EDWIN JAY HUTCHINSON
PRISON I.D. # P-68859
HOUSING UNIT: 2-N-79L
CSP-SQ/ONE MAIN STREET
SAN QUENTIN, CA 94964

JUNE 30, 2013

I HAVE REMEMBERED TODAY THAT THE BRAHMIN MOHINI SAID TO ME, "WHEN i WAS YOUNG, I WAS HAPPY." "i THOUGHT THAT "TRUTH" WAS SOMETHING THAT COULD BE CONVEYED FROM ONE MAN'S MIND TO ANOTHERS. I KNOW NOW THAT IT IS A STATE OF MIND..." - QUOTE BY: W.B. YEATS

HELLO WORLD,

I RECALL A FEW YEARS AGO WHEN I FIRST CAME ACROSS THE ABOVE QUOTE, HOW I PONDERED UPON THAT CONCEPT "HAPPINESS IS A STATE OF MIND." AS I WONDERED ABOUT "WHAT AM I HAPPY WITH?", AS I SAT IN A TINY CELL (WITH ANOTHER MAN) WITH A BILLION YEARS LEFT ON MY PRISON SENTENCE, AWAY FROM FAMILY, FRIENDS, AND EVERYTHING I HAVE EVER CARED ABOUT, HOW COULD I EVER FIND ANYTHING TO BE "HAPPY ABOUT" IN THIS SITUATION?

CONTEMPLATING THIS, I KNOW SOME PEOPLE MAY SAY THAT WE LIVE IN THE BEST OF TIMES, AND OTHERS WILL SAY THAT WE LIVE IN THE WORST OF TIMES. HOWEVER, THROUGH YEARS OF INTROSPECTION, IT IS MY OPINION THAT WE CREATE THE BEST OR WORST TIMES FOR OURSELVES. IT IS THE POINT OF VIEW OF THE PERSON OR THE PERSUATION OF A GROUP THAT PRODUCES THE ILLUSION OF "GOOD TIMES" OR "BAD TIMES." EVERYDAY, I SEE PEOPLE IN THIS PRISON SETTING WHO COMPLAIN ENDLESSLY ABOUT "EVERYTHING"; MY FOOD IS COLD, THIS LINES TOO LONG, THAT GUY'S A JERK...EVERYTHING! I CALL THESE INDIVIDUALS "CHRONIC COMPLAINERS." THE TYPE OF PEOPLE WHO ARE SO CONTRARY THAT IF THEY FELL INTO A FAST FLOWING RIVER, THEY WOULD INSIST ON FLOATING UPSTREAM. THEN, I OBSERVE THE ONES WHO ARE SENSELESS IN THEIR GIDDINESS, BUT I THINK IT WOULD BE MORE CONDUCIVE IN TRYING TO MAINTAIN A POSITIVE OUTLOOK OF LIFE WHILE LIVING "REALISTICALLY" SOMEWHERE IN THE MIDDLE.

YOU SEE, WE ARE ALL DEALT OUT CERTAIN CONDITIONS WHICH WE MUST LIVE WITH WHEN WE ARE BORN; CIRCUMSTANCES SUCH AS OUR PARENTS, OUR NEIGHBORHOODS, OUR SOCIAL AND ECONOMIC STABILITY, ETC. THEN SOMEWHERE ALONG THE WAY, WE ARE TAUGHT CERTAIN "BELIEFS" AND IDEOLOGIES AS THEY APPLY TO OUR COMMUNITY OR SOCIETY. HOWEVER, SOMEWHERE BETWEEN WHAT WE HAD NO CONTROL OVER AND WHAT WE ARE TAUGHT, WE FIND OUT THAT WE HAVE OPINIONS AND THOSE OPINIONS COULD GREATLY IMPACT NOT ONLY OUR OWN POINTS OF VIEW, BUT THOSE OF OTHERS IF EXERTED EMPHATICALLY ENOUGH. SO IF IT IS MY "BELIEF" THAT I AM LIVING A DREADFUL AND INSUFFERABLE LIFE BECAUSE I'M IN PRISON, THEN THAT IS THE KIND OF LIFE I WILL LIVE. IF I BELIEVE THAT "EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON" AND THAT MY LIFE DOES HAVE MEANING AND PURPOSE, THEN NOTHING WILL BE ABLE TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE UNLESS I ALLOW IT.

TRULY, THE REALITIES THE WORLD GIVES US MAY OR MAY NOT BE TO OUR LIKINGS, BUT THEY ARE WHAT THEY ARE, AND WHETHER OR NOT WE ARE RESPONSIBLE FOR THE BED WE ARE CURRENTLY LYING IN DOES NOT NECESSARILY APPLY TO OUR CURRENT CONDITION. IN OTHER WORDS, MY CRIME THAT I COMMITTED ON THE NIGHT OF MARCH 21, 1999 DOES NOT DEFINE ME AS THE PERSON THAT I AM TODAY. WE ALL MUST MAKE THE BEST WITH WHAT WE HAVE, AND WE MUST NOT FALL INTO THE MORASS OF MALCONTENT, MALICIOUSNESS, AND REGRET. TODAY, EVEN AS I SIT HERE IN THIS PRISON CELL AND WRITE MY THOUGHTS ON THIS PAPER, LIFE FOR ME IS INDESCRIBABLY AMAZING AND THE SIMPLE EXPERIENCE OF BREATHING, INDEED, IS NOT OVERLOOKED OR TAKEN FOR GRANTED. FOR ME, SIMPLY HAVING A LIFE TO LIVE IS A TRULY WONDERFUL THING, AND ALL ELSE IS SECONDARY.

WHAT THIS PRISON EXPERIENCE HAS TAUGHT ME IS THAT WHATEVER OUR CIRCUMSTANCES MAY BE, HUMAN BEINGS HAVE THE UNUSUAL ABILITY TO ADAPT AND RESET THE BOUNDARIES OF THEIR LIMITATIONS, WHETHER IT BE JOY, STRENGTH, PAIN OR WEAKNESS. THIS IS WHAT MAKES US THE DOMINATE SPECIES ON EARTH, SOMETIMES EVEN OVER OURSELVES. SO, DO WE LIVE IN "GOOD TIMES" OR "BAD TIMES?" I GUESS THE ANSWER WILL ALMOST CERTAINLY DEPEND ON THE PERSON YOU ASK.

WHAT DO YOU THINK? POST YOUR COMMENTS.
PEACE...