#269

Letter to Kathy Ziegler
Dear Kathy,
Although I've not yet received a comment from you that would allow me to use a reply I.D. that would notify you of this note, I hope you stumble across it; then, from now on, it's reply I.D. will be our point of contact.
Allow me to suggest that you watch your heart, don't let it bleed out at the overwhelmingly gruesome wound that our "Justice" system (really our American society) is. If you bleed out you'll quit for your own sanity's sake. Despite my own need & requests for help, don't let your heart overcommit you; let your reason dictate what you do & don't do, keeping in mind your own needs & the needs of your children & the needs of your friends/community.
Many times I've heard from "good people" that the problem of our prison-society is too huge of a Gordian Knot to even consider trying to untangle. See, many staff, many bureaucrats and many prisoners, if you observed them for a week, you'd realize they have horrible characters! They don't care about Geoff's addiction, despise you for being healthy & talented; they'll all, like crabs in a barrel, want to drag everyone else down, often while hypocritically accusing others of being "crabbs" (e.g. "racist," "fascist," "gangsters"), delusively ignorant of their hypocrisy. All of these Crabbs, not just prisoners, need moral enlightenment, which can't be imposed on anyone by means of degradation/dehumanization: it can only be available.
The tragedy & waste of it is that the system denies the ability to live as an enlightened human to us who'd prefer it. E.g., I've repeatedly been forced to use violence to protect myself; we're forced to joining gangs to be safe; we're denied the ability to socialize with wholesome people; higher education is denied, denying the ability to potentially grasp the wisdom of empathy, controlling one's impulses/delaying gratification... paying it forward.

WI DOC Trust Account Statement PAGE: 12 of 92
REPORT NO. IBSR903-92 PROCESSED: 10/27/2017 15:38
Wisconsin Secure Program Facility
From 10/21/2017 through 10/27/2017
WEEKLY STATEMENT
DOC $: 303724
Name: LINDELL, NATHANIEL A
DOB: 10/21/1975
LOCATION: _A/RI_112/_L
10/25/2017 REG WSPF State Filing Fees 02CV1272 (0.67)

There are some few, really good men (& women in prison) who understand all of this. It is they whom I'm concerned with & whom I suggest you focus your energy on. It's hard for us & we're often alone & overwhelmed. Such has been my experience for the last two years trying to promote mutual respect & consideration between prisoners in WI of different races: belive it or not, Black prisoners (many, but not all) are furiously against this, threaten, insult & snitch on me, & very few speak against that insanity, those who do speak in a whisper. (This is a reality contrary to popular misconceptions about racism, yet it's true, at least in the WI DOC - prisoners in other systems kill their own kind/ethnicity for acting in those foul, senseless ways) This is wearisome & no prisoner activists in WI even acknowledge it, let alone speak against it. There are three Black men I can relate with... & no White men I'm on the same page with. No staff, of course. It's a lonely life.
So, I try to reach out with my art, poetry & this blog. I'm kinda desperate to connect, so I really try to produce awesome stuff in the hope that, "They like me! They really like me!" Ha! Ha! Ha! Haaa! =) (most guys won't admit that...0
Aw-ight I'm gonna wrap this up.
Share what work of mine you will. My hope is that a published will want to tell my story & that I'll make some close, lasting friendships.