Daily Journal

May 10 - 13, 2012

Thursday, May 10, 2012 7:10 am. Here we are, day four of being in the hole. What shall today hold?! Only time will tell. I need to get my legal letters from the property room so I can mail them out. I need to write some letters, it's just so hard writing when I don't have a desk. My back hurts laying on the floor like this.

9:01 am. I got moved from cell P-4104 to P-4105 where I spent six months last year. Fixing to file another grievance on getting this back wall fixed.

9:08 am. Just finished that grievance on repairing the rear wall that's separating from the foundation, an issue I filed on in June of last year. We will see if I can make any headway this year. I got a letter going out to the U.S. District Court today. I'm glad to have a desk so I can write. Let me get to it.

9:16 am. CO Sexton just picked up my legal letter going to the U.S. District Court. I had him stamp this to prove he picked it up. I usually have him stamp my date book, but that's stuck in the property room or gone. Well, back to a letter.

11:40 am. Just finished eating. That was a rough meal. I've been writing and talking to my neighbor. I need to write Mom next.

2:09 pm. Well they moved me again down to cell #4114 said 4105 has a repair for the back wall, which I had put a grievance in on, in June 2011 trying to get it repaired. Well, I don't really like this cell 4114, the desk is on the back wall, and it's awkward trying to write. Well, I'm going to lay back and do some reading.

5:32 pm. Finished dinner and just been sitting around reading. I need to send some kites out and let people know that I'm over here.

Friday, May 11, 2012 6:53 am. Here we are, another day in the hole. I'm tired, and didn't get a lot of sleep. I'm in cell 4114 right here at the rear door and it pops will the electronic lock and slams every 30 minutes. In this cell right here almost 6 years ago I almost committed suicide. I was going to hang myself. I came really close. If only I had done it. My mom's pain would have eased up by now, and I would [not have?] had to endure the past six years. Guess it wasn't meant to be. Hell of an existence that I have to endure. Be so glad when life is over, when I take the last breath of life. I have to constantly dig, and dig deep to convince myself that my life has a purpose, and meaning enough to justify my continued existence in this hell hole for which I exist in. And sometimes it's hard to make myself believe any of that. Yes, death, sweet death where are you when I need you. I guess it is my destiny to suffer and endure the heartache that this life has brought me. Guess I'll respond to a couple of comments left on my blog, and just see what today holds. I smell a stinking ass cigarette. One of them damn officers smoking in the pipe alley, which is against the law.

9:44 am. C.O. Sexton just came through picking up legal mail and grievances. I didn't file anything today, although I still have legal mail in the property room that needs to be mailed out. I wrote a response to Kimberlita's comment, and now I'm just trying to figure out what to do next. When Mrs. Mahoney comes by I'm hoping Officer McClain is walking with her. I'm going to address my cell door being opened on March 27, and him closing it at 1:33 pm, just to get it established in front of her, in the event that I need to call her to testify in court. This is like playing a damn game of chess, trying to stay 4 to 5 moves ahead.

12:45 pm. I ate lunch over an hour ago. Still waiting for them to pick up trays. I was working on a grievance on this D.R. appeal. I'll file that Tuesday or Wednesday. I'll have it posted next week.

12:55 pm. C.O. Stacy just come through with C.O. Harden and Stacy got down to Cell 4102, was yelling in at Mr. Conner, wake your M.F. ass up and went to shaking the bars or cell door. I also just heard that Warden Barry V. Reddish is on the execution team that kills us. I don't know how true that is, but it's something I want to find out.

2:20 pm. Just spoke to C.O. McClain and Mrs. Mahoney about the cell door being opened on March 27, 2012. McClain admitted to it, so I'm going to get her to verify that on a request slip and use that to help me. Damn, this is slick. Got to find a way to get around them lying.

5:10 pm. Finished eating. I hate having to eat this crap. And tomorrow it's going to be even worse. Right now I'm just waiting on showers. They haven't picked up trays yet. This is a bug ward around here. The guy next to me in cell #13 is just so mentally messed up.

6:13 pm. Just got back from the shower. Them officers hate having to put all these chains on me. They all complain about it. Well, I'm going to do some reading, but first I think I'm going to write a couple of grievances. One on there not being a fire exit, one on these officers not having their names on their shirts. Having IDs are useless when they can hide them.

Saturday May 12, 2012 8:21 am. I ate breakfast this morning and got right back in bed. I'm going to start writing. I want to put together a couple of blogs and write several grievances as well as write a couple of letters to the media. So I need to get to work on this.

11:55 am. Just finished eating lunch. That's some nasty crap. I wrote 4 grievances this morning. I'm also working on a new address book. This other one is about ten years old.

12:19 pm. They just picked up food trays, and C.O. Stacy was telling me about how when they jumped on Puerto Rican Mike and beat his ass, he took it like a man. So he just confirmed that they beat the hell out of Mike. Mike told me this when I was down there next to him. Mike is mentally ill so I didn't know how much to believe. Well, a C.O. just confirmed it. I got to figure out a way to stop this shit. Stacy said keep writing about the warden and they are going to come in there and jump on your ass.

3:32 pm. I'm working on a blog, and CO Stacy come through, said "You've been doing a lot of writing. I need to come in there, confiscate that and flush it all down the toilet." Well, I'm going back to this writing.

4:53 pm. Just finished eating. There wasn't much food on that tray. Going to have to go to sleep early tonight.

7:08 pm. Been laying here reading. I'm fixing to call it a night and go to sleep.

Sunday May 13, 2012 7:53 am. It's Mother's Day, last year this time I was with my mom. Or fixing to be with my mom in about an hour. That was a really great visit. I've got to finish a letter to my mom, a letter to Anne. I need to write a couple of other letters as well, and write a couple of grievances. In fact I'm going to get on that right now.

11:21 am. Just finished eating lunch. Fixing to work on another grievance. I've been reading this Dean Koontz book "Odd Thomas", I've got about 10 pages left. I need to write another letter.

4:48 pm. Just finished eating dinner. I've been working on a temporary restraining order to try to stop any retaliation once I start this hunger strike. I finished that book and I've started another one and finished another letter. C.O. Carson just came through feeding us, and I said, what happened? He said "You know how it is, I just work here." I kept saying, "Man, that was messed up." He said, "I just work here." I said "Whose idea was it to set me up?" He said "I just work here."

4:56 pm. He just picked up trays. He doesn't even want to make eye contact with me. That's a shame when you do something like that and you're so humiliated by it that you can't even look the person in the eye. He knows he was wrong for going along with it. But his superiors have no honor and integrity, so why should he have any? I'm going to go back to my book for awhile. I hope someone will leave a comment just to let me know that this made it and was posted.

6:33 pm. Just reading a book. Fixing to wash up, lay down and call it a day. So until next time.

Ronald W. Clark
The Death Row Poet
May 13, 2012