Marteze Harris #161543
Waupun Correctional Institution
Post Office Box 351
Waupun, Wisconsin 53963

Saturday, May 07, 2011
12:20 pm

I was watching a talk show the other day and the show was centered around men who abused their women, physically, mentally, emotionally as well as psychologically. There is so much privation in living this way, and it amazes me that women can live through such hardships, and sometimes remarkably go on to find true love.

I have never hit, disrespected nor abused a woman in my life. No matter what I've done in the streets, and I have done a lot, none of which I am proud of, I can say I am proud of the fact that I have never abused a woman in anyway.

Growing up in my family our women were "Protected" and "treasured". I can remember us boys playing with our girl cousins, they could hit us, but we could not hit them back. Sometimes, we would forget that, and "in play" hit them back. And the girls knew it too, and they would run and tell on us so quick it wasn't even funny. ;) Okay, well now it is, but back then it wasn't. Anyways, nowadays society calls it child abuse, but back then we called it "Getting our butts whupped!" However, the moral of the lesson was there is never a situation where it is cool or permissible to hit a girl (woman).

Men are much more stronger than women, and in heated situations we should have the mental capacity to walk away. Women can be very vindictive, man, violent and abusive themselves. I have been abused by a couple women in my lifetime, and I swear I wanted to strike them back, but there is never a situation where it is permissible to hit a woman. I've always said, "If I ever find the need to hit "that" woman I would leave her first, before I compromise my principles." I know that coming from a convicted felon...Go figure!?! Principles! Yes, some prisoners do have some. Never forget that we are human too.

In my eyes a man that hits a woman is not truly a man. Because a real man knows that there are other alternatives to the situation, and none involve abusing a woman. And, when I say abuse, I mean in every aspect of the word, not just physically. You can beat a woman down with words, and damage her more that way, that you ever could with your fists. So, men have to always be mindful of how we treat "ALL" women, not just those that we claim to love, but "ALL" women. Regardless of race, creed, color, or religion. I have also noticed that more men that hit/abuse women are cowards. They will hit/abuse a woman, but are deathly afraid to challenge a man in the same way.

However, what I don't understand is how a woman can stay with a man that hits them, hurt them and abuses them? I've heard abused women make so many excuses for the abuser. Saying things like, "Oh, I made him mad!" or "If I wouldn't have bothered him, he wouldn't have hit me!" or "He's just stressed!" Or, the gem of excuses is "BUt, he "APOLOGIZED" and said he would never do it again, and he truly loves me!" Absolutely NOT! Come on ladies, seriously! And, it doesn't matter what walk of life you are from abuse is universal, it affects the rich, poor, intelligent, not so intelligent, beautiful, not so beautiful, kind, mean--it doesn't matter! It affects all women, no matter where you are from...abuse is abuse is abuse. But what I don't understand is why? Why would so many women allow themselves to be abused? When you look in the mirror, what do you see? Don't you see how beautiful you all are, and that without you this world would not be possible? And, how very much GOD love you and cherishes you?

Love doesn't hurt, it shouldn't hurt, and if you allow a man to beat you and abuse you, he won't "STOP" why should he? It will continue, until you are either dead, he's dead, in jail, or somehow you get the courage to leave him. But there is one way to stop the abuse quickly! The first time he acts like he wants to hit you, you tell him, "The last man that hit me I tried to castrate him!" And, "If I can't do that then I will press charges on you and come to every court appearance!" But as soon as you see that he has a tendency to hit or abuse, you leave right away. Never even let it start, because if you are the best, then you must expect the best out of your mate.

But ask yourself, is this what you want for yourself, your children, and family? Also, what is your worth as a person, wife, mother, friend, lover and human being? Letting anyone abuse you is not living free, it is a form of slavery.

Love yourself enough to know that it is never okay for a man to hit you, or for you to allow a man to abuse you. Whether it is physical, mental, emotional or psychological abuse, because abuse comes in all shapes and sizes.

Love should always feel brand new, good and wonderful. No matter if you've been together for 50 years, or how many trials and tribulations you've encountered together. That is what makes it good, the togetherness of it all, and your love, bond, loyalty and devotion to each other.

GOD's greatest blessing to man was woman. I have always been a helpless romantic. I believe that a man should always spoil and pamper his woman, but that also works both ways, because believe it or not women, men love to be spoiled and pampered too. We may not let it be known like you do, but it is true, to be loved by a good woman is the greatest gift any man could ever want. For me this may be true because my first and truest love was my mama. That is that standard by which I rate myself, how I treat a woman is how I wanted my mama to be treated, anything else would have been uncivilized.

A man should always love his woman with everything within him, and let her know that she is very much appreciated, at all times. And keep romance brand new and at the forefront of the relationship.

And women must demand and command respect from the man in your life because you are "PRICELESS!" Women love yourselves in such a way that any man that steps to you has no choice but to come correct.

If you do anything less you invite men into your life that "MAY" abuse you. I know it's hard out there and the need for a man is great, but the need to be loved, happy and not abused should be "EVEN" greater!

I will say this in closing: I hear dudes in here bragging about abusing women, and rapists in here who feel no remorse for their actions, and act like it's nothing. Yes, I know, I too, am a criminal, but I thank GOD that there are lines that even I wouldn't cross. Be smart and be safe and love yourself. Let no man come between you and your sanity.

P.S.
Please excuse my many mistakes!

Respectfully,

Teze