Monday January 14, 2012 5:48am. Just wrote a letter to an attorney over that crap that Barry v. Reddish and his low life criminal administration done to me. I very seriously doubt it'll do any good, our whole judicial system constitution included "SUCKS!" I get so damn discouraged thinking about America's sorry judicial system. That's the wrong thing to be thinking about this early. I got up at 3:50. My cell is cleaned. So now I'm going to write a letter or two and decide what to do next.

7:36am I got a letter written. I just am not feeling good. I'm so sick of this place. I'm sick of this life. I wish the son of a bitch would just end. How much longer must I endure this crap?! Twenty three years held in a cage with a death sentence hanging over my head. Oh well, no one ever said life is fair.

11:36am Ate about 30 minutes ago. I've been just messing around with a piece of art, sure wish I could get some paints. I'm going to send out and order a couple of drawing books. Someone asked if I wanted any books, and these books are 3 and 4 dollars, fairly cheap. That will give me some ideas for some other cards or pictures for my blog.

3:52pm Just been sitting here listening to music, working on a couple of art projects. I got two letters written and a card going out tonight, so I got a little something done today. Our floor sgt has then flu. I hope it doesn't start spreading back here 'cause if it does, I'm going to get it. I always catch anything like that, that's going around. And the sgt looks like he's about to die. I feel for him. He should have stayed at home. We've got some good floor sgt and cos down here. Unlike before when sorry ass unethical Reddish was running things. People get mad 'cause I show how I feel, well you would be mad too if you was handcuffed behind your back and your head slammed into a wall. And then you're chained up and punched by a bunch of cowards! All because I wrote about the DUI rumors, which I always stated Rumorville has it. True or not was irrelevant. Fact was staff spreading that rumor not only among themselves but throughout the inmate population was total disrespect. But it's no wonder, who can respect an unethical low life criminal who worked his way into position of warden solely based upon who his daddy was. People who want to see some fake ass con artist who manipulating people by always showing the pretty side, go find another blog. I'm going to be me. I'm not perpetrating a fraud with a Christian front I'm holier-than-thou bs. I am me. And I get mad, as all humans do. Don't like it - can't help it. I'm going to be me and express my thoughts.

5:25pm I've got a headache. I hope it's not what the sgt had. I hope it's just from drawing. I'm fixing to lay down and then watch some news and wait for the shower after which I'll go to sleep. Just another day on the row.

Tuesday January 12, 2013 5:04am Got up at 4am just finished cleaning everything up. Waiting on breakfast now. I've got a few letters to write I want to finish up this art project I was working on and mail it out tonight. I also need to work out.

10:02am Well I got one letter written, a card going to a pastor whose trying to convert me back to Christianity and I've been working on this art project that I want to get finished up today. I also drafted up a blog that I need to re-write later. It just amazes me how these people are, coming over to an inmate blog, spewing hatred, name-calling and wasting their valuable time, taking this very valuable time away from their family spending it on me and other prisoners. And they have - or should have productive lives. But there are a lot of mentally people here in America, and some people who feel so bad about themselves that the only way they can feel good, is by belittling others. That low self-esteem is the heart and soul of a bully. They hate what they see looking back at them in the mirror so much, that the only thing they can do to get away from their own self-loathing is to belittle others and make someone else feel worse than they do. That is the heart and soul of bullying.

12:42pm Just been working on this art project. Earlier I cleaned out my locker and then wrote Schneese a letter. They called recreation so everyone will be going out. Reddish is a jackass! If I had done that, fine, but this was a criminal act of reprisal because I didn't cower down to sorry bully ass. I got a letter from my dad last night, so I still need to write him, exercise and finish this piece of art.

2:29pm When they were pulling for recreation again the officer in the control room accidentally opened my cell door. This is the second time it's happened in two weeks. If an inmate is a true heightened security threat then that cell door should be secured with a lock and cable to protect staff. But all staff know this is a lot of Barry Reddish's crap, unethical criminal who made warden. I'll always remind people of that.

3:28pm Just finished up this piece of ary. It came out badass, so I've got my mail done. I didn't workout. I wish I would have got that in. Oh well! The guys should be coming back in any minute. The officer if currently opening the cell doors. Got to find something to do to pass another hour or two. After I ear, I'll lay down, listen to some music and go to sleep.

