April 29, 2014: 7:00am: Listening to: "Believe" By: The Letter Black.
Every morning when I get up I turn on CNN for a few minutes. I catch the headlines of
the biggest news stories, check out Robin Meade and then turn on my music. Today I see
a story of a 14 year old boy who went and beat an 80 something year old woman to death.
Crimes like this I just could never understand. First, I could never hit anyone who is
elderly. It would be like hitting my own Nonna (Grandmom). I was a bully when I was a
kid. But I also ran into my own share of bullies who were bigger than me. I was a really
smart kid but I wasn't a good kid. I honestly don't know why this 14 year old kid would
do this. Here in PA, on the opposite side of the state where I'm from, a kid in a nice
area went on a stabbing spree. He stabbed over 20 people in his high school. Now I have
no clue why he would want to do this. But it's clear that these children have big problems.
Mat Vail recently left me a comment on my blog page and asked me why a man named Eric Motis
killed his next door neighbors. And I have no idea. You have to have a serious mental
defect to go and kill people who have done nothing wrong to you. I can understand killing
out of anger, fear, hatred, jealousy, but for no reason, I just don't see it. I asked and
met a few people who have been here for over 30 years and they knew Eric Motis. I was told
Eric Motis was very smart, very quiet and very fragile. I was told he was bullied here and
there were whispers of him being sexually assaulted in here a few times. When his appeals
were all denied, he went to his cell and took his own life. He hung himself. So if you are
reading this Mat, that is all I was able to find out. I don't understand senseless murders.
Murder itself is hard to understand but sometimes, in some situations, you can understand.
I've seen my share of lifetime movies that are true stories and there are men, women, and
teenage kids who have murdered people for reasons that just aren't good enough. Let me re-
phrase that, no reason is good enough but sometimes you can understand. Anyone from
Philadelphia would have seen this news story. I forget the name of the family, A husband
and wife and their 2 sons, 1 a baby, the other a toddler. The toddler gets sick, the parents
don't take him to the doctor. They believe in the power of prayer. So they prayed for him.
Well he died. They were arrested, went to court, and given probation for letting their son
die. He could have lived if they would have taken him to the doctors. That was a few years
ago. Then last year their other son got sick. They are still on probation for the death of
their first son. And what do they do, they pray once again. And the 2nd son dies also. I wish
i would have saved this newspaper article from the philly daily newspaper. So can anyone guess
what they got for allowing their 2nd son to die in front of them? More probation. Are you
fucking serious? more probation. You are a 2 time child killer and you get off with a slap
on the wrist. I wish I knew the name of the disgrace of a judge who did this. But i see these
2 little boys faces in the newspaper and my heart breaks. I see another judge in philly gave
a man a small prison sentence for punching and infant to death. He balled up his fist and punched
an infant more than a dozen times until that baby was dead. He said the baby would stop crying
and he wanted to sleep. He got a few years in prison. I'm angry. I was attacked by another
man, in my own bedroom. And for those of you who don't know, I'm 5'9" 165 LBS. He was well
over 6 foot 350+ LBS. and i get a life sentence. My work boss and his concocted a story together
and told the police that I called them and told them I was going to kill him before it happened.
They also said that I had been at their house all day that day using drugs and drinking. But the
problem with that is this, that same night, at 6:00pm, I meet my parole officer at the urine center
and gave him a urine test that was clean. It's part of being on parole. I didn't use drugs, I've
seen to many people die from drugs, and I don't like alcohol at all. So I thought that since I
proved that they were lying about me using drugs and drinking just hours before my urine test, that
everyone would know they are liars out to save their own skin. My boss Tom, he had so many warrants
out for his arrest and for testify against me, they were all taken care of by the DA's office. I
don't want to confuse anyone, I did take his life, but it was not intentional, nor was it planned
or even considered. In my 21 years of life, this was the first time I had ever known happiness. My
Justine was an amazing woman. I had never known happiness until her. Enough talk of death. Lets talk
of life. Tanya wrote to me. Tanya is my daughters social worker from Children and Family services and
my brother recently told me he loves how great Tanya is. So I'm very happy to hear that. My daughter
is doing very well, and she is improving. Some time in June, Krista will be placed in a new foster home
and she is very excited about this. Sure she wants to be with her family but that's not an option. I
have new photo's of her from when my mom and brother got to meet my daughter and spend the day with her.
It's not often that one cries and smiles at the same time, but seeing those photo's of my little girl
smiling ear to ear with her uncle and grandmom, it is so wonderful but also breaks my heart. No matter
how bad a kid might be or seem, they are kids, they can be saved, redeemed. They do not have to be lost
in this system, forgotten, left to rot for the rest of their lives. Well I've rambled long enough for
today. As i sign off for today, I thank you for reading and I hope to hear from you's. Take care, and
God Bless. Ciao.
not an option
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