July 4, 2014

It's Over

by Bobby Villado (author's profile)



It's Over

With joyous excitement, I can declare that and without hesitation, that my term and captivity in solitary confinement has come to an end.

I came to the "hole" in August 27, 2010. The road has been filled with ups and downs. Nobody that has never experienced solitary confinement can begin to fathom how truly tortuous it is. Much has been said about solitary confinement and the dehumanizing aspects of it. Furthermore, the mental calamities it befalls to those that go through it personally.

Funny thing, this solitary. I say that 'cause once you've been in it for years, you mold yourself around it in a way. You'll find stuff to keep you sane and what will bring you peace of mind. These things that you find yourself doing to keep sane eventually it catches up to you and seeks payment. What you give to keep that "serenity" you must give back, whether it be in the form of your personality or your mental state. It's an unusual exchange if you ask me!

However, not dealing with the bombardment of solitary will literally cause you to go crazy. Lose your sense of self and simply lose your mind.

My stint in solitary confinement, and at the same time, we give off clues as to what our thoughts convey. Even in the confines of the cell, I tremble, thinking that the walls know what I'm thinking. I don't harbor crazy thoughts, yet to say I don't think of them would be a lie. We all have them... don't we? In this situation though, it's as if the walls would betray what I think. It's a twisted way to keep my "wheels" turning, I know. But in a situation like this, what and how many choices do I have?


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