Reply ID = mxeu

Mom,

I am sorry if my actions hurt you. For ten years now I have lived in solitary confinement, abandoned by the family I love, vilified by the media, condemned by the courts and much more. Most days I have anxiety attacks and live in a fog of neverending depression. My battles with the prison system are the only thing that has given me purpose in life. A reason to live. In recent years I have grown weary fighting. I am 26 yet my facial hair is gray, dark circles line my eyes and stress lies upon my back like a boulder. I have needed your help mentally and emotionally yet you abandoned me and dedicated all your energies to your dogs and your jobs. A simple "Be strong, I love you" in the mail every now and then would have helped. How can you claim to be distraught at losing a son you never write? A son who calls and calls every month yet you rarely answer your phone? A son you helped send to prison? A son you told federal agents needed to be locked up for life because in your selfish ways you'd rather I be locked up where you can control me rather than free and out of your life. I love you but you're a barrel of contradictions in what you say and what you do.

- Jeremy Pinson

Reply ID: cepp

Mom,

It's a pleasure to see you posting again. I'm sorry and shocked actually to read about Jason's troubles. As for my believing you were using trickery regarding mine and his sexuality, well, you rarely communicate with me and in the absence of information I am left to draw my own conclusions. If you don't voice your motives or intentions, it's easy for others to draw adverse conclusions.

As for me "hating" you. I don't hate you or anyone else - I don't even hate the prosecutor who sent me to prison. I resent some of the things you've done. I am disappointed in how little you write me. I am mad you don't set up collect calls on your phone so I can call more often. I am a bit disgusted at how inept you are at arranging a visit. But hate? No, I don't hate people. Not you, not anyone.

You, I, no one can change the past. If you want a better relationship with me, take an active role in my life. Get to know the real me, not just the me that exists in your head. Or you can continue to wallow in self-pity looking at the past. Either way I love you and will until the day you die whether you change or not.

- Jeremy Pinson
12/30/12