Dear Childeric,
You were very close.... Alexia Jordyn's birthday is actually June 4, 2000 and yes she is 14 now. She has never been told anything bad about you. I promise. Do not make me out to be someone that is bad. I would never say anything to hurt her ever and do not want her to think she has a bad dad. I have been very honest with her as much as possible. I did have to be honest with her and tell her about the crime you are incarcerated for and tried to make it be as positive as possible. I told her the truth about that as much as I could. I am always honest with her.
I do have to tell you that your poem is absolutely beautiful and it actually almost brought tears to my eyes because it is so beautiful! I know you love her and I have told her that. To be honest I have not yet showed her anything you have sent her from the past. I haven't done it yet. I have told her that we would visit you and I would let her meet you when she was 18. I don't want anything to affect her at this time in anyway negatively. I am not saying that you are a bad person, but to have a father in prison is a difficult thing.
She is an absolutely beautiful beautiful girl!!!! Really she is gorgeous!!!! She is tall like you and I am not sure if she is done growing yet. She is 5'8 or around there. I am not sure of her exact height. She has long black beautiful spiral hair and big brown eyes and a big beautiful smile and perfect teeth. She looks like both of us. I can see you in her... I really saw you in her more when she was younger. Her brother who is now 20 thinks and says she looks like me and also him. Some of her friends say she doesn't look black but looks Spanish or something??? Not sure why exactly..... her skin is a beautiful beautiful golden brown color. Like I told you she is gorgeous and only gets more and more beautiful as time goes on.
Alexia is very smart (at this time she knows she will go to college and is thinking of doing something in medicine)..... I have told her that her dad is smart.... and you are. I told her that I thought her dad was very intelligent and you are.
She is a freshman in HS and is in the Marching Band at school and loves that. She plays the French horn and is quite good at it, of course. She is also in Show Choir where she sings and dances and performs. She did play tennis in Middle School and tried it in HS but didn't like it this year and quit it. She is looking forward to basketball and will try that this year as well. She was in track in the MS mostly throwing shot put and throwing discus. She thinks she wants to try soccer this spring instead of track, but we will see as she hasn't played soccer for so long.

Sue

I am a born again Christian as are my two oldest children. God has changed us and put so much love and joy in our heart that can only come from the Lord and the Holy Spirit. God is doing such amazing things in all of our lives.
My oldest son wants to be a Pastor. He just returned from a Mission trip from Haiti and told me stories about his journey in Haiti and how the Haitian people are so loving and full of God's love and they have so much faith. The stories of what he saw there just touched my heart and spirit and it made me cry. I think hearing so much about Haiti made me think of you and saddens my heart...maybe about how hard your life must have been there and about now what has become of your life.
God put it in my heart to think of you and to look you up. I was thinking of trying to get in touch with you a while back because Alexia has been asking about you some and also would really and mostly like to know more about her relatives on your side of the family. She wants to know if she has cousins and uncles and aunts and grandparents and I would like to know if it would be possible to get in contact with any of them. I want to let her know your side of the family. I know that would be good for her!!! Could you please somehow give me that information for her???? That would be great for her!!!!
God put it in my heart and basically told me to contact you.... when God tells you to do something... you must obey Him and I did.
After reading this touching poem, I had to reply to it here. So that is why I replied here. I don't know how to get in contact with you so you could send me information about your relatives so I could contact them for Alexia. With God's will and grace and perfect timing He will let me know in my heart when I should let Alexia have contact with you. She is doing so well and is happy in her life and at school I do not want to disturb any of it. I don't want it to be confusing for her etc. But like I said somehow when she is 18 years old... an adult... we will figure out a way to visit you so she can meet you. I have always planned on that and was always going to let her meet you, but wanted her to be old enough and mature enough to go to a prison etc.
Sue

