June 2, 2011
by Ricky Mayhew (author's profile)


Finally lil Camden will be laid 2 rest in peace. His mom wishes to be with him in heaven. But why there? And not on earth where they were. Fine to begin with? That seems way 2 suspect to believe. She should just kill herself. She's a waste of space and oxygen thief. Burn in hell witch.
That's just one reason to piss me off but I'm so vexed, that my family is good for nothing. I'm disowning them. They are supposed to support me emotionally. And financially, in my time of need, then why is it that for 3 months we ahd to send 20 letters asking for money to not even get a word, or a penny back? (Screw them) it cost me $8.80 cents in stamp to remove the only people left in my life. Well I guess I got off cheap.
What pisses me off the most is that we never burned bridges and I'm being treated like a nobody sitten in prison broke as fuck, watching pedophiles making $50 canteen bags weekly. How can anyone in their families care to support a kid toucher? And I can't even get a piece of mail being a stand up guy! That's why I don't waste one more stamp, piece of paper or an envelope to even tell them to fuck off. It's not worth it.
My friends got bored writing letters long ago. Along w/ sending money orders & coming to visit. And I've told them to screw back then, & it didn't make me feel any better & I'm not going to waste time telling my family.
Anyways. I've been forgotten by the world I used to live in but I'll never forget about being forgotten, people think when their old friends come home from prison, shit picks up where it was left off. But that's only the case for junkies. If any of my old friends even approached me, they'll get my back. I got nothing to say. Real friends would never have left a pal to rot in prison, without mail, visits or money even if it is his own fault he's in prison. If I was still out there ballin, giving free coke & weed out, it'd be a different story. But I'm not. That's another main reason I want a different crowd of people to come home to. "More independent friends" not just looking for a couch to sleep on or some work to push, just to fuck the paper up. That's why 70% of my friends were women, also a big downside of things because I've never came across a woman I can count on, you can't ask them for shit without feeling this low... and when you do get the nerve up it always ends up being a disappointment. Anyways I'm tired of talking shit about no good friends and family.
What I wanna talk about is where are all the good girls who like bad boys hibernating because I can use a nice girl to talk to and write to. I wanna talk to a nice girl who I can build with. A chick who is happy with my swagger and is down with the movement. And will always take my side no matter what. Whatever happened to good women who support all the moves her boyfriend or husband made? Now they wanna fight and argue about what time we gotta make 2 play. Like it matters? Cuz no matter what, it's you with your head on the pillow next to hers when you do get back. So why fight? We bring money, pay bills, and try our best not to let their shit push us farther away each day until the day we just up and leave. This is our lives, get with the program. Don't try to change us after shit is official. We made our decision it isn't going to change, and they don't know what they're doing by pushing and pushing the subject until it hits them dead in the face. Poof! We're gone. And why is it that when that happens we're the bad guys? Crazy shit right? If you're a woman and would like to explain then please do.
Now... on to American Idol. Go Scotty huh?! I think so. I'm a big fan of country music. But then again I love all music. Let's hope he goes hard or goes home. Now that he's the winner he has to go hard. He better not disappoint us, because I don't think his city will still have open arms.
And I wanna say I'm very proud of the Dallas Mavs right now. We can definitely go all the way with this. I won't give up supporting them. If anyone has a prob with that then screw you.
I'm amped up about this new show that starts June 1st. It's called love in the wild. I'm into all these reality shows now, like, so you think you can dance, The Voice, America's Got Talent, shit like that. Having all these on top of my other daily shows that I watch help kill so much time my t.v. is my only friend here. If I didn't have one I'd go nuts.
I've been sitten for a week now, thinking about what to blog. and this is what I came up with. I'm not sure if blogging is for me. All I wanna do is talk shit, and I'm always all over the place. The last thing I need is for the world to believe they have another crazy on their hands.
Being in prison isn't much to talk about. Gangs, rapes, suicides, and beatdowns. So we'll just leave it at that.
The real reason I wanted to do all this, is so that maybe I'd make some new friends to write to. It gets lonely not having any contact with the outside world. And even worse the reason wasn't even my fault. People are just lazy, and rather lose real friends than have to write, and help out with canteen, and visit every now and then. Cuz that's what happened to me. I never asked them for those things because it's mandatory that they have to hold their friends down while they're in jail or prison and they didn't want to do any of it. Well... I'm out until I come up with other shit to discuss.


Replies (1) Replies feed

Ellsworth Posted 9 years, 2 months ago. ✓ Mailed 9 years, 2 months ago   Favorite
Nice rant I enjoyed reading

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