Personal Journal

10/2/2020

It is October 2nd. I find it funny that on one day life seems to fly by like the memory of an old Thunderbird while in another day it moves like a ‘46 Ford parked on memory lane. I guess it’s all good as long as you’ve still got a little gas in the tank. I just got cold — a chill running down my back. I just wrapped a blanket over my shoulders but I can still feel a chill down into my fingers, It has been cold here early in the pre-dawn then warming up to the mere 100’s during the day, I miss the feel of Jeannie’s back against my chest she was always warm to me even in a snow storm her [illegible] was open — how I loved that woman and the chill has gone away with the thought of her warmth filling my heart, Smoke is filling the skies thick here I thick here in the cell. California is burning like hell — you were right to leave my love, you were right to leave.

I’m having trouble thinking this morning, thinking of what to write about. My mind seems to wonder a lot and I wonder is that common in old people. Lupus is flaming up right now causing the joints in my fingers to hurt. I know it’s the Lupus because of the butterfly rash on my face :) I forgot to take my medications last night, (don’t have a celly I would ask to remind me) hopefully this morning meds kick in soon :) I have [illegible] for medical over the week and Monday-don’t even know what most of them are for. They do keep a close eye on me :). My oxygen was at 94% Friday after working on it a few minutes-maybe something to do with all the smoke in the air it started out at 88%. The R.N. didn’t like the way my heart sounded so they hooked me up to the EKG thing-I was normal- anyway my heart was normal. They’re making me wear a vest now a really bright yellow-green. It’s after 6 now just about time for sunrise. I finished the house I was painting looking for something else to start, something to inspire me like the lights and color of the stars I’m seeing on t.v. for far off galaxies- large groups of stars throughout the universe-maybe I’ll just do a little reading right now its easyer I want to work on some poetry.

10/4/2020

The smoke was rolling into the cell thick last Sunday night, thick enough to choke on so I was up most of the night coughing and working the smoke dust out. I’m tired this morning but can’t rest because the smoke is still filling the cell. We sure could use some rain to help put out the fire, for the air, and wash the landscape. I shut my eyes for a moment and the lights came on in the dayroom. I guess it’s time to start getting ready for all the noise, the whistles, and the bells, the fool on the P.A. yelling to hear his own voice because no one else can understand him, televisions and radios being turned up, toilets flushing, about 10 of them :)

10/6/2020

I wish I had more energy, more strength. A little bit of cold like we’re having this morning and I’m aching all over; my shoulders, my back, my chest, the joints in my hand are real bad right now. I can’t think of much to write about aint doing anything except seeing doctors + nurses- I do have yard today, don’t know how I feel about going out-I will, I need the walk maybe find someone to conversate with. Yesterday coming back from medical, I ran into an old friend from another building and we walk the track and talked for about an hour, maybe more. I miss all my old friends-they keep moving them-it gets where you are afraid to get close to anyone.

10/11/2020

I’ve managed to get into this drug program-where they give you medications (drugs) to deal with the drug problem-just started this week-don’t know if it’s going to work but, it is helping some with all the pains I’m having with everything-they don’t give you any real pain medication at this prison. Anyway its helping. I feel move like writing, even painting got something laid out on canvas now. I’m try to call this week. Everyone take care and thank you. “I’m not going to eat that!” crap, the foods bad here :)