Nov. 9, 2011

How I Got Here

From Prisoners Praise by Frances Nichole Whitlock (author's profile)


How I Got Here
10:10 pm

I don't often talk about why I'm sitting in prison because I'm not particularly fond of the choices I have made to earn the TDC#1508324. Thought I'm not ashamed of my past, I am remorseful for my crime. I think that's the key to forgiving oneself for the choices one makes: remorse. Accepting responsibility is another component to self-forgiveness.

I could point the finger and try to place blame on my childhood, my addictions, my friends, and my co-defendants, but when it all comes down to it I am responsible for the choices I made. I done something that I knew was morally wrong. I tampered with physical evidence in a capital murder and everyday I wish I could undo what I did.

Though I couldn't prevent a murder, I could have prevented the events that happened after I found the body. I could've chose differently, but I didn't. Out of fear or out of loyalty to people who were like family to me I made the choice to get rid of the body, clothes, etc. Every day since then I've lived with the remorse of my crime.

That I've got to be wise as a serpent, but harmless as a dove. I've got to have my spiritual radar on as well as the armor of God. I also know I've got to make sound choices.

How I got here was by poor choices. How I stay out of here by making wise choices. Anyone who knows me knows I've got a good head on my shoulders. I just got to use it.

Now that I've seen parole and I'm waiting for my answer I'm no longer anxious. I'm pretty calm considering. But more than anything I've grown determined not to do the things that I done before to get Me here.

I got me here...God'll get me out!


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