3:30 pm
June 19, 2013 I just received 2 more response's to comments that were left on my blog site. I was pretty overjoyed to know that 2 more people are reading what I write. This first one is in response to Kat. Well I am somewhat judgemental. This truly is one of my many flaws. I am not proud of it and it is something I am working on changing. Thank you for responding to what I write. It makes me feel like someone is listening and cares about what I have to say. So many men and women in prison are shut off from the world and they feel like no-one gives a damn about them. Since I'm in prison, I don't understand or know much about having rights. In here, you have no rights. So I apologise for not understanding but I do see what you mean. You deserve the same rights to make medical and legal decisions for your loved ones. You are right and I need to stop living in the stone age and move into the 21st century but in here, moving forward, when life is stagnant, it's not easy. So please be patient with me and give me a little time, I will succeed. I did not know that gays could marry in Europe and this is new to me because I have my friends (who are my family) in Italy, and my friend whom I love and adore in the Netherlands, Sonja. But they never told me that. So this is news to me. I try to be optimistic but it's not easy. A lot of my friends have bailed on me just this year. They don't understand being in here and I know it's not easy being a friend to someone in here. I'm not as lucky as I might have made you believe. Slowly but surely, I am being abandoned to rot in here until I die. Now maybe I deserve that for taking a life, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. I haven't heard from Sonja since Christmas. I love this girl. She is my friend and nothing more. We are just 2 human beings who care about each other. But not 1 word from her this year. It hurts. If you want to e-mail her for me, I'd appreciate it. I miss her and I'm just hoping nothing is wrong and nothing bad happened. You tell her Rob misses you and needs to know she's okay. If you don't want to, that's fine, but I have no way of doing it myself. Her e-mail is: sonjalouise@gmail.com
Kat, I have met so many lonely men in prison, men who have been here for decades and have been left to rot, forgotten by all they loved. So I know what my future holds, and frankly, it's pretty freakin' scary. I will never give up on my daughter. The photo of her with me on my blog profile, she was only 7 in it, and that's the only time I have ever met her but she's mine and I love her so much and I worry every day. She knows my brother made a facebook page for me and I just wish she would reach out to me on it. My brother monitors the page but so far nothing :( but I try not to give up hope. Well Kat, I thank you once again for your comments and if there is anything you want to know, or a subject you want to hear about or discuss, please feel free to let me know. I ask you and anyone else who reads this, please don't judge me on my past or my flaws, give me a chance and judge me on who I am not. I'll be watching Italy vs. Japan in the world cup qualifying tonight, go Italy. Thank you for reading. Ciao.
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Replies (3)
Thanks for your reply and your apologize is accepted! :)
I did what you asked me to and wrote an email to Sonja on July 10. I hope she will write you soon. :) She did write back to me. You gonna hear from her. She said that she will write a letter and thinks of you all the time. Good luck!
I have to correct something. Gay marriage is not legal in whole Europe. It is in the following countries: Netherlands (they were first in 2000), Belgium, Spain, Norway, Sweden (where I live :) ), Portugal, Iceland, Denmark, France (recently in May 2013). In Italy it is not legal. Some other countries like Germany have some half-marriage thing, there you can be in a legal partnership but its not marriage. You don't have exactly the same rights like a married straight couple. Ok, so much about this.
I'm sorry to hear that some of you friends abandoned you this year. But you have still your family. Like I read in your posts you have a brother who cares very much and who visit you with his family. So you should be lucky!
I have a question for you. Do you made friends in prison? Is it hard to find friends among the other inmates? If yes, why do you think it is that hard? Like I can see are almost all the inmates here on "between the bars" searching for friendship. They could search for some company and support nearby in prison.
I mean if you have friends in prison than you are not alone and it should not feel like you are rotting all by yourself. Am I totally wrong here?
But I understand that it feels better if you know there is someone outside the prison who truly cares or even loves you.
I have a friend in prison I care about very much. I write him every week for the last 5 months. That's how long I know him. 5 months. And I try to encourage him to continue living and not to give up his life. He is very depressed and near to give up because he has a life sentence without the chance of parole and no one left, no family, no friends nobody. And he is in solitary since almost 4 years with no end in sight. That's sad. So I try to help. I'm his Sonja, if you know what I mean. :) You are a lucky man to have YOUR Sonja. That little she wrote I could see that she must be a good person. I'm happy that I could help out to bring her back into your life.
I hope you are doing good and that you will hear from Sonja soon or even from your daughter. You never know, sometimes great things just happen without prior notice.
Keep your head up and your heart strong!
Sunny greetings from Europe!
Ciao, Kat
P.S. I looked at your facebook page. :)