I believe people can change. I believe people do change. I believe some people will say anything to make others think they have changed.

I was a bad kid. Took what I want, and consequences be damned. I always had some buffer in me however to not actually physically hurt people. I've never really been sure where that reserve came from, maybe it's a genetic or compassionate part of my brain that those who are broken cannot understand. I have a wife, kids, a couple of homes, a flourishing business and while the past still sneaks up on me in the form of bad days, I still function in society.

You did not seem to have this. Since high school, and your time in juvie, your actions have been founded in violence and an utter disregard for others feelings. Stabbing a guard with a pencil is a good indicator of how things are going to turn out. Biting a guard during a trial where you are currently attempting to paint yourself as the victim is a further indication. Broken. Some broken things are fixable, and may still have value if fixed. Some broken things can never be fixed.

One point you go back to is that Mr. Updegrave started the fight. I can believe that, as he could be an ass. Physical violence however was not his way. It's well known that you attacked your victim in the kitchen, drug him from there, through three rooms and into the bathroom.

Since you dismembered the body, and even went so far as to go to your estranged girlfriends house to borrow a saw to finish the job (this is the home you were kicked out of, and the reason you lived with ron), you did. Ore than "take a life"". Let's add to that disposing parts of his corpse throughout Bucks County, stealing his car and trying to sell his things.

I do not forgive you. While I can only offer the best hopes that you continue to try and find ways to live with what you have done, there is no scenario in which your crimes should be forgiven. For a reference a religious man will understand, try Matthew 5:38 and leviticus 24:20.

If your attempt to become a better person were done altruistically, and not in a situation where honestly it is only one of two choices, then I and others like me might think... This man has a redeemable value. I think we both know however that were the opportunity given for you to be back on the streets, nothing less than a continuation of your past activities would be the result.

As one of the people that your actions affected, I will never forgive you. Not Just the murder that finally got you put away, but your actions prior to that. You owe a debt to society that really cannot be repaid. Society continues to support you, but has chosen to exclude you from the rest of us. It's sad in a way, necessary, but sad.

Sorry for multiple posts, there is a 3000 character limit.

Regarding. Your daughter, consider this: everything you post regarding the child is now permanently available. A curious person with minimal computer skills can find one heck of a history about her if they desire.

On an earlier blog, one of your responders stated "I don't like to use my name on the internet". That is a smart action. It's too easy to track anything and everything down, based on minimal information. Her name is there however, along with where she lives, has lived, and from there it's easy to figure out where she works.

My point is, that by putting so much information out there about your daughter, her age... Where she is... Her date of birth, mothers maiden name... You are setting her up the base for a pretty extensive profile on her that will always follow wherever she goes.

People are curious (nosy?) by nature. Employers frequently use search engines and Boolean tools to get a full picture of an individual. By pitting all that information out there, you are linking your daughter to posts which paint the poor kid in a less than favorable light.

Basically, your actions... Which are painted in an altruistic light, but are in reality all about making yourself feel better will perpetuate the pain this kid feels anytime someone decides to do a search in her name in the future.

You are not helping anyone by begging for someone to help her, you are harming her future by posting this information for the world to see.

For myself, I try to limit anything I post about the wife or my kids. There are too many opportunities in this ever connected world for harm to be done from the most innocuous of,postings.