Do as thou wilt shall be the whole of the law.

Evolution loves death more than it loves you or me...
...We are moral creatures, then, in an amoral world. The f-king universe that suckled us is a monster that does not care if we live or die - does not care if it itself grinds to a halt! So f-king be it!

Familiarity breeds hate... hate in itself breeds violence... yet violence often times soothes!
Coyote 3:16 8/22/2013

9/8/2013: Been several weeks since my last entry and it's been one long and eventful time, I must say. The above piece was given to me by an old head whom I associate with on a regular basis; He's actually one of only about (7) people that I do actually enjoy being around and conversing with; trustworthy and solid as they come. All this said, this little note of philosophical insight I find quite enlightening and filled with humbling truth.

About (3) weeks ago I was able to speak in person (by phone) with Sarah (Aglaia) for the first time since 2002! WOW! To hear her voice and laughter was so emotional and uplifting.

Sarah is the daughter of my first wife; I met her (Sarah) a few months after she was born in (1982); her mother brought her with her on a visit and this little infant grabbed my finger and wouldn't let go for anything; her large blue eyes and thousand watt smile captured my heart and has kept it in her hands ever since; that was 31 yrs ago now. Her mother and I were married; and eventually I came to prison and we were divorced; but she always made sure that our daughter; and my step-children was able to see me whenever possible, and that all avenues of correspondence was kept open for us. I was quite fortunate in this area. And over the years Sarah became as close as my own (blood); she became my daughter in heart, and my best friend. She's so special and precious to me - her and her baby sister (my baby daughter); have been my strength, courage and hope to carry on and survive these last (28) yrs.

So having the chance to hear her voice was quite exhilarating and awesome! Heck, I called her like (3x) within two weeks.

Even though prison is filled with dark and malevolent hate, anger and violence - I am often blessed with minute rays of sunshine carrying megatons of love, hope and inspiration. No matter how dark or hopeless it may seem, I know that there's several rays of sunshine reaching out to lead me through. My daughters (Christen and Sarah); my beloved mother; my beloved and precious Zahra.

Here's a couple of poems - OR attempts at it. :)

"Who You Are"

Got me locked away inside this cold prison cell; want
Me to taste your wrath - succumb to your psychological hell -
I know your dark desire to wipe me from life's troubling
Path.

Within this darkened tomb - surrounded by walking dead,
Enslaved within your demonic womb, daily I fight to
Keep you out of my head. The sun at last rises; Once
More I've survived the dread.

Every day you feed me your lies, sweet sounding rhetoric -
Delusional lullabies. In your dark heart you want to be
God for a day. The master manipulator, somehow,
Some way.

Yeah, I've bloodied my hands by my own deeds, then
Again so are yours by evil and dark misdeeds. The public
Misled by the evil that your hearts enclose - torture and
Oppression are all you impose.

I know who you are, I've seen through your facade, your
Evil hearts, black as tar - Satan's demonic squad;
Puppets on a string, someone else's plastic pawns -
That's who you are.

David "S [ankh] X" Bauguess (1/13/2011)

"Where Shall I Go?"

Trapped in the midst of madness, surrounded by ever
Suffocating darkness. Nothing before nor behind me can
I see; above nor below as I sail upon life's chaotic sea.

Where shall I go from here?

Let me build a boat of silence, no sounds to hear -
That I might sail across celestial shores upon an angel's
Healing tear.

Let me learn to shatter this cocoon; and spread wide
Soft, but powerful wings. Beneath a luminous, silvery
Moon - Heaven's majestic choir loudly sings.

Dive within where all becomes clear.

David "S [ankh] X" Bauguess
(6/16/2010)