10/21/11
Not Just Another Comment

Another restless night... I just copied a song and poem out of my book to put on my blog site. Then I got to thinking about the comment I received from Lord Dennis Fountain: I felt prompted to put these thoughts on the screen.

I was utterly amazed to read the words left on my blog because I had just wrote and mailed something similar off. The things is the person who wrote the comment has known me since I was 22 years old.

I met Dennis shortly after moving to Temple. I won't give all my history, but long story short, I had relapsed and Dennis offered an alternative. I built a small enterprise, but you can't keep what you gain illegally.

For Dennis to leave the comment he did, it's because he knew up close and personal the old me. He knew all that was ugly, all that was dirty; and to be quite frank, the me who didn't give a fuck. I was about paper. Money, baby! I was in love with the game and was cold-blooded with it.

He has corresponded with me from time to time since my incarceration. My first letter in over 16 months came last week. I was surprised by how upset he was, but it's to be understood.

After knowing someone ten years, you get a feel for what hurts them. If you've seen someone change over the course of ten years for the better, you develop a desire to see them reach their full potential. More than likely, you get pissed off when someone hurts them or tries to tell them they aren't changing. I think that's the case here.

Dennis, thank you for your words of encouragement. I know that life in general will never be easy. More so, I know that when it comes to the heart within me has struggled to love and be loved. Yet I know I've changed. I'll never let anyone tell me I haven't. Not knowing the me I used to be and the me I am today. I'd be straight stupid to believe I'm not a better person now.

Thanks, Dennis!

I guess people never understand where a person has come from unless they walked part of it with them. I got peace from this: my mommy looks upon me every day and sees her daughter becoming the woman of God she's destined to be. No man has ever defined me. That won't start now. I'll walk this walk in faith.

Sometimes we need other people to remind us of how far we've come. Sometimes we need to remind ourselves.

Have a wonderful day!

P.S. James, I still love ya.