Wednesday January 16, 2013 5:02am Just sitting here waiting on breakfast. After I ate last night I layed down and listened to music until I feel asleep. I was asleep before 6pm. I woke up several times with this door being slammed. I got up at 9:30 for master count. I got one letter in. I took it off the door and went back to sleep. I've already got my cell cleaned, bed mad, etc. After breakfast I'm probably going to either start a letter or get into this piece of art I started yesterday.

9:28am Just finished eating a Ramen noodle soup. I was doing some art work, I also heard they're talking about getting some better Hobby Crafts on our approved list. I also heard that one of the guys that was involved in the helicopter escape is up front in medical. I had heard he had cancer, it's in his brain. They don't expect him to live much longer. He was a major player in putting that escape together. He wasn't the mastermind, that was another guy. That was 13 years that all that took place.

1:13pm Just sitting here passing time trying to figure out what to do next. I'm actually watching a program on PBS or listening to it, "Is the Bible True." Just something to listen to to get some insight in on how others think and argue their sides of it. There's nothing they can say to change my mind. Jesus would have to appear here in this cell for my faith to be restored. Earlier I was working on a piece of art. I really should workout.

3:43pm I just set up to exercise, then broke it all back down. I was listening to the Jeff Probst talk show, a guy pulled a prank over a lotto ticket and on his facebook people are leaving comments that are just totally inappropriate. I can't how people out there act. Well I'm waiting on dinner, showers and then I'm going to sleep. Hope to get some mail.

Thursday January 17, 2013 6:08am Just wrote a legal letter, someone sent me a note asking for my help. Did what I could, I'm just not trying to get out there fighting, 'cause I see how it is, there's no unity and I'm not getting hung out there by myself. Plus this administration doesn't have the corruption that Reddish's administration had. But this guy's having problems and, I did what he asked. I wrote his lawyer, and I'll send his daughter a card. I've been up since 3:30 I cleaned everything up. Now not sure what I'm going to do, no mail last night. Today I got 4 dongs to look forward to getting. Canteen should also be here. Last night, I had another dream about being executed. One of those crazy dreams, there was 3 of us being executed together in a gas chamber and it failed when we were in there so they took us all out, and we were back on the street running from them, hiding in some pipes, I believe sewage pipes. Crazy. I was also thinking about Tom laying on his deathbed up there in medical. I think I'd rather die back here in this cell. That infirmary is just not a good place. I don't like it. Can't stand it. It's really nasty. I'm trying to find out his status. A lot of the guys that I was on the wing with back in '94 have died from cancer. Dan, Bob, Al, Bruno, there's several others. I can't remember their names. A lot of guys know me, but I don't know them, my neighbour now. I lived on the floor above him back in the 90's played basketball with him, but didn't know his name or ever remember him. We were talking several weeks ago and he was telling me about people and basketball games we had. And I now remember him, but he didn't stand out. Tom stood out, not physically, he's 5'9" (?), but he was always running a con, which is how we met. We both got here in February 1991. Well I need to get to work.

9:24am I just finished cleaning my cell, again. They came by with cleaning supplies, so I threw a bunch of liquid soap, bleach etc. under the bed, and then scrubbed the floor. We got canteen at the same time. And this afternoon I'm supposed to go to the law library. They've blocked me in the past, not sure if they, or the sgt in the law library will do that anymore. Things have calmed down since Reddish has gone. I haven't been off this wing since Oct. except to see the institutional inspector, which was a damn joke.

3:00pm I got back from the law library without any incident. I seen the mp3-man, he's not coming down here today. He said he would be down here tomorrow. I've got to go next week to get my prozac back. And from there I hope to get back on track. Getting out of here today helped me out. I need to hit the yard next week as well. Right now I need to get back to a letter to my loving mother. I also need to finish up this essay "Your Better Than That" I want to get that in the mail tonight with this. Some of the guys are on the rec yard right now. I think only 3 went out it's raining. I would have gone out. The wind's blowing really hard, I can hear it sitting here.

5:06pm I fixed me a chili for dinner. They had a processed patty, and nasty crap on the tray. One of the guys here in going for neck surgery tomorrow, we were just talking about freedom, and the world that's going on out there. Some time being in here you forget what freedom really felt like. What it was all about. People take their freedom for granted, they don't realise how valuable it really is, they don't know what it feels like to lose it. Well I'm fixing to call it a day. Wash clothes wash up, lay back and listen to some music and call it a day. Hopefully tonight I'll get some mail. It was a productive day, with me finally getting out of this cell for a couple of hours. Hopefully next week I'll get to see the doctor and get the prozac started. Well - this is my world, and just another day in it.