10-25-12

Dear Readers,

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OK, y'all. This fucking dude is driving me up the goddamn wall. So much for semi-cute. OK, I already mentioned in my last posting that he has ADD/ADHD. He's also only 24. This guy has been in here one fucking week - ONE - and he's already sent requests to see psychology + today told the C.O. to make sure that someone knows that he HAS to see psychology. Oh, + did I mention? He gets out of prison + goes home on Dec. 5 - just a little over a month away. I had to convince him NOT to tell the C.O. that he HAD to see someone tonight. "'Cause someone's always gotta be on call, right?"

One fucking week. I've been in here 5 weeks so far + I did NOTHING (he got a "shot"). He has asked almost every staff member he knows the same damn question about how long "they can keep [him] back here" + gets a different answer every time. It's not up to any of these miscellaneous people. For whatever reason, the staff didn't have their SHU meeting this week, which is where they determine whom they're going to release. That, + only that, is most likely (90%) the only reason he didn't get released this week + will have to wait another week. B.F.D.

Now, any other guy in here, most of whom have been in here much longer than one week, would just lay back + relax for another 6 weeks knowing they're going home. No stress, no problems. This mental case - with whom I am stuck - is now throwing a fit to see if he can somehow manipulate psychology into doing him special favors that no one else gets. I can't deal with this.

Another wonderful part about being in the Hole. You're stuck in a cell with some stranger (usually) 24/7. Even if you know the guy + are friends, you're still trapped in a cell with them with no breaks + all their BS you eventually have to deal with. It can really get on your nerves + make you lose your sanity (or want to kill them). It can really screw with you mentally.

I tried to keep my mouth shut, + I'll admit that I did tone down my comments a great deal from what I was thinking (I'm slowly learning to do that), but I HAD to say something. C'mon dude, is ANYONE else on this range crying for psychology? No. We've already got one nut job in the cell right across from us (a whole entry himself) + I told my cellie that he's starting to act like this guy we make fun of.

I can't take this. I really thought I'd get out this week after seeing that lazy asshole from SIS 2 weeks ago. Nope. It wouldn't surprise me that they're keeping me in here 'cause of the legal case I currently have going in court. I had a motion due tomorrow, but sent in a request for an extension of time for obvious reasons. I put in a request to visit the law library 3-4 weeks ago + still haven't been allowed to go. The SIS guy, Morton, specifically mentioned legal work to me so he knows without my bringing it up that I have stuff to do.

Oh, Goddess. How am I gonna deal with this guy for another week? God forbid one of us doesn't get out then! He can't even be bothered to read - he doesn't like anything. I think he's read one James Patterson book this week + I can finish one of his books in a day.

10-27-12
Well, yesterday he did it. He told the COs repeatedly that he HAD to see psychology. OK, so what happens? They take him to a holding cell just off the end of the range. The lady from psychology asks him what his problem is + refuses to take him out of the holding cell. Why? Because he doesn't have a legitimate reason to be crying to psychology. It's not their decision to take him out of the Hole, he's only been in here one week, + as she pointed out specifically: he goes home in a month so what is he crying for? Even the nutjob across the aisle was making fun of him. He sat in that holding cell (which is cold) for an hour + a half for nothing, just as I told him.

When he got back to the cell he had to quietly sulk for a while until he got over it + said he'd quit driving me crazy. Even so, he started crying to the guy who wrote the "shot" who happened to pass by later + totally demeaned himself asking to be let out - + as everyone, including this guy, told him, it's up to the Captain.

I also got my first "kite" yesterday! FINALLY! Often in the Hole, guys will make some kind of weight, their "car", + tie it to a string, usually strips off your sheet. You then forcefully slide your car under your cell door to another cell down the hall (they often use their line to drag your line in). The person you send your line to can then pull in a "kite" (a note), or whatever, which is tired to your line. Got it? In any case, I got a couple of provocative kites + was thrilled to relieve the boredom.

I've been in other Holes previously for 8 months (twice) + they were a blast when it came to passing kites all night. Besides just kites, guys would pass magazines, plastic bags of prison "hooch" (wine) - anything. It was a lot more fun than here.

10-30-12
Well, I got pulled out of the cell yesterday to speak to the SIS Lieutenant, (MS Candelario, who is married to another Lt., + MR Candelario). Apparently the piece of shit who first accused me of threatening to kill him is now saying that I sexually harassed him. Really?? You have got to be kidding me. Again, he's in another unit entirely + I only see him at "chow". Now Candelario is saying that it's possible that I won't return to the compound + will be shipped. I really hope that lying, trouble-making faggot gets what's coming to him.

And that wasn't all the excitement. The nutcase across the hall decided to slit his wrists. Why? Because a C.O. he doesn't like brought him his dinner trays. Yep. He sure showed her. He wasn't hurt too badly + made a big show of it so they FINALLY, after much talking, got him to cuff up + took him out. He's naked in suicide watch somewhere. They left his property, and all the blood on the window of his door. I really, truly hope they don't bring him back to that cell.

In the meantime I'm gonna try + move in with the guy who sent me the kites. My cellie, who continues to cry to various people only to be told, again, that his leaving is up to the Captain, will probably leave this week as expected.

I could sure use a few prayers or good energy, everyone!

Love + blessings,

Kelly