Jan. 27, 2014

In Memory of My Mother

by Michael Winsett (author's profile)

Transcription

In Memory of my mother

Two weeks before Christmas I received the sad news that my mother had passed away. Everything hit me at once, and I put my hands over my face and cried. Me and my mother didn't have the best relationship between a mother and son, but she was still my mother and I loved her very much. I thought about all the times she had tried so hard to keep me out of trouble when I was younger. She always wanted a good life for me, but somehow I would always find a way to get into some kind of trouble. As I got older, our relationship had grown apart. I had always wanted to make amends with her, but it never seemed to happen. It remained this way all the way up until she passed away. Upon hearing the news that she had passed away, I felt so awful. I also felt guilty because I didn't make more of an effort to make amends with her before she passed away. I sat alone in this cold, dark, cell and thought about my life. I prayed and asked God to forgive me for everything wrong that I had done in my life to myself and others. I told myself that I need to become a better person and become the person that God created me to be. Suddenly, I began to realize that I carried a lot of hate, bitterness, anger and resentment around with me for many years. I even started to believe that I was an angry and bitter person. I then felt a strong desire to get rid of all the hate, bitterness, etc, that I had been carrying around like luggage for so many years. I then felt a strong desire to replace these feelings with love and forgiveness. I accepted the fact that even though I did not have a good start in life, that that was okay. I finally forgave everyone that I held a grudge against and moved forward. All my mother ever wanted for me was to live a good life. Although I didn't understand that as a child, I understand that today. I believe my mother prayed for me before she passed away. I truly want to become a better person. Praying for me was the best Christmas present she could have ever given me. Please hug your mother, right now today, after you read this and tell her how much you love her.

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CJP Posted 6 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 6 years, 1 month ago   Favorite
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post. It seems that you are determined to turn the death of your mother into something positive. If she is looking down on you she will be really proud. This new year gives the opportunity for a new you. Take care, and good luck on the life transformation, I know it won't be easy.

mandysavage Posted 6 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 6 years, 1 month ago   Favorite
Thanks for writing! I finished the transcription for your post. This letter made me cry. I'm so sorry for your lose. I'm sure your mother is smiling down on you. Always stay positive :)

elisabeth.s Posted 6 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 6 years, 1 month ago   Favorite
Thanks for sharing your experience. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how it must feel. They say that the person who suffers most from anger, resentment and bitterness is the one who feels those things - not the target that they are directed toward. You are so wise to give that stuff up. The place you live in is by nature not a happy place and can encourage those negative feelings - so to choose life, to choose light, to choose rising above it all and let go of the negatives - well that is HUGE! Keep writing - it encourages others and the shared experience can bring back encouragement to you. elisabeth s.

elisabeths Posted 6 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 6 years, 1 month ago   Favorite
Thanks for sharing your experience. I am so sorry for your loss. I can't imagine how it must feel. They say that the person who suffers most from anger, resentment and bitterness is the one who feels those things - not the target that they are directed toward. You are so wise to give that stuff up. The place you live in is by nature not a happy place and can encourage those negative feelings - so to choose life, to choose light, to choose rising above it all and let go of the negatives - well that is HUGE! Keep writing - it encourages others and the shared experience can bring back encouragement to you. elisabeths

Michael Winsett Posted 6 years ago.   Favorite
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