The Novelist Portent
Johnny E. Mahaffey
November 26, 2018

ANOTHER DAY AFTER ANOTHER DAY

I'm having a hard day today. Lots of prison drama, and Jaime told me it was good to call this morning and evening since she was only scheduled to work the middle of the day. I called but our pre-paid account is out of money. She answered but wasn't able to accept it without putting in a credit card (and that's not an option for her right now). I've been doing pretty good at keeping it loaded up with enough for us to talk daily (once, twice or more), but with so much drama here right now, I can't get it done.

And, yes, I know. I bemoan our situation, but I do love her. She provides a center for me within the center of my soul. Does that make sense?

I have my novel project and stack of artwork that I'm currently scratching away at with graphite, colored pencil, pastel, and watercolors in an effort to create some Christmas gifts for my family. It's currently 12:40 PM. I'm off work today because they were supposed to come around and trade out EVERYONE's uniform but that fell through for some reason. Everyone just got a day off work for no reason. Everything here, as they say, "is subject to change at any moment." And change it does. It's all very depressing.

Waking up in the mornings in a place like this and finding a reason to breathe, to carry on, to try, is not easy. Keeping my sanity and sense of self is a priority for me. I don't want this place to break me, to make me a criminal-minded drone like those around me or embitter me towards the world. I know I have a good heart and a good soul. I don't want this place to suck it out of me. When I call and talk to my family, to Jaime, our kids, Emily, our sister, etc., my stepfather, my sister, and my grandmother are all setting up prepaid phone accounts through GTL (1-877-650-4249) so I can call them and email with the prison at www.offenderconnect.com. We exchange emails. I've made a lot of reconnections lately with family and friends. It's nice.

I do have faith that things will work out so I'm not giving up. I have my fingers crossed for a Christmas visit. I've wanted one of those for a very long time. This year, I might just get one.

Time hasn't taken us away from each other. It's brought us together. There's a new way I view life, and the people I know and love. It really is a shame that I am where I am. I have a lot to offer this world. Writing this, knowing you read it—that brings me solace. And I really appreciate those that have the heart to comment.

M