By the way, my health is perfect. I think you know I was ill for a while, but God has saved my life and healed me. God is so good!!!!
Some day I will try to send you a picture to show you how beautiful she is. Please do not try to contact her!!!! It will not be good for her yet. I do not want her to hear the stories of how you are innocent and I do not want to hear of it either. Everyone in prison says they are innocent. You did do the crime you are incarcerated for. You should admit to it. I will be honest and think you definitely got too long of a sentence, however. It is too long for the crime. So I do not understand that, but you did do the crime. You made a mistake. I forgive you for that and God forgives you. Forgive yourself and be honest with yourself and everyone else about it. You should not have gotten such a long sentence though!!! That was wrong of them..... God knows the truth and there must be a reason for it. Just trust in the Lord and have faith in Jesus Christ and just like all of us Christians who believe you someday will be in the Kingdom of God. We are all only here on this earth for really only a short mist of time and then we will be in Heaven for eternity. Even though you are in prison you can still be good and follow God's commandments and serve the Lord because one day you will have to answer to God, when the time comes and you meet Him in Heaven. Pray and be a disciple of the Lord while you are in Prison.... serve Him and good things will come to you!!!! I do think Alexia does love who her dad is and someday she will meet you. Also, soon I will show her the things you sent her. I have saved them and God will put it in my heart when the time is right. I will show her everything then. I will pray about this poem and I may show her. I am afraid it might make her sad though...... so I am not sure. Just remember though....she doesn't have to search for you. She knows where you are.... she knows you as much as she can. She knows you are her Dad. So sorry you made a mistake, but we forgive you. Just forgive yourself and love the Lord and all will be well. I wish you joy in your heart and good health so you can someday meet your beautiful daughter.
Blessings to you always, Sue

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Childeric,

I tried to write to you but somehow you write strangely. You write so many words but say nothing and nothing logically. You do not write like a normal person. I do not understand what is wrong with you. You say so many things that aren't true. You said something about "I snapped." You cast blame on everyone else but yourself!!! This is why it is infuriating to write to you or hear from you because you are so strange. I don't know if it is because you came from Haiti and something bad happened to you there or what but you are not normal. I am so sorry for Alexia for that. Your strangeness and blaming personality and inability to just write a normal letter is why I stopped contact with you years ago. Stop blaming everyone else for everything!!!! YOU have not seen my daughter because you decided to commit a horrific crime!!!!!!Throughout her 14 years I would have had contact with you if you spoke like a normal person but you don't. I guess I know why they gave you such a long sentence now because you committed a horrible crime and your attitude shows no remorse but blame on everyone else! You did it!! They found you in the house!!! People laugh when I tell them how you say you are innocent when you were found in the house!!!! God also forgives those who admit they were wrong!! You have to repent and will be forgiven!!! He cannot and will not forgive unless you repent. You do what you want to but I cant let you have contact with Alexia because I am a great mother!!!!! I love her so much I am protecting her from you. You are infuriating to talk to because you are so strange. Ugh!!! I gave you a chance again, but you write words but say nothing a normal person would say!!!! Don't ever tell me I snapped again. You did bad things!!!! YOU DID BAD THINGS!!! You are a sociopath with no conscience and no memory of bad things you did!!!! This is why there will be no correspondence again because you are strange. I am protecting her from you and who her father is. To know you would make her think less of herself!!! You would no way ever help her to be a great person!!!! I have helped mold her into the amazing beautiful girl she is!!!! You are nothing but sperm!!!! Nothing more than that!!! Remember that. That is a father! You chose to commit a crime! You chose to be away from her!!! I cannot give you my address because I am afraid of you and who you still know in La Crosse and maybe you would give out my address. I can't let you send me anything. I do not trust you to have any contact with us. You are too infuriating and say wrong things! So I guess you say I snapped so go ahead and just say I snapped again because I cannot speak to you. There is something wrong with you. I will bring Alexia to the Prison possibly someday when or after she is 18 but now hearing or reading your words again I am reminded why I stopped and protected myself and her from your strangeness and

I would still like to have names of your relatives as they are hers. I would only do this if I make a new email account that has only correspondence in it from you. If you get strange I will quit that correspondence as well. I need to protect ourselves from you. No I do not trust you. I believe I had a good heart to try again with you and tried to talk to you. I would have even been your friend but you say such strange abnormal things. That is why I did not give her the things you sent. They were so strange... the words are not normal. Until you can speak like other people I cannot let her know you yet.

Quit talking about us....there is no us or never was an us! I don't care about you or need you for any reason. I talked to you about Alexia but you didn't even ask about her!!! You talked about me!!! Stop it! You truly are a sociopath. If you are not show me how you are not by writing like you are not!!!! I am not going to even take up any of my time to talk about the past with you because you will never get it. I told you when you speak to my daughter I do not want you to talk about the past in anyway!!!! This is today!!!! You could meet her and talk about today and the feelings you have today not about anything from the past!

