Transcription
My Heart is Poison..Lick it and Die!
I'm wicked, my mind is corrupt! I can't hide from myself! I've lost all control! I feel pain deep within my soul! But nobody know! Where are you, God? Can you hear my prayers? I know they flood up in layers! To me, nobody cares! I'm all alone, caged up, no where to roam! Can you hear me? My words are full of emotions, and my heart goes through all the commotions! I sweat greed and I cry puss! I'm ugly, don't look at me! I'll be your worst enemy! Why did you conceive me? Especially if you knew my destiny! It's dark, in here I'm trapped! I can't find a way out! I'm screaming but my mouth is closed! I'm dying but my heart still beats! My body is warm, but my blood is cold. I bed for mercy and grace, but I am exempt. Do you smell me? I stink. I smell. Rotten, full of hate, lust, sexual impurities. I look in the mirror and I want to murder the reflection that I see. I've been abandoned by all; family, friends, and God Himself! Heaven won't take me! Earth rejects me, and the lake of fire, Hades, known as hell, accepts me and awaits me! Death hasn't taken me yet, but I feel the heat already! "Help me!" I look up towards the sky but the clouds darken towards my presence. Sorrow and grief surrounds me! I drown in it. My father took his last breath to escape me, my mother doesn't pick up her pen to forget me, and my children have buried me! My existence is a burden! A wasted life! A failed human soul! I'm ready Lord, end this misery.
Misty Torres
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Replies (2)
I may not be God, but I'm listening now, and so is He. I'm sorry you feel so sad and forgotten, that's a horrible feeling. I will be praying for you, so know that someone is thinking of you, and cares. A little about me,My name is Jenni. I have 5 children, and I'm engaged to my very best friend, and he's a lot younger than me...I am an artist, finishing up my degree in Fine Art. I paint in oils, and sketch, tattoo, and make jewelry. I am taking up sewing too. I'm not a typical "normal" artist though, my latest painting is of a Muerta. Or as most people call it, a "female sugar skull"...I speak Spanish, so I always think people know what I mean..haha. I'd love to hear from you, and about you. You can say whatever you want, if you need to vent, go ahead, I want you to know that you are NOT forgotten. God hears you, He may not do things as fast as we'd like, or in the way we'd like, but He has a plan , it's just hard believing it when we feel so down. Please take care, I look forward to hearing from you.
Sincerely,
Jenni