It is Christmas Day there in the U.S. today (Boxing Day here) & my thoughts are with you. I was looking for a good news story to send you & this is the first one I came across and seems just perfect. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did...
Lessons Learned from Writing Love Letters to Strangers, by Hannah Brencher
I began leaving love letters all over New York City for strangers to find nearly two years ago.
Though the idea sounds romantic, it was really a way to forget about my own feelings of sadness and loneliness for a while and focus on others in the big city who may have been feeling as let down as me. Every morning since that first love letter, I've pinned my cursive to writing and mailing love letters to people all over the world, packed with words that hopefully will help, heal, and hold them during a tough time.
With every stroke of the pen and sealing of the envelope, I've gathered life lessons that I know will never leave me no matter where my letters go. We're braver than we give ourselves credit.
I used to think bravery always meant being strong, never shedding tears, being the one who could hold it all together even when everything seemed to be falling apart. We learn that from the very beginning;how to save face, how to rely on ourselves, how to always be stronger but never (ever) weaker. I received a letter request the other morning from a young woman in Israel. She felt ashamed, a bit cowardly and selfish, to be asking for a love letter for herself. Me? I thought it was the bravest act I've ever encountered.
It takes courage and strength to ask a stranger to write you a love letter, to admit you don't know the words to tell yourself to make things better. Courage is being willing to crumble sometimes, to bring someone else in, to ask for help, to admit that you are only human and actually do need others to grow stronger.
We're more alike than we are different.
I've never actually liked the statement "walk a mile in someone else's shoes.' It seems nearly impossible, and I'm learning more and more with life that it isn't always necessary. Most of the time, our stories are clearly different even though we carry the same kinds of feelings;sadness, loneliness, jealousy, hurt, happiness, and hope. We can relate better than we ever expect if only we open ourselves up to it. We don't need to shoulder the same struggle as someone else to show that person compassion or to be a bright spot in his day. We just need to care.
There's a fear: we won't say the right thing. We'll make matters worse. We better just say nothing at all because we really cannot even imagine what that person is going through. It's not true.
Even if we cannot seem to walk that mile in someone else's shoes, we are still capable of standing beside them to be a supporter until the day they learn to smile again.
FYI Angel did NOT commit suicide. I know this because her own mother called me and told me what happened. I do not know why you guys are saying she commited suicide. I can't see her mom lying to me about Angel's death. Leave the poor girl out of this and let her rest in peace!
Perhaps our mentality here in Australia is different to that of the USA. There, it is ok to lock up a child for the term of his natural life and institute terms such as ‘JLWOP’ or to send a man to death row, decide he’s a problem we choose not to deal with, so we’ll just kill him. We don’t have such sentencing options here in Australia and as a result, we take on more of a responsibility of providing rehabilitation (but much more work is required in this area). We impose less restrictions than the US upon parole and people have a better chance at finding a better life. We don’t seem to simply ‘give up’ on each other just because someone has done wrong. Just the other night there was a news story about the ‘Tribe of Judah’ which is a religious motorcycle group here. They were giving out Christmas hampers to people struggling to make ends meet at Christmas and reporters commented on how the organizer was an “ex-con”, a man who served time behind bars and is now doing all he can to help others. That is what I believe we are all capable of, and that is why I am here encouraging growth in people who in my opinion, are not disposable, but just as capable of great things as anyone else. You said (the children) need “love, nurturing, random acts of kindness”. I would suggest we all need those things, regardless of our age, and we are all capable of providing them to others. I don’t consider myself to be a “bleeding heart” as you do, but I believe we are ONE society, and should all look out for, take care of, and encourage one another, our societies will then not all descend into hatred and violence.
I find your questions of me very tiresome SAH, but perhaps by answering, Jeremy will learn more of my motivations for being here too. As I’m not sure I make much sense to him at times either.
