffed up in those
SHU's all over California and in other states.

C: Y'all coming with something new, creative and
multicultural and all of these elements
together have not been achieved before
here on the row, never.

XZ: Let me ask you this, some people get all perfect, and
expect for us to grow at the same rates that
they evolved, and when some of us don't, some
old school dudes just give up. That wasn't my
question, just a segue into, How old was you
when you had like your, like, self epiphany
and began to think like you do now, feel me?

C: 23 years old, I can remember it like it was
yesterday, my second oldest brother and I had
a conversation and in that dialog, I started
reflecting about the love and the respect and
gratitude that I had for our parents. I started
crying and my brother said, he asked me why
am I allowing tears and sorrow to beat me
down because of the mistake I made and the
misguided love that I was living by.

XZ: You mean that street life?

C: Yep

XZ: You know I'm going to put yep right here,
so it's yep?

C: Yep, see, my parents instilled all things valuable
in us, peace, love, blessings, all that, I grew up
in the church (both LOL;)

XZ: As most of us did, I grew up COGIC, now I've
grown away from that as well.

C: My parent's was some amazing people man,
taught us right from wrong and...

XZ: Let me stop you there so you can microwave
this thought for us. Look man, alot of
inner city youth, especially out there in them
streets ain't giving a fuck about no church,
I mean, we done already seen the preachers
trying to get at Moms sexually, or all up in
the choir trying to sex the youth and
fools be knowing that people can't even pay
the damn light bill but still want to pass
the plate around 5 times, it's just a gang of...

C: And it's not just the Christians, for some reason
in our community, we tend to only see Jesus and
not....yeah man, but that's not what our
parents taught us, I mean, we was even
taught the difference between child molestation
and homosexuality.

XZ: Yeah, because child molestors don't have a sexuality,
I mean, even in prison fools be like oh, if
that person is gay, they must be a sicko...

C: or it's not cool for two dudes, or males, but
it's all good when two females go at it.

XZ: That's called selective morality

C: Exactly, and it's some good ministries out there
that's spiritual based and not religious that
don't down people because of that kind of
stuff and the YG'z would be discriminating
if they think all churches disrespect people
and children like that, you see, it's those
sets of values that my parents taught us
and I understood it at 23 years old and
I stopped treating other people all fucked
up, especially another man; even more so women.

XZ: So that's what you mean by making amends?

C: Yeah, starting with family, then the community
and overall society, especially a mans babie's
mama, even if the cops played her children
against him in a case....

XZ: Awwh that's hella valuable right there because
you already know how fools is ready to go
big on her for testifying in court and all
that

C: See, cats don't understand, #1. He should've
never allowed the streets to touch his Kingdom,
his househouse, he put her in a position to
even be all up at the police station being
treated all fucked up and threatened to have
her kids taken away in the first place, Hell,
she cracked because he made her choose
the kids over him

XZ: I mean, that's true but I just, I nevere looked
at it like that before

C: Youngsta, we don't see a lot of shit during times
of war, so even if people don't agree with my
rationale towards "staying out" of prison when
they do touch down, at least they now have
another perspective as to how to begin to look
at life in its totality and that means we
must realize that there is also other people
on this planet with us, so find a way to do
your shit without putting your kingdom in harms way.
Yall keep building man, this is you are supposed to
do, give my utmost to young Piankhi and I'll send yall
more stuff soon that yall can use as well. My wife
got a stack of materials she is about to hit me
with, so stand by.

XZ: Thank you, and that's some real G. shit right there. ------------The End

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Replies (2) Replies feed

wolfkeeper Posted 8 years, 11 months ago. ✓ Mailed 8 years, 10 months ago   Favorite
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post.

Shadowscribe Posted 3 years, 9 months ago. ✓ Mailed 3 years, 9 months ago   Favorite
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