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 Untitled (Jan. 30, 2015) |
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apy2
I woke up early this morning reaching for something, for someone - there was nothing, no one there. Fear set in and I froze in place. Am I really all alone? Without friend or lover? Why am I so afraid? I've spent more of my life scared and alone, I accepted it once, became used to it but then your heart touched my heart now it's not so easy. I've been a bad person and I brought this world on myself. So sad. Unable to get out of bed most days. Afraid of everything. Lost in dreams, daydreams, memories. This time I knew it would last until we were together in the clouds. I know you're just on a break. I'm breaking too, my heart is breaking. So sad. I have no one to talk to here - not anyone I would share my feelings, my pain, my secrets, my heart with. I have yard friends here, people I associate with but none I would share my feelings with - none I would call brother - they are all gone, transferred, paroled, passed on. So sad. I know there are people who love me, who care about me, anyway I hope so, I've been so bad for so long. So sad.
A man needs a reason, a dream to get him out of bed in the morning, to keep him moving toward something in life. You are mine, my reason for being, my dream. Have been since we were no more than kids. This is not the first time I've been separated from my heart, remember how fragile it is. While you are on this break I am lose, without friend or lover. So sad.
4/26/15
Forever & ever
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