I rember seeing my daughter Harmony for the first time while I was in Fresno County Jail. She was this long, cute ball of pink, I cried. I knew even then with the last of the drugs oozing out of me that she deserved more than her father staring at her from behind a plexi glass window. 7/20/12

After 9 long years my soon to be ex-wife visited me with our two beautiful daughters. I was also introduced to her five year old son. He was a flesh and blood reminder that she betrayed our marriage. So my blood was thumping and pumping. May daughter Noel asked me why was I shaking so much? I told her that I was nervous to meet her brother. I told her that I was just as nervous the first time I got to see her and her sister Harmony after 9 long years. I lied, how could I explain to her the horror I felt meeting my wife's son. This innocent child represented ever nightmare I ever had of my wife loving another man. While my wife lived a happy life, I had no idea where my daughters were or what kind of life they wer living. 6/10/12

-Mildewed tears-

White knuckled desperation to rember
her fading scent,
or the sight of her crucific hanging between her breasts.
and the way her hair reminded me of camping fires
now she love's someone else
I still talk to her
as if she's right next to me.
Roland 2/20/08

Roland Friedrich Stoecker Jr P-56837
CC1 D-8-49 [?]
PO Box 608
Tehachopi C9 93581

My ex-wife abandoned our two beautiful daughter's with a woman she only knew for 8 months. Now this woman is filling guardianship papers and once again I am without my daughter's. My ex-wife took her two kids she has with her sex offender carny and now travels around the country doing county and state fairs. My chest has been hallowed out long ago now its been filled up with biting, scratching insects that cause me such discomfort. I turned my drug addicted back on my four children and through their anger and hatred have turned their back on me. I deserve it!
Roland 1/24/14

-Few poems-

"Life put me in time out"

I sit in my pain
admiring how far
All my other emotions
stand from me

Roland 1/19/2014

-"sweet and sour"-

I've found myself trying
to force spilt tears
back into my eyes
You'r not worth the pain
of feeling betrayed

Roland 1/19/2014

Roland Stoecker P-56837
CC1 D-8-49 Low
PO Box 408
Tehachapi CA 93581