Kx9c
Personal Journal
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11/3/19 I got up Saturday with a sore throat making it hard to breathe - sometime during the night they had turned the heater on a lot of people had sore throats :) this morning (Sunday) the air vents are shut off so I'm really having trouble getting air feeling a bit dizzy - maybe it's a little psychological but whenever the air vent is off it gets out in the cell and I have trouble with my breathing. If I could I Would break out the dark window. It's small with no way to open :) nothing to beat it with either :) There is some little air coming out the vent but you can't tell it by putting your face up there - not even a cop around when you need one - they don't come in until 6 AM. Then, they'll open the doors :) At least I'm not cold right now - it was supposed to get below 40 last night and it looks cold out there. Back is tightening up - I'm done for today. Watch football all day :)
11/4/19 I write in circles when I don't feel good :) I seem to be doing that a lot more this past year. It's like my pain moving around from one spot to another :) The tightness in my back is from sitting in one position too long - I was drawing up Christmas cards and painting them. Now I have to slow down for a few days until the stiffness is gone :) My celly Ricky keeps telling me to get up and paint or do something. I'm spending way too much time on my rake doing nothing, contemplating :) at least now I'm getting up to contemplate and getting something done now and then. I did get out and walk for a couple of hours in the a.m. as I do almost every day - even when I'm just feeling sorry for myself - I'm having to wear two pairs of socks to walk right now - I have a couple of corns on the right side/bottom of my right foot :) right :) I'm
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writing to see the foot doctor to get them cut off. I do this once or twice a year. She must have a long list of people waiting - the state boots they make people work in are bad for your feet built to be bad on your feet. The shoe that I wear are not bad for your feet "Dr. Comforts" are good for your feet. My feet problems go back to when I was a kid and had to wear secondhand shoes that didn't fit :( I dress warm to go out for breakfast - we have to stand out in the night cold from 15 to 30 minutes in the dark waiting for the mess doors to open - then another half hours writing to get me breathing treatment - it's kind of cold at that time. I come back in and take them off before yard as it seems to start warming up when the sun comes up at the yard. I know I repeat myself sometimes from week to week but that's just what's on my mind.
11/5/19 It's warm again this morning and I feel good, slept good :) good :) last night that good :)just so you know I get lost sometimes just moving from my bunk to the door. That's not near as bad as losing things. I finished a Thanksgiving card yesterday and put it away to give to the guy after dinner then I couldn't find it when I came back from dinner. I did remember where I put it inside an envelope while I was taking a shower. Something like this happens to me almost every day - one too many bottles or one too many blow to the head. Not much going on around here to write about. I am going over to see the doctor this afternoon. Not sure if it's for the lungs or the lupus. I'm hoping it's to do with the lupus - I can never close my hands all the way, it hurts to pick up a pair of shoes - did I tell you III dropped my shoes one day last week couldn't hold on to them, my hands, elbow and shoulder hurt - I suppose to get put on some new meds I would like something for the pain I'm always in :) They have a non drug pain blocked how about one of those - when you're in pain from your toes to your neck it's hard to think of anything else.
11/6/19 I saw the doctor yesterday (Dr. Jackson) worthless, useless - he has a hearing problem - I tried to tell him how much pain I'm in from the lupus and arthritis and he just moves on to something else. He's just putting me back up to see the pulmonary doctor - I don't think he was ever able to read the results of the lung capacity test I took - he did state "I see you're having some more trouble breathing" :) Remember I took the colonoscopy - they removed 3 large polyps for screening he couldn't or wouldn't read me the results but made an appointment for me to see another doctor, that worries me because I've had colon cancer before and they never send you out to have someone else read the results unless something's wrong. I'm going to file paperwork on the medical. there are all kinds of people who say they'll do it for me. I have too many things wrong and I'm not getting anything done but test. I want something for all this pain I'm in - not a drug but one of the pain blockers - I will take drugs for now if offered but I've been told the right pain blocker will get rid of the pain (mask it) ten times better. Enough complaining for today :) The weather has been beautiful here - close to 80 in the afternoon - just right for walking in the mornings - the sky is a beautiful blue with a few white clouds that remind me of my Jeannie I have to work sometimes to get out of a depression mood. I like to think of all the beautiful things around me - no matter how bad things seem to be to me there are even more good things to dream about. The smile of that beautiful woman that is always with me. How fast the nights pass when you have love in your heart. It's almost 6 o'clock and there is no dawn no light in the sky. It's still dark outside when we go to the snow. Yesterday morning when we came out of the mess hall the sun was just rising on the hills to the east everyone was stopping to look, there were black clouds with the sun burning them, orange & red it truly looked like the sky was afire - a beautiful sight to start the day with.
11-10-19 Can't close my hands right now - left hand hurts don't know how I'm managing to hold the pen in my right :) OK The weather's been nice warming up into the '70s. I got some Christmas cards done and a couple of Thanksgiving cards done - the holidays are here already. I can't think of what to say right now. Sunsets are beautiful right now - we got out early for chow a few days ago and there it was all red & orange bringing out the blue sky - I could feel my love arm around my waist - I almost turned to talk to her but I didn't maybe because I was surrounded by madmen & fools, I didn't want them to think I was one of them even if I am. Hello everyone - here I am drooling there I go into another dream.