Jan. 14, 2019

Diary

by Steve J. Burkett (author's profile)

Transcription

DIARY

On Monday: I crawled out of bed, bumped my head on the bunk above me hit my knee on the locker stumped my toe on the toilet.

On Tuesday: I was tangled up in the sheets, unable to move my legs, my hands were in a vice, I rolled off the bed onto the cold floor.

On Wednesday: my eyelids were pressed closed, as tight as a prison door, I pushed them open with my fingers only to find a dark cell.

On Thursday: I awakened with a smile on my face and bounced out of bed to the music of the Grateful Dead, playing inside my head,

On Friday: I didn't want to open my eyes, holding on to the last [?] of a dream, my Jeanne's arms wrapped around me, her body tightly against mine, fading into memory.

On Saturday: her morning kiss awoke me, I climbed out of bed in my underwear into my pants leaving my love behind in a dream, I will find again tonight.

On Sunday: sleeping with my love, somewhere in the stars, at midnight her thoughts brought me wide awake, I jumped out of bed wanting to decipher her dreams, I wrote this down.

1/6/19

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arcadiaego Posted 6 months ago. ✓ Mailed 5 months, 2 weeks ago   Favorite
Dear Steve,

Thanks for writing this, I hope my transcription is OK. I really enjoyed this beautiful prose/poem.

danielle Posted 6 months ago. ✓ Mailed 5 months, 2 weeks ago   Favorite
Dreams were one of my few escapes in jail. I would always wake up and open my eyes and look down to see if I was still in jail and when I saw the orange jumpsuit the depression would set in. I feel your pain man!

tigana Posted 5 months, 1 week ago. ✓ Mailed 5 months ago   Favorite
Nothing here for the last 3 weeks - hope that doesn’t mean anything’s wrong. I had a really horrible stomach bug - one of those that just lingers on and on - hopefully all well now - or almost

Writing here - and will try to get at least a note in the mail too (it can be a race) but this is so much easier - I know I can finish this, at least. Theresa posted on FaceBook last night that Mel has had a heart attack - she’s now at the cath lab so they can see how bad she is. She’s been admitted and will have to have surgery - I’m guessing bypass (hard to get info from Theresa because she’s so flustered). Theresa is at the hospital with her, so hopefully I’ll get more news as it happens - try to write this week-end, or at least add another post here.
I love you.
Your Jeannie

tigana Posted 5 months ago. ✓ Mailed 4 months, 3 weeks ago   Favorite
Hello love
Hope you get both messages on the same day else you’ll be nuts - lol

So - I just hung up from talking to Mel - she’s doing better and will be released from Kaiser tomorrow - she’s going home with Theresa for at least a few days. Theresa is at 4411 Palm Ave - Sacramento, 95842 - if you want to send a note or anything.

Mel definitely had a heart attack - she didn’t have symptoms that she associated with heart - instead she was having acute indigestion and heartburn. I’d read somewhere that women often manifest heart problems like that - more so than men - one of the reasons they call this the “silent killer”. She was petrified when they told her they were going to do the heart cath and put in stents - her mom died during the same procedure. Her mom, however, had had a major attack - Mel’s was mild in comparison. Doctor told her that she can resume her normal routine in 2 days - except no lifting for 5 days.

Theresa wants her to just move in with her, but Mel doesn’t really want to do that - doesn’t want to give up her independence, I guess. Either way, Theresa will drive her nuts for awhile, fussing over her.

Ok - no other news right now. I hope all is well with you... I love you - for always and in all ways
Your Jeannie

Steve J. Burkett Posted 4 months, 1 week ago.   Favorite
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FatherJohn Posted 3 months, 1 week ago. ✓ Mailed 3 months ago   Favorite
Steve,

Your desire to hear your name at mail call resulted in this entry on your blog.

Melancholy is something I completely understand...ditto nostalgia...and age...yes, I understand that too.

But I can never understand what it is like to endure what you have experienced...you can't understand another man unless you can walk a mile in his shoes...they used to say.

I can empathize and sympathize...but understand? No.

Your imagery painted by the rain is at once sad and hopeful. Odd, that combination, not explicit but I see it (not hear it but see it...in the mix of imagery and memory)

Without hope, lies only despair. Hope Steve, Hope.

I remain, John Pfister
April 3, 2019

Steve J. Burkett Posted 3 months ago.   Favorite
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Steve J. Burkett Posted 2 months, 3 weeks ago.   Favorite
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tigana Posted 2 months, 2 weeks ago. ✓ Mailed 1 month ago   Favorite
A short message - don’t particularly feel like writing, but want you to know I’m thinking of you. Of course, I guess you DO know that already :)
Tomorrow (Monday) I go to the doctor - just routine (a Pap smear). I thought about changing it - Amber and the girls are going to the beach - but I really don’t want to go all that much. I don’t much like the beach - hate the sand, etc - they don’t have my ocean here - the Pacific, wild and free, thundering against the cliffs (no yucky sand - lol). Actually, what the clincher was - the thought of walking across all the sand to get to the water and then, worse yet, walking back after playing in the water <sigh> guess I’m just old!
Also - either Friday or Saturday I’m going to Valerie’s - in Alabama - and thought of how uncomfortable that trip would be with a sunburn - and there’s no way I’d avoid the burn, even using sunblock - I’m usually so white I’m fluorescent until much later in the summer - after a few weeks of our pool.
I told Amber that I’ll regret not going as soon as I see them leave - lol - but it’s for the best...
I love you - on my way to bed now - sweet dreams - I’ll see you in mine.
All my love - always and all ways...
Your Jeannie

Steve J. Burkett Posted 1 month, 1 week ago.   Favorite
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