#1 Appearance

In the category of appearance there's about a 60% chance that a guy is NOT going to like his new name. This is because the name is usually in reference to something unfortunate about the way he looks. And since this feature has now become his name, he's going to get reminded of it EVERY time somebody calls him, whew! Talk about rubbing it in.

I guess one of the first things noticeable about guys appearance would be his height. Therefore, if he's so short that he had to stand on a stepladder to get his mug shot taken, he'll more than likely end up with a nickname like "Squirrel" or "Mouse" or "Peewee". If he's a big dopey looking guy with some out of proportion figure, then he has the chance of getting a nickname like "Butterball" or "Ice House" (in reference to the beer bottle). If his body is in somewhat normal shape, but his head happens to be noticeably large, then guess what he'll be called. "Head". I know, I know, it doesn't have much originality, but it's certainly easy to remember. A speech impairment can get a guy a nickname like "Elmer Fudd" and a deformed arm can get him a name such as "Chicken Wing".

The main issue in regards to this matter brings about an interesting question.

If a guy doesn't like the name, then why does he answer when somebody calls him that?

I remember back a few years ago when some guy started calling me by some kind of an undesireable nickname (sorry, but my memory fails me as to what