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 Why Did I Do It? (March 13, 2013) |
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Reply ID wa3r
Given the comment of Goldfish1071, it appears that BtB staff failed to scan in the 3rd/last page of this post, #127 'Why I Did It,' so I'll rewrite it below.
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stills fails to see the dishonour in that (we've occasionally written each other - his last letter to me sought legal help in overturning his restituion order, 117,000 - some dollars for the burning of Mr. Harmacek's house), we're not "brothers." He's requested to be separate from me.
Before we went to Mr. Harmacek's house, Josh and I watched A Time to Kill, ironically. It's a movie where a Black man kills two stereotypical White-trash southerners who raped his daughter, more propaganda than realistic. But it steeled us to kill Mr. Harmacek. I do not say this with glee, but, simply put, we executed him. And I am sure he felt nothing.
I am sincerely sorry for the suffering of his loved ones and the hurt of the innocents in the community hurt by what we did. They didn't deserve that, nor did Mr. Harmacek. Had I found child porn, I would not feel any pity for him, just for his lovers, who would still be innocents. But, really, what does such an apology count for? It won't bring back the dead. It makes nothing right. Maybe it allows some to learn and move on, but I doubt even that.
Sorry, this isn't something that says I accept mistreatment by prison staff as my due, nor is it a declaration that I will live a law-abiding life from now on. Nor am I saying I am a criminal for life. That just explains, briefly, why I killed Mr. Harmacek. I wish I hadn't.
C'est la morte.
Nate
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