I wrote to you about Alexia not about me. You didn't even ask about Alexia!!!! Nothing! You just want someone to correspond with from prison. You act like someone else took away your rights to be a father. Don't you understand that you did that.... you committed a serious crime that put you away for 40 years! I DID NOT MAKE YOU DO IT!
Now I understand why I was suppose to write to you... so I would remember why I have protected Alexia from you for all of these years! I was right to do so!
When I knew you I was very sick and had no good judgment in character.... like yours!!! Today I would never even speak to a person like you!!! I am doing great and would never make the mistakes I made when I knew you years ago!!!! Anyway God wanted me to have Alexia and I am so blessed by her and to be her mother! Being a father is more than having sex. You are not her father.....only sperm! There was no money from you or anything. It was not possible from you! So stop acting like I should give you any rights to see her!!! Are you going to pay for me drive to that prison wherever you are????? No! So stop it!!! Be kind! Somehow learn to!!! Stop demanding and writing like I have done something wrong!!! I haven't but have only been a great mother to her and loved her beyond words and helped her to be an amazing young lady!! I have given her everything I could and taught her how to be a good person. I am so blessed that we didn't have to worry about you as she was growing up. I always believe IT IS BETTER TO HAVE NO DAD THEN IT IS TO HAVE A BAD DAD!!!!! and that would have been you..... Praise God! When you write to me stop giving scriptures... I read the bible I don't need to hear it from you!!!!
Alexia barely asks about you..... maybe two or three times in her whole life!!! So don't act like she is always asking about you! She is not! Her life is good!
Even though this letter is not nice I have to be honest to you. Have someone teach you how to write like a nice person and maybe we could learn to speak and I would let Lexie read what you write!! I know I am not nice to you, but you are no good. Even so.... this is about Alexia nd if you care about her at all you would still give us the names and numbers of her relatives. That is what she needs and wants the most in her life. She would like to know about them. I want to do this for her. No it would be bad to write personal info. on here.

I do not want any other correspondence or writing from you other than the information to help Alexia. This is about her (not about me) and what would be good for her and that is to have contact with her other relatives. I don't want to give you my address, but if I have to for the addresses of her relatives I will..... for her because I love her so much!!!! I will write to you with my address. Please send me all of her relatives names and nature of relation and telephone numbers and addresses. I would appreciate that, but much more importantly my daughter Alexia would!!!!!! It would help her so much!!! Please do this kind thing.
Remember this is not about us in anyway but is about Alexia my beautiful precious gorgeous daughter that your side of the family would be so happy, proud and privileged to know!!!!! This is something nice we can do for her and also for the rest of your family!! Let's do it!!! I will write you with my address as soon as possible.

Sue

I am afraid to send you a letter with my address because of what you could do. Plus, I don't want you to write to me, but only ONE TIME. Please write only one time with the information of her relatives... names, addresses and telephone numbers. Please send the information that Alexia requested. This is what she requested...not me. Do this for Alexia. I need you to tell me you will do this before I write to you. Do not quote the bible. Do not lecture me.... you make no sense to me. Just be nice to Alexia and learn from others how to write like a normal person. Ask for help from someone kind and normal.

Another way you could do this and could have done this for years is to give the information to your relatives. This has nothing to do with you or I. It doesn't matter that we don't have a relationship.
In fact we never did. Do not use that as an excuse.
You can give your family my information without me writing to you. They can find me. I give you permission to give your relatives that information. This way I can keep my family safe without prison or others in La Crosse you may know finding me. I do not associate with anyone like that anymore and never ever will. I keep us safe only knowing good people and your friends are not good.

I just recently read something you wrote about your case. You mentioned my name in it (stop giving out my name with anything that has to do with your case or YOU) and made lies about me and the case. You said you were once given physical placement of Alexia while you were in jail. Are you kidding???? First of all nothing ever went to court regarding her. As her mother I ALWAYS HAD CUSTODY OF MY CHILD!!!!! Stop these lies!!! So many lies. You write crazy ridiculous things. I thought you only got 40 years.... did you really get 60????? Just wondering but don't write back. I can't take the lies or any correspondence with you. You lie too much and you are not good for me. I try to keep positive honest people in my life.... only honest good people. Sorry I am done again!!!!!!!! with you. I tried, but the lies.... too many!!!! I don't have time or the mental energy to talk with you about it. It is a waste of my time because you will never get it!!!!! Rereading some of the things you wrote are so not good for me. I stay away from those bad terrible memories of the past and sorry to say you were and are part of my bad memories.... Good by. Sorry but I tried.

