Personal Journal

1-22-18 Mon.
I woke up at 1:24 a.m. this morning and it was raining out, the wind blowing it against my window pane. So I sit up watching it come down for a couple of hours before I fall back to sleep, daydreaming about my Jeannie and long walks on city sidewalks in the rain. Of course I overslept. :)
I see the RN at 10 o' clock about my eye. I think, I hope I can open it now. But it still hurts. :) Big baby. :)

At least the wind has let up for my morning walk. My hair's still curly and my eyes are steel blue~♪ So why don't you love me like you used to do~♪

1-23-18 Tues.
I didn't see the RN yesterday. I was rescheduled. I don't know about anyone else, but I think if someone told me they had an infection—especially an eye infection—I would want to see them right away, not five days later and reschedule it. Sorry, SOBs. It's starting to clear up on its own now, but that's not the point.

I did get to walk in the rain. It was a light rain, no wind to speak of. I had them order a new pair of shows. I had them order me a new raincoat too, just in case, and because as an old man in here. I got that coming. :) The boots are the 12x4E. Your feet get wider as you get older. I can't believe the widest boot they stock, that their PIA makes, is about a IE, if that wide. I've already promised my old ones out. I still have a back up—my last new old ones. :)

I need to do something about my hands, the arthritis. My wrist feels like it's broken this morning.

I've learned how it is. You yearn for someone, mentally to the verge of hell and death. You look for them everywhere, pursue them, to no avail. And your life wastes away in nostalgia.

1-24-18
Sometimes I want to tell you what I really do during my days. But you don't really want to know. Know this: sometimes it brings the pain, sometimes it takes the pain away.

When night turns
a dark blue
along mule creek
and loved ones
who have died
are back awake
and melancholy winds
are blowing leaves
in the trees
where I dream
that my Jeannie
is the tallest tree
along the fence line
singing to the moon
as the moon blows
imagine her being
along here with me
in our secret world
at first light
the rain begins
the trees will drink
an old dream ends
a new dream begins

"Write it on your heart that every day is the best day in the year."
—Saying

Nothing is literal until it actually happens. Paradox, the end of the world philosophy about the end of the world, is not the end of the world until it is the end of the world.

1-25-18
It rained last night. Started about 5 p.m.; rained most of the night. I know because I woke up about 1:30 a.m. with my right wrist and left shoulder hurting and sat here watching it all night. :) It's supposed to rain most of today. I hope so. I could use the solitude of walking alone with my Jeannie for a couple of hours. Not that I hate people—yes, I do. No, I just need alone time from the madness and all the bullshit of all the needy people around me. I think this might be to blow off steam, journal, so I don't just blow up.

I've been rescheduled to see the RN at 9 a.m. today. :)

Back to the cock fight and gambling
Back when I had ambition
Back when I had me a sweet woman
To hold her fat wrists
Soft as butter
Limp as rain
When she walked
She reeled and rocked her beeeeehiiind

Ain't that enough to make a convict smiiiiiile. (Dominique Christina, Chain Gang—Perchunan Farm)

1-27-18 Sun.
Another week has passed by. Have you ever noticed how fast time goes by as you get older? It seems like just the other day when you first passed by my way. What a wonderful thought, "Baby got her blue jeans on."

Seen the RN Friday. Some pills for my eye infection: dopycycline hyclete, two times a day. Do not lie down within ten minutes of taking. Do not take within two hours of taking other medications. Walk slow and drink plenty of water. :)

Ain't nothing happens in here. A lot of old men. There was a fight the other day. Makes me sad for my gender.

I would like to hear from someone, just to know that someone, somewhere knows how to read and gives a damn.