Nov. 3, 2013

Highjinks: It's Been Awhile (But I'm Back)

by Daniel Baker (author's profile)

Transcription

HIGHJINKS

It's been awhile, but I'm back.

Hey! Miss me?

A lot has happened and changed since I was here last. But, before I get to any of that on my check list...

I wanna say "Thank you!" to everyone who visits me here. Extra thanks to those who leave notes and F.Y.I. it makes me happy to know you are entertained by my life and how I've chosen to share it...

So, I recently saw a new dog breed... a charpoon. (Shar-Poon).

1/2 coondog and 1/2 Sharpie or however you spell that fat, wrinkly dog's name.

Well, that's what I call it... It's cute whatever it is.

My allergies have been so horrible.

Lately I feel dead all the time.

You know the feeling.

No relief at all.

AAA-CHEW.

Crys? Where are you hiding?

I can't find you anywhere...

I'm lost and can't find my way without you...

Woah! Who's that hot mama?

Oh there you are.

D! You just stop that! You - you shut the f#$k up right now!

Stop looking at her! Oooh, yer gonna get it!

WOOOO HOOO

Get ready, boogerface.

Awe, shit! Here comes the pain!

[sound effects: WHOOSH. OOMPF.]

POP!

I'm a beautiful princess and you're my knight. I'm the only woman for you and don't forget it! Know what I mean, D?

I get it, I get it!

You better get it or you're gonna GET it!

Love ya, buddy.

THE END

No, seriously, though.

I got in trouble the other day. Sometimes I draw mean pictures of people for my own amusement.

Whater you dooin', boy?

Drawing something.

[Oh shit]

Is that a picture of me? That's just not funny.

*GHASP*

Busted!

The next day I found myself before the adjustment officer who reviews rule infraction reports.

Oh no!

Now, you all should know, I am a compulsive smart ass. I just can't stop myself from jumping through every door of opportunity to turn anything someone says into a joke.

Did you draw this?

Yes, I did.

And I'd gotten away with it too, if it weren't for you meddling cops and that damn dog Scooby-Doo!

They didn't find that as funny as I did.

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Replies (3) Replies feed

RonaGal Posted 11 years, 1 month ago. ✓ Mailed 11 years, 1 month ago   Favorite
You made my day with this. I love your sense of humor.

Daniel Baker Posted 10 years, 11 months ago.   Favorite
(scanned reply – view as blog post)

SunnyBear Posted 10 years, 11 months ago. ✓ Mailed 10 years, 11 months ago   Favorite
Brother,
it has been a lil bit since i heard from you.. got your letter finally today.. thought i was gonna have to call and get ugly with some people and find out where you were and what was going on.. things here are still crappy.. i am trying to save money to move or get my own plce in a town nearby.. and i am two steps forward and one step back.. driving me nuts.. just when i think i am getting somewhere i get kicked down again.. the car needs work.. i have an unexpected bill from mom that shows up.. going to see all the drs.. i had a little money saved and the day i was gonna put it on the phone for you, the battery died and i had to put oil in the car(oil is not cheap here).. now i am trying to get the money to get the windshield wipers and muffler fixed.. i want to trade the car in on a small truck but cant afford car payments right now.. i will look around and see what i can find tho. maybe i can find a nice truck for a decent price and get a good amount as trade in for the car.. a truck would be more handy then the car is.. i would likely get the same gas mileage but i would be able to put a hitch on it and tow things.. that would be the best.. i loved the cartoon this time.. i was rolling laughing.. i read it to my friend Rita who i was talking to on the phone.. she was laughing so hard she started choking on her drink.. she said.. you are a funny man... lol.. well little brother i have a ton of things to do.. i will write again soon..
from one bear to another..
SunningBear

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