I believe I do use my heart and soul to help those I believe never had a good chance at life, or at least a good beginning. I think I just have a different perspective on who those people include, and believe it 'excludes' none of us. I have looked at my areas of interest when working in criminal law previously and decided the greatest need for my charity is in our criminal justice system. From what I saw first hand, it is full of people living with mental health issues and the over-representation of our Indigenous population. This site is invaluable to hear the voices of those that I could not otherwise. The U.S. provides an extreme example to the rest of the civilized world, showing us all just how bad our justice systems could become if we don’t keep tabs on them and I am here to learn what issues prisoners face day to day as this will give me a more holistic understanding, to compliment my studies.
Here in Australia we don’t have such a thing as a ‘crisis nursery’ and our domestic violence resource centers are well staffed by professionals and well funded by our government so do not require the time of many volunteers. Our social structure is a lot stronger than that of the USA, we do have a foster care system but we do not have any orphanages and adoption is almost unheard of as our social security system gives parents the ability to care for their own children, even if they are not working. Our schools don’t even provide institutional breakfasts or lunches (unless you consider costly boarding schools), because that’s simply not needed here.
We do have many, many children’s charities and as Australian’s are such a charitable people, they too are well resourced and funded. Our prison populations however, are those that are forgotten, and are a responsibility of us all in my opinion. Just as we have a societal responsibility to take care of victims of domestic violence, and children less fortunate than our own, I believe we have a responsibility to take care of those who have done wrong. We have a responsibility to give them the help they need to be able to function in an acceptable way within our society.
tough chit, Clarke. you did the crime...NOW DO THE TIME. Who REALLY cares if you're comfortable, your legs ache, the 3 hots come late...WHO CARES? Save your stamps (we know your commissary acct 350 bucks)won't allow you to stamp. Guess no paints, either (lol). The free world here can see you AND your scams (see balance as of 12/12/2012.
ronald clarke NEVER speaks of his other homicide. Just the "injust" treatment he receives at his institution *he is on death row*. In all reality, he is GUILTY of at least two homicides and child abuse.
Oh, and I want to know what your fellow did to her. I want to know her last words. Did she say I love you mom? Grandma, HELP ME. I'm ripped up about those thoughts. I'd like to think she was not terrorized. My baby...being brutally murdered is NOT what I had planned for motherhood . You bet I'm angry. I'm fighting (not you) but the criminals who took her life. I HATE it that some of you guys post day after day (journals) of the poor treatment. Ronald Clarke, for instance, has 2 HOMICIDES. His other charges didn't even factor into his death sentence.
I've been in counseling and she keeps talking "CLOSURE". The only closure I'm going to get is when you tell me WHY and that you are sorry.
You may be able to bridge that for me. Please help me understand the WHY. Please have your other "inmates" weigh in. Tell me something that explains the loss of an innocent life. Tell me ANYTHING that helps.
Holidays? Hell no. Birthdays, Easter, XMas, Thanksgiving...all I want is a bottle of vodka and a mattress.
That is the honesty of crime. Please help me understand and not hate.
I'm going to snail you, Marcus. I have alot of questions and hope that you will tolerate my rant. I honestly feel like IF I could rid myself of the angst, the anger, the pain...I could be the person with empathy and compassion that I once was.
Merry XMas and Happy New Year.
I will ask you to share with other convicts and PLEASE give me some answers. The WHY is the most important one.
Thank you for your gracious reply. You know what? I'll take you up on your offer to be a "listening ear". Obviously I'm not doing well blogging here because there are SO MANY bleeding hearts who have never been victimized by crime. Just my opinion, this site should advocate for those who were just random victims as well as the criminals who committed the crime(s).
RSS
It is Christmas Day there in the U.S. today (Boxing Day here) & my thoughts are with you. I was looking for a good news story to send you & this is the first one I came across and seems just perfect. I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did...
Lessons Learned from Writing Love Letters to Strangers, by Hannah Brencher
I began leaving love letters all over New York City for strangers to find nearly two years ago.
