"To succeed in life, you need three things: a wishbone, a backbone, and a funny bone."
—Rita McEntire

10-11-18
8:01 PM

Dear Readers,

I sit here at my desk as the remnants of Hurricane Michael (which hit Florida) travels through Virginia. Heaven Knows by Donna Summer ends and Dance With Me by Peter Brown begins. Both old disco greats.

I got a new cellie off the bus yesterday. His name is Chris.

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8:16 PM

Okay. So Lee came in as I was writing. Shit. Kevin just walked in.

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8:29 PM

Keven's here. I just made him a soup. It's I Like It by Enrique Iglisias and Pitbull. I'm not all old disco.

So Kevin was a dick this past Friday and Saturday. On Sunday he wasn't so bad, and by Monday he was actually nice. We hung out all day.

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8:49 PM

The soup is gone and so is Kevin.

Anyway, his primary benefactor "Mohawk" and him are generally on the "outs". He's been hanging out more than ever. The other day I went over to another unit (against the rules) and got some work done (WWK) on my arm (also against the rules) by some very hot guy ("Country"). After I got back, Kevin asked me in a hangdog manner what Country and I did after he finished (nothing, unfortunately). But anyway, he actually acted jealous! He keeps saying that I'm his "bitch," but I just roll my eyes. He's such a hustler. And for some reason, I still love him to death.

So when Lee came by, he paid me a compliment. he had said that he didn't know how to react to me at first, but he was surprised to learn that I was a very genuine and real person. That was really nice.

Anyway, back to the new cellie, Chris. He seems really nice and quiet. And I didn't hear a sound out of him last night (no snoring!), which is great. He's just here on a violation and gets out on February 28 next year. I think he'll be easy to live with for a few months.

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10/15/18
8:42 PM

Okay, so I recently finished a book called The Tulip: The Story of a Flower that has Made Men Mad. It was a little dry. I suppose you'd really have to like tulips, but it was interesting. As one of my readers (and friend!) know, I LOVE tulips (hi, Rita!)! I would have to say that white roses are my very favorite flower, but after that, I really love tulips of all kinds. When Ken and I lived in Chicago, I planted a lot of tulip bulbs, and they were beautiful in the spring.

My dear friend, Rita, who is from Belgium, and sent me cards and clippings with tulips. I very much enjoy them. In the mail today, I got a package of clippings that had a postcard from Holland with a field of different colored tulips. Beautiful!

I had a bad day today dealing with "Robocop." Oh my god, this guy is such a fucking idiot. He's really big on saying "Sir! Yes sir!" and "Affirmative," even though he's never been in the military. He's very robotic, hence the name. This guy has literally assaulted one inmate and even one staff member. I have NO IDEA how or why they possibly keep this guy around. For real, he's usually assigned to jobs like watching the cameras or driving the perimeter trucks. He should NOT have any contact with inmates.

Anyway, I got caught trying to take a couple of apples out of the chow at lunch. BFD. It's only a couple of apples (one was on my tray). I really shouldn't have even tried.

He made a huge deal out of this. The ridiculous idiocy went on and on, and even threatened to write me a shot for stealing, which would have sent me to the hole. I had to wait by the compound office after even the compound closed after lunch. He told me to wait there and chatted with staff at the chow hall (outside). He was taking his time to show up. Then, he had us wait inside and outside the office before sending us (another guy was sent there for not having a belt on) back to our units and tellings us to come back on the next move, which would have been the 12:40 PM work call. When I normally go to the library. So I came back at 12:40 (waited until that move ended for him to show up) and then dealt with more of his ridiculous behavior and threats.

This guy is such an idiot. He sent the aforementioned Country to the compound office at the 12:40 move 'cause he told Country to take the pen out from behind his ears (an ink pen) and Country replied that, "It's not behind my ear, it's in my hair." (he has a long ponytail). He then handed the pen to Robocop. So Robocop sends him to the compound office just to play tough and chew him out. This guy really needs a mental evaluation. He ended up taking my wallet (a hobby craft item which most everyone has) 'cause it's "contraband"... just like my jewelery.

I would love for this guy to be transferred to USP Big Sandy. He would not get away with acting the way he does at USP. They'd literally kill him. He only gets away with it here 'cause this is a "soft" yard.

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10/18/18
8:30 PM

Okay, so I started on Improve for Business class tonight. It's disguised as a business class but, when it comes down to it, it's really an improve class. It was a lot of fun! The class lasts for eight weeks or so, and it promises to be really enjoyable.

For the record, Done for Me by Charlie Puth feat. Kellows is playing. I do have some current songs, but there are decades worth of great songs.

Yesterday and today, they had an outside yoga instructor come it and she taught a yoga class. That was also great. There's talk of trying to have a yoga certification/instructor's class. Fingers crossed.

Mason has pooped out on me where yoga is concerned. He said it wears him out too much. That may be true, but I wouldn't be surprised if he quit 'cause he was being teased. He still meets me at rec some nights, and we walk laps. He's such a hottie and a nice guy, even though he has some bad ideas (in my opinion). He thinks he should be able to take whatever he wants from anyone (he's stolen a lot on the streets). I try to dissuade him from these thoughts to little success.

I suggested that he should get the Anarchist Black Cross newsletter. He said that he's against anarchy 'cause it's too conformist! Yes.

Kevin's been driving me crazy, as usual. He's so funny. I know i mention him a lot, but he's just so... hard to give a positive of. He's so rotten, but in a charming way. And when he wants something, he's indomitable. He's such a spoiled brat! He keeps expecting me to take care of him because "you're supposed to!" I keep pointing out that we're not actually "together" and he promptly corrects me. "Yes, we are!"

"Only when you want something," I reply.

I'm sure we'll get in another fight soon, but I've enjoyed the past few weeks that we've hung out. Part of me would like him to move in and be cellies, but the rational part of me knows that he would run all over me, take everything I had, and we'd end up fighting.

Oh, they fixed the mp3 cords on two of the computers either yesterday or the day before. Luckily, my mp3 player didn't "expire", but other guys did. I hope these assholes don't screw things up for us again.

Until next time...

Love and blessings,
Kelly