Personal Journal

4/19/20
Sunday
I lie in bed in the mornings, reluctant to swing my legs out from under the warm embrace of the blanket. I lie here for what seems like hours - but it's only several minutes. I finally manage to rise myself up - touch my feet to the floor - throw on some clothes and make a cup of coffee - I brush my teeth - wash up - and brush my hair. Today I made a second cup of coffee, it'll be the only jolt of energy I'll feel all day. It is neither hot nor cold. I sit down on my bunk at my make-shift desk. Burnout: not that long ago I found such joy in dreaming + painting now I have to force myself to even sit down for a few minutes - I still love painting. I love looking at something I just finished painting and saying to myself - I painted that. There won't be any Peir 5 art show this year because of this c-virus. Last summer I did more than a day of painting because I had a purpose - the same thing when making a card or doing a painting something for someone. Poetry seems to just come out nothing long- just my feeling/understanding and as for my love notes my love guides my thoughts. I'm going to have to find someone to get me a box of tea - I remember how I enjoy tea in the afternoon or was it in the evenings after dinner - still I miss the tea.

I've told you the old men mostly just sit around and tell stories and complain about everything. The ideal is to out-lie one another - lately during this shut down it has been to out complain complain the next man. As much as I find myself complaining about everything I'm not even on the top 100 list :) Slow down shady, - tell me a story about those 3 dudes who jumped you that time; how you took them all down - I've never taken down more than for (always have to one eye) how much money you stole (I stole more) about the beautiful you've had -, with even telling a lie I can say I've had the most beautiful. They got people quarantined in the gym but right now the program is the same as the last week. I did draw some yesterday afternoon. Today I have not day-room or yard until evening dayroom I'm planning on painting :) :) I didn't like to make plans for the day, because then the word "premeditated" gets thrown around. Sometimes people come into your life outta nowhere, make your heart race and change your life forever...
Girlfriend: "You said you had feelings!"
Boyfriend: "I said I had felonies." :)

4/22/20
Wednesday
The last few days seem to have gone fast. Staying busy, doing a little spring cleaning, getting rid of some of my little junk before the guards come in and do it for me - they don't like for us to hold on to to much - most of my stiff consists of clothes letters from the past. Art stuff I have a few painting :) also I have a lot of paint - folder after folder of poems and stories :) what can I say I love to write - one guard takes the state writing pens - what the hell would you take pens for - we're just going to replace them with new ones. The weather has warmed up - it's going to be in the 80's all week- next week they say 90's. Warm weather good for my activities I'm not in so much pain - still can't close my hands. The bad thing about hot weather is it makes it hard for me to breathe :) life continues on.

4/23/20
Thursday
Woke up coughing again this morning - woke up 3 or 4 times coughing during the right as I have sense they stopped the breathing treatment - it seems to be getting worse everyday I try to understand they don't want to make any contact but shit...! Didn't have any yard yesterday afternoon - no one even got out of their cells until after #two - the warm weather is good for my lupus/arthritis still can't make a first but my fingers aren't killing me - my eyes are getting weaker - what happened to those new glasses they ordered me need to check on that - didn't get my boost yesterday need to check on that today :) :) :) I write a lot for someone with nothing to say... everyone take care. In case I didn't tell you food's bad.