Though the idea sounds romantic, it was really a way to forget about my own feelings of sadness and loneliness for a while and focus on others in the big city who may have been feeling as let down as me. Every morning since that first love letter, I've pinned my cursive to writing and mailing love letters to people all over the world, packed with words that hopefully will help, heal, and hold them during a tough time.
With every stroke of the pen and sealing of the envelope, I've gathered life lessons that I know will never leave me no matter where my letters go. We're braver than we give ourselves credit.
I used to think bravery always meant being strong, never shedding tears, being the one who could hold it all together even when everything seemed to be falling apart. We learn that from the very beginning;how to save face, how to rely on ourselves, how to always be stronger but never (ever) weaker.
I received a letter request the other morning from a young woman in Israel. She felt
ashamed, a bit cowardly and selfish, to be asking for a love letter for herself. Me? I thought it was the bravest act I've ever encountered.
It takes courage and strength to ask a stranger to write you a love letter, to admit you don't know the words to tell yourself to make things better. Courage is being willing to crumble sometimes, to bring someone else in, to ask for help, to admit that you are only human and actually do need others to grow stronger.
We're more alike than we are different.
I've never actually liked the statement "walk a mile in someone else's shoes.' It seems
nearly impossible, and I'm learning more and more with life that it isn't always necessary.
Most of the time, our stories are clearly different even though we carry the same kinds of feelings;sadness, loneliness, jealousy, hurt, happiness, and hope. We can relate better than we ever expect if only we open ourselves up to it. We don't need to shoulder the same struggle as someone else to show that person compassion or to be a bright spot in his day. We just need to care.
There's a fear: we won't say the right thing. We'll make matters worse. We better just say
nothing at all because we really cannot even imagine what that person is going through.
It's not true.
Even if we cannot seem to walk that mile in someone else's shoes, we are still capable of
standing beside them to be a supporter until the day they learn to smile again.
Small actions matter more than we know.
I believe I do use my heart and soul to help those I believe never had a good chance at life, or at least a good beginning. I think I just have a different perspective on who those people include, and believe it 'excludes' none of us. I have looked at my areas of interest when working in criminal law previously and decided the greatest need for my charity is in our criminal justice system. From what I saw first hand, it is full of people living with mental health issues and the over-representation of our Indigenous population. This site is invaluable to hear the voices of those that I could not otherwise. The U.S. provides an extreme example to the rest of the civilized world, showing us all just how bad our justice systems could become if we don’t keep tabs on them and I am here to learn what issues prisoners face day to day as this will give me a more holistic understanding, to compliment my studies.
Here in Australia we don’t have such a thing as a ‘crisis nursery’ and our domestic violence resource centers are well staffed by professionals and well funded by our government so do not require the time of many volunteers. Our social structure is a lot stronger than that of the USA, we do have a foster care system but we do not have any orphanages and adoption is almost unheard of as our social security system gives parents the ability to care for their own children, even if they are not working. Our schools don’t even provide institutional breakfasts or lunches (unless you consider costly boarding schools), because that’s simply not needed here.
We do have many, many children’s charities and as Australian’s are such a charitable people, they too are well resourced and funded. Our prison populations however, are those that are forgotten, and are a responsibility of us all in my opinion. Just as we have a societal responsibility to take care of victims of domestic violence, and children less fortunate than our own, I believe we have a responsibility to take care of those who have done wrong. We have a responsibility to give them the help they need to be able to function in an acceptable way within our society.
merry fawking xmas
You may be able to bridge that for me. Please help me understand the WHY. Please have your other "inmates" weigh in. Tell me something that explains the loss of an innocent life. Tell me ANYTHING that helps.
Holidays? Hell no. Birthdays, Easter, XMas, Thanksgiving...all I want is a bottle of vodka and a mattress.
That is the honesty of crime. Please help me understand and not hate.
Merry XMas and Happy New Year.
I will ask you to share with other convicts and PLEASE give me some answers. The WHY is the most important one.
Thank You.
SAH
I wish you a very heartfelt XMas holiday, Marcus.