Daily Journal

November 9 2012

Friday November 9, 2012 6:13am. Here I am another day on the row, another day in this cage. I've been up since 4am. I went to sleep last night about 7pm. Was woke up at 9:30 for mail call. I received 4 letters. That'll give me something to do over the weekend. I'm going to have to cut back on the painting. I'm getting low on paints, and can't really do anything with my work. Still no word on what day they have manny pardo set for. Well I'm fixing to watch the CBS news and then decide what to do next.

12:53pm Just wasting time. I started one letter this morning. I haven't finished it. Not feeling too good. I'm so sick of this life. How much more do I have to endure. When will death bring its candy ass on and end this. I think I'm going to lay down for a while.

Saturday November 10, 2012 8:24am Still not feeling to up beat. As I was writing. I just thought about the fact that my Dad got off DC yesterday. Today was the day he was supposed to get out, but if your due to get off on Saturday they let you off on Friday. Cause the Administration who does the paperwork doesn't work on the weekends. Not sure what I'm going to do today. Probably nothing. Which is exactly what I did yesterday.

4:46pm Just been laying back watching football. Right now I'm watching Texas A&M Bama. I'm pulling for A&M. I feel sick, I've eat too much. Got a hold of Bagels and Cream Cheese which is one of my favorite things to eat. I'd eat them everyday if I could. Monday is Lisa, my first wife's 44th birthday. Just thought about that when I looked at the calendar. Well I'm going to lay back and watch the game until I fall asleep. The sooner the better.

Sunday November 11, 2012 9:26 am Still down in the dumps, can't seem to get out of this slump. I feel tired, and like a dark cloud has fallen over me. I've got to get myself out of this state of mind. I think for now, I'm fixing to lay back down.

5:06pm I've just been laying around all day doing absolutely nothing. The Dolphins lost, I watched half of that. They broke my spirit last week the way they played. I really need to get a couple of letter's written. And that's what I'm going to do.

Monday November 12, 2012 7:06 am I'm up, that's about all that can be said. Not sure what I'll do. I need to finish a couple of letters, one to my Mom. Other than that, not sure. May lay back down.

1:27pm I'm just sitting here listening to music. I was laying down, I finished a letter and wrote a card this morning. I'll be glad when showers are over, then I will lay down and try to go to sleep. There's nothing on TV tonight. There's still no word on Manny's execution date. Had he not been upstairs and them guys told us that his death warrant was signed, then we wouldn't know, cause there's been absolutely no news coverage whatsoever on it. I've never seen one take place with this much hush hush. I can picture exactly what Manny's going through, where he's at. I remember my time on Q-wing and what it felt like. not a pretty place to be. FSP and the closeness of the executions - just makes everything feel so real. Where here at UCI your separated from it, unless they take a guy off your wing. There's a couple of guys on this wing who are on the list to have their death warrants signed. This whole situation is a mess. Yesterday I was thinking - how did I end up here?! "Here of all places!" I never seen it coming. I did a lot of foolish crap, pulling guns, robbing, but everything I did I did it to where people weren't going to get killed. Then I got around this idiot and he wanted to kill men. I think back to the day I ran into him in September 1989. Oh well! I guess it was destiny. If there's a God - this life has been a cruel joke.

2:25 pm Just wrote a blog call, "one mistake" maybe it'll make one person think whose about to make a bad decision. I'll never know it, but its worth a try. I know when I was doing drugs and alcohol, and alcohol was worse for me, but I wouldn't have listened to anyone at that time, not while I was drunk. You couldn't tell me nothing. And still can't if I'm stuck on revenge like I am against Warden Reddish. Well I'm going to lay down for a while.

4:03 pm Just sitting here waiting on dinner. Should be here in about 30 minutes or less. I seen on the news where some woman said Obama's a N- and needs to be assassinated. People out there are crazy! and she put it on the internet. I was also watching where they have a program where people are falling down drunk, people laugh about that and think its funny. There's nothing funny about alcohol. That crap is dangerous, and it should be illegal. If any drug is illegal - alcohol should be! People think alcohol is okay - when in actuality its the most dangerous and addictive of ALL DRUGS. Well I'm going to lay back and wait on dinner.

5:04 pm Just finished eating. now I'm going to lay back watch the news and wait on showers. Go get me a shower come back lay down and call it a day. I need to wash clothes right now. So that's another day here in my 9x7... 63 square foot cage.