"What you do speaks so loud that I cannot hear what you say."
-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Dear Readers, 02-19-14

Howdy!
Where to start? Well, perhaps I should state that this bitch is on the warpath. With nearly everyone.
OK, the main incident happened last week. There's a new guy here who came a few weeks ago & his bunk is in the hall right outside my door. Well, we quickly became acquainted & he would hang out in my cell all the time. One guy came in & jokingly asked my cellie & me about our new cellie. Anyway, there was a lot of flirting & massaging & etc.
Until last week. He hangs out with some ignorant white trash dick man who is 70 or so & supposedly in a "general" of ABT- the Aryan Brotherhood (of) Titan, a wanna-be Nazi group. This younger guy claims to also be an active member even though there are not supposed to be any active gang members in this compound, as there are at many other prisons.
Well I had been on a friendly basis with this old fuck, & went to go call to update him on a favor he had asked me to do. Well, this younger guy, "Cowboy" & the older dude's cellie were in there & they proceeded to pull me up & give me a talking to about hanging out with Cowboy & that he couldn't be fraternizing with a gay guy because it's against gang rules.
I was flabbergasted & caught totally off guard. I pointed out that they have no problem at all dealing with blacks even though they're supposed to be "Aryans" so why the hell should they have a problem with me? They came up with some bullshit answer about how they've found it necessary to deal with blacks from time to time, but the unspoken suggestion is that I am beneath them because I'm gay. I quickly left the cell after that.
After stewing a bit in the dayroom & just about the time that steam started coming out my ears, the old fuck came out of his cell & I went up to him & told him he could forget about the favor. That night I called out Cowboy when he came to my cell & have been an Ice Princess ever since.
Yesterday Cowboy came up to me twice (once in passing) & told me that I needed to get over my attitude. The 2nd time I told him that he and his white trash buddies get one chance to pull me up & disrespect me like that. He said that no one was disrespecting me, they were just telling me how things were. (Are you that delusional??) I told him that I would never have anything to do with any of them again - not even that was it. And anyone who knows me knows I mean it.
Well, it's kinda progressed from there. Another gang who always asks me for favors but won't socialize with me 'cause he's upsized about me then people will say (he's already been spoken to about me). "Domes," told to never ask me for anything again.
I am so fucking tired of being treated like a second-class citizen, a sub-human because I'm gay. I am more trustworthy & have more sense than 90% of this compound & I will no longer tolerate being treated like shit.

Love & Blessings,
KJ