#270 Reply I.D. 4gaw
Nate's News, 6 Nov. 2017

Been a while since I posted an update. That's because there's been little joyous news & plenty of the usual prison b.s., which I'll get into.
One bit of joyous news is the song put together by Kathy Ziegler which used two lines from me (not very impressive, I know) & one of my drawings. You can look it up & listen to it on:
https://prisonerexpress.org/2017/09/song-for-prisoner-express/
&, if you're feeling voyeuristic, you can read a letter of mine to Kathy - don't feel too dirty about it, as it contains insight that anyone interested in prison reality will, should find worth knowing.
The big issue that has me down is not the staff here, but the inmates. Imagine having a Black guy calling you a "Pink-Booty, Racist-Ass Honkie Bitch!" saying Black prisoners should rape White prisoners & calling you a "faggot!" - appreciating none of the thick ironies in his comments - & ten minutes later the same guy tries to act as the voice of reason & insert his bizarro (it)rationale into what would be an otherwise semi-mature, -stable conversation with another prisoner (who happens to be Black - I'm the only White prisoner on my side of the hall & we talk in the air vent connecting all the cells on our side). None of the other Black prisoners speak against the three who talk like this to me; they all socialize as if such speech is normal, acceptable.
My "cellie" (guy int the cell that shares a vestibule with mine), who's Puerto Rican (1/4) & White (3/4), looks Whiter than me, whom I thought I was cool with (played chess with, chatted with), who commiserated about the b.s. noted above, ends up stealing a bag of coffee form you, threatening to frame you for misconduct, spends a whole day manically spouting slanderous fantasies about me & telling the Black prisoners, basically, "Nate's racist & you should hate him!" (notice the irony again?) - all because I told him "Turds of a feather float together" (true, not the kindest observation, yet true).
Maybe I celebrated too loudly after whooping him at chess?
Anyway, there's no way I can have "solidarity" with such ilk. The whole reason I'm for prison abolition is because the P.I.C. preys on & unjustly/irrationally degrades humans. (One of those guys noted above told me, "I'm a bully. I get off on imposing my will on others!" - the guy promoting gay racist rape) But those prisoners are more acutely guilty of doing the same that the guards who force me to love around these turds of a feather.
I'm tired fo trying to be nice guy to these delusional sociopaths, It's unfathomable to me how they can "socialize" with each other (the three loudmouths act like asses towards some on all of the Black prisoners too, but to a lesser degree (no vocalization of rape fantasies) & without the racism, yet often they harass a Black prisoner for not being assy enough to me) and find that sufficient to satisfy their social instincts/needs. I can't even see them, as a psychologically complete human, more like a cardboard cut out, & this isn't b/c they're Black; I know White staff & i/ms equally empty of personality.
The problem of this crowded loneliness is due not just to my neighbors' sociopathic racism, but my general habit of needing & searching for depth in those I try to socialize with. I rarely find it, & If I don't, I find the socialization futile, a waste: I can talk to my T.V. if I wanna talk to the silhouette of a person... & that quickly loses any thrill.
I'm wrapping up my litigation of Mathews v. Brown, W.D. Wis. Case No. 16-CV-656-sfc, a case I'm doing for a respectful Black guy. Then I'm back to my writing & art.
Anyone who wants to help me can do so by ordering me up to 6 five-packs of envelopes from JLMarcusWisconsin.com
sent to: Nate A. Lindell #303724
W.S.P.F. 1101 Morrison Drive
Boscobel, WI 53805
(You can see on pages 3 & 4 why I can't buy my own)