Transcription
August 22, 11
Rhonda Lindial
1401 State School
Gatesville, TX 76599
When I have nightmares of him. He was a sociopath, neither logic or ordinary emotions served as a foundation for his actions. Power and the pleasure he got from exerting it over others, drugs and alcohol, were his motivations. On these nights, I woke up with a sense of loss so terrible that I would prefer not to ever wake again. But I do breathe and I go on. It's what my sons would want me to do. Would expect me to do. I have destiny that I must earn.
Precisely. I am just another blind human. I do not get the whole picture of what transpires; I am blind and limited. I can only try to be responsible with the knowledge, the strength, the time given to me, I must be true to my heart. My choices are measured against my own soul. Lost, shut off from everything and everyone I love, and trying not to feel.
Most people live in a black and white world, all or nothing, while in here, you must face a sea of grays as a streak of pure, cold survival runs up your spine every day. It is NEVER easy to know the real paths in such a place. You must trust your heart.
I'm a decent person in a bad situation. I believe God lives in such hearts. I need help. I need for just one person to hear me and understand. It was self-defense. He was trying to kill me. Why doesn't this matter to the state of Texas?
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