*Much Obliged* 05.12.2013

It's one of those things where you just got to stay alive long enough for those on your side to prove you've been destroyed by those not on your side.

It's official, the Disability Law Center will represent me on: "denial of mental health treatment and excessive use of solitary confinement".

This is nothing to shake a stick at.

In essence, this is my third lawsuit against the prison. Because it looks like I'm still going it alone on: "Green v. Downs 2:12-CV-00432 due process, torture and First Amendment violations; Green v. Galetka 2:12-CV-00600-CW censorship".

One begins to think, crazily yes, "Is there an optimum time to die in all this?" A strategical, tactical time for your heart to stop? The exclamation point? - It becomes to be your job not to die... yet.

I'm able to put the inevitable on hold to get back at those who made the inevitable inevitable.

That sounds mean-spirited, spiteful perhaps, but when the getting back is aimed at the cause of those who got at you to never get at others in the same way they got at you. That's "getting-back-at" for your brothers, sisters, nieces, nephews, sons and daughters i.e. it's progressive; it's revolutionary.

So, I go to bed heart squeaking blood through stretched veins after hour long exercises. Wake up sore, sunburned from standing or laying out under the sun in our mini-yard cage deally.

I am here just to file motions and new lawsuits and sweat and be sore. I am here for the future betterment of a situation I'll never witness. I do not make hundreds of thousands of dollars doing this. I go hungry. I do not get the respect and recognition of my people or nation for my sacrifice. I am spit at. Forgotten.

Ariana, Victoria, Teresa and Hayden. These women look back at me from my walls. They understand. Their eyes pool up when mine do. They do not forget. A comforting smile is always ready. - And these women's fingers... The hope that one day I'll be blessed with the opportunity to go down on one knee in front of them, grasp their small, dainty hands and kiss her fingers.

And see her blush and smile. Beauty has no idea how much I owe her for getting me through this.