I have a few Never Agains but even if there were 100 of them, 99 of them would be against my wishes or beyond my control. You can learn something from your situation, as I read. I hope you never have to face Never Agains that you had no place in causing for yourself because that is the one thing I cannot seem to get anyone to truly understand unless they have been there themselves. If I named my several Never Agains, they wouldnt be like yours sadly because you can make yours truly never happen again. I dont have that option and it isnt the best feeling at times either. So even if I did write you with my Never Agains, I know its a world alot like yours may seem to be where you automatically assume 96 percent of the time people arent going to truly get it (nor do I expect them to, although some respect over surviving would be nice plus some questions about WHY I am this way or that cos trust me, it wasnt my choice and sometimes I can feel hurt/disrespected when anyone that knows me disregards my past circumstances and what they have done to me by just thinking I came thru unaffected) and you assume that because unless they have been there, how can they truly understand a world they know nothing of? Id normally say this in a letter but saw this older blog and felt the need to reply since my own Never Agains (although they are only wishful thinking really) weigh on my mind constantly for the past 3 yrs and even before then were things to constantly monitor, etc. I just wish that people who havent suffered any illness and barely came out of it without tons of changes and surgeries and medicines, etc, would consider how much that takes away from an average human being.....not just wait until they experience it and want my pity cos I have "been there myself" before. You know how it is, its just on my mind. People can simply say things that make me feel less of a human over life saving surgeries etc that I HAD to HAVE or else. And I am still young. So it makes it even harder to truly believe that men women whoever are totally clueless about what fighting a possible terminal illness when already at high risk for HORMONE FED CANCER as is (key word: hormones yet nobody gets that Im not gonna bounce back and just be the same after such going on before I was even 27 yrs old), etc does to a person after they are already lucky to be alive yet feel downed each time someone mentions their situation and downplays it and mentions hormones and sex and pushed it so much you almost wish you had NOT taken care of it at all and let it eat you alive, if you arent even thirty and just coming back to life yet this is what youre gonna hear or be expected to be for the rest of your life that you had to fight for?

The big picture is always missed, so I would say if I could name one Never Again it would be to never again feel blamed for being less than or pushed as if this is a personal choice Ive made out of some stand I have taken LOL I wish it was that simple this almost killed me before 28 yrs old (even though I am more than in every other aspect besides one that is truly mostly overlooked and yet the one LESS than Im stuck with for surviving (what a world to survive for here) is pounded into my head as if I can change it, which isnt right) due to this sex filled world (evidently its like currency and people cant live without it in some form I dont know but I dont humiliate them) I dont know when Ill be back to normal, but I am not a liar and dont just say whatever to people without meaning it, so Ill be whatever I was before this BS attacked me years ago whenever it happens. Until then, I can only wish for Never Agains because I will not fight to survive only to be demeaned because of how the world today portrays females SLIGHTLY and majority men fall for that and say HEY ILL JUST BE LIKE THIS IT WILL WORK. Just venting. I write too much anyway, shoulda done this in a letter but its weighing on me heavily due to some upcoming stuff in late January (wonder how many people will expect me to just act like its nothing- karma get em for me!) so I was afraid I would write TOO much. Thanks for hearing me out. 12/15 4 am