July 4, 2014

Secured

by Bobby Villado (author's profile)

Transcription

Secured
1/2 3-3-14

I often ask myself how secured I am in my cell. Hearing this, one may think, with justification I suppose, how sane I am and where my mental state is at.

What I mean by secured is I often think what if these walls had ears and can hear my every thought (Now you're thinking for sure this guy has lost his mind!) Far from it my dear chap. This thinking doesn't stem from a psychosis of some neurological damage this is cause by solitary confinement, its come about by not having enough stimuli and socializing that my mind bounces to and fro without some way to stem the flow of "normalcy".

No, I'm not wearing foil on my head to keep the walls from listening to me. It's merely a tactic I employ to keep my mind from becoming static and frail so I turn to erratic thought you can say. Anything to keep my mind working and occupied. So, what if the walls can hear my thoughts? In the first place how many of us have thoughts that we wished no one knew of? What dark secret lies in us?

It's amazing and frightening to know that we can hide our thoughts [sentences missing?] has come to an end. It's been good in the sense that I've been able to view myself from afar and get to know my personality. Strange how solitary can do that but at times all you have is yourself to keep you company. Prison itself allows you time to dwell into yourself in a deeper level.

All in all my stay in solitary has been good for me. I've learned a lot and grew in good ways. Most can't say this, yet my mental fortitude has conquered the 4 walls that surround and isolate me in solitary confinement.

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Melanie Posted 5 years, 3 months ago. ✓ Mailed 5 years, 2 months ago   Favorite
I finished the transcription for your post. It's amazing that you have found such a positive way of looking at life given what you have experienced in solitary. Thank you for writing! My best to you. -Melanie

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