The only way you will be forgiven for your sins for what you did to that poor man and his wife in French Island is to repent and ask God for forgiveness and admit your sins. You have no remorse for that and you still think you were this wonderful man when you were with me and you were not. I did not snap. Stop saying that!!! Never say that again. You are wrong. You think you are such a better person than you really are! You committed other crimes before the one that put you in prison for 40 years.

I wanted to and had to stop seeing you because something... it must have been God told me to. He knew you were a bad and dangerous man and abnormal and I needed to stay away from you!!! I have always had custody of all three of my children!!! You do not know one thing about my life so do not pretend you do! You will never know anything about my life! I think you are a dangerous human being and I will not ever trust you! I have trusted many people and not all people are good. We also have to be smart and listen to our heart and God. There are some evil people in the world led by the enemy. I believe you are one of them and you will never change my mind of that. Alexia rarely asks about you. In her entire long life she has asked about you two or three times. THINK ABOUT THAT. That is not much!!!!! She has a great life without you and from not knowing you with your strange letters you write and from never going to the awful place of a prison!!!!!

I believe He did put you in prison for a reason. The reason was to protect ALexia and I from you so we would be safe from you and we didn't have to deal with you. I got to raise Alexia by myself to be the wonderful young lady that she is without you. I know with you around she would not have turned out as well. Physical attributes.... duh! You have contributed nothing
else so stop thinking that makes you a father!!
There is something wrong with you. Something happened to you when you were living in Haiti and and how it must have taught you to survive there. I understand that and forgive you for that! It must have been hard to live there. You were never a kind and good man.

I just didn't like you. I did not snap!!! Stop saying that!!! I just stopped liking you and never actually liked you and wanted nothing to do with you ever!!!! God finally put some sense into me to realize how different we really are. I needed to escape you and get away from danger! You! God protected me at that point on!! As soon as I left you... God protected me and MY CHILD and CHILDREN from you!!!! He is so good and knows what is best for me and us. I left you for a great reason. Survival! I DID NOT SNAP!!!!

Since you will not ask for forgiveness from God you will never be forgiven and until the day you ask for forgiveness I will not feel safe to have anything to do with you. Maybe Alexia will never see you either!!! I want her to be mentally healthy. I don't think it will be good for her to go to that prison and ever see you!!!! Not right now!!! or in the near future!!!

I would like for her to meet her other relatives and cousins, however. I will not give you my address or telephone number however. We could get a safe third party to help us with that if you really do care about Alexia. I could find a social worker to be a third party for you to mail information about her other biological relatives. Let us see if you are telling us the truth. I will not ever give you any of our personal information!!!! I do not want to be your outside contact with the world. God is telling me that it is not a good idea!!!! Do not be upset with me as it is God protecting me once again!!!! As you say.... only He knows and I know from His voice and wisdom and compassion and love telling me what to do. Will you agree to having a third party (a safe social worker at the county) be a part of the way to get ALexia information about her other biological family???? I will get that started if and only if you agree to do that!!! If you truly love Alexia you will do that for her and I will know that this is not a ploy to just have contact with the outside world away from the prison! I am trying to do this only for my Alexia. Please do not write anything else that is strange but just give me information that you will be willing to deal with a third party to give information about your family and they do want to contact Alexia. Thank you!

I believe He did put you in prison for a reason. The reason was to protect ALexia and I from you so we would be safe from you and we didn't have to deal with you. I got to raise Alexia by myself to be the wonderful young lady that she is without you. I know with you around she would not have turned out as well. Physical attributes.... duh! You have contributed nothing
else so stop thinking that makes you a father!!
There is something wrong with you. Something happened to you when you were living in Haiti and and how it must have taught you to survive there. I understand that and forgive you for that! It must have been hard to live there. You were never a kind and good man.

I just didn't like you. I did not snap!!! Stop saying that!!! I just stopped liking you and never actually liked you and wanted nothing to do with you ever!!!! God finally put some sense into me to realize how different we really are. I needed to escape you and get away from danger! You! God protected me at that point on!! As soon as I left you... God protected me and MY CHILD and CHILDREN from you!!!! He is so good and knows what is best for me and us. I left you for a great reason. Survival! I DID NOT SNAP!!!!

Since you will not ask for forgiveness from God you will never be forgiven and until the day you ask for forgiveness I will not feel safe to have anything to do with you. Maybe Alexia will never see you either!!! I want her to be mentally healthy. I don't think it will be good for her to go to that prison and ever see you!!!! Not right now!!! or in the near future!!!

I would like for her to meet her other relatives and cousins, however. I will not give you my address or telephone number however. We could get a safe third party to help us with that if you really do care about Alexia. I could find a social worker to be a third party for you to mail information about her other biological relatives. Let us see if you are telling us the truth. I will not ever give you any of our personal information!!!! I do not want to be your outside contact with the world. God is telling me that it is not a good idea!!!! Do not be upset with me as it is God protecting me once again!!!! As you say.... only He knows and I know from His voice and wisdom and compassion and love telling me what to do. Will you agree to having a third party (a safe social worker at the county) be a part of the way to get ALexia information about her other biological family???? I will get that started if and only if you agree to do that!!! If you truly love Alexia you will do that for her and I will know that this is not a ploy to just have contact with the outside world away from the prison! I am trying to do this only for my Alexia. Please do not write anything else that is strange but just give me information that you will be willing to deal with a third party to give information about your family and they do want to contact Alexia. Thank you!

God has saved my life for sure!!! I am so blessed to have a beautiful life! I praise God for that. I have to praise God for the fact that you are not in my life. He has saved me and Alexia from having to deal with your odd ways as well. His plan was to protect us from you!!! He has a plan and a purpose for everything! I am so at peace with that and I am so at peace with the fact that you are in prison to protect us from you!!!! Many people have said that to me! Thank you God for saving our lives and protecting us from the enemy and his evil ways.

Your purpose in life is to be in prison. You need to come to peace with that. Maybe you can do something good in prison and to serve the Lord in prison. Your life has nothing to do with us!!!! I gave birth to my child. She is like she is adopted. You are not her dad or even a father. You were like a sperm donor. Leave it at that. Stop thinking you will ever have a relationship with my beautiful child. You wrecked any relationship you could have ever had by committing a felony that you will never admit to or ask for forgiveness for or have remorse for!

Quit quoting the bible!!! I can read the bible myself. Just because you try to quote the scriptures does not make you a christian. Even if your family are great people you did not turn out well for whatever reason.

God has saved my life for sure!!! I am so blessed to have a beautiful life! I praise God for that. I have to praise God for the fact that you are not in my life. He has saved me and Alexia from having to deal with your odd ways as well. His plan was to protect us from you!!! He has a plan and a purpose for everything! I am so at peace with that and I am so at peace with the fact that you are in prison to protect us from you!!!! Many people have said that to me! Thank you God for saving our lives and protecting us from the enemy and his evil ways.

Your purpose in life is to be in prison. You need to come to peace with that. Maybe you can do something good in prison and to serve the Lord in prison. Your life has nothing to do with us!!!! I gave birth to my child. She is like she is adopted. You are not her dad or even a father. You were like a sperm donor. Leave it at that. Stop thinking you will ever have a relationship with my beautiful child. You wrecked any relationship you could have ever had by committing a felony that you will never admit to or ask for forgiveness for or have remorse for!

Quit quoting the bible!!! I can read the bible myself. Just because you try to quote the scriptures does not make you a christian. Even if your family are great people you did not turn out well for whatever reason.

God has saved my life for sure!!! I am so blessed to have a beautiful life! I praise God for that. I have to praise God for the fact that you are not in my life. He has saved me and Alexia from having to deal with your odd ways as well. His plan was to protect us from you!!! He has a plan and a purpose for everything! I am so at peace with that and I am so at peace with the fact that you are in prison to protect us from you!!!! Many people have said that to me! Thank you God for saving our lives and protecting us from the enemy and his evil ways.

Your purpose in life is to be in prison. You need to come to peace with that. Maybe you can do something good in prison and to serve the Lord in prison. Your life has nothing to do with us!!!! I gave birth to my child. She is like she is adopted. You are not her dad or even a father. You were like a sperm donor. Leave it at that. Stop thinking you will ever have a relationship with my beautiful child. You wrecked any relationship you could have ever had by committing a felony that you will never admit to or ask for forgiveness for or have remorse for!

Quit quoting the bible!!! I can read the bible myself. Just because you try to quote the scriptures does not make you a christian. Even if your family are great people you did not turn out well for whatever reason.

You could send me information about Alexia's other biological relatives through a safe and neutral third party.... a social worker from the county. Please let me know if you are really willing to do that. I will not give you my information as I do not feel it is safe and do not want to be your contact with the outside world or get any other mail from you.... God is protecting me once again!!! I only want a way to contact Alexia's other biological family as she has asked about that once and I will do anything that is good and beneficial for her..... which is not having contact with you and a prison life. Sorry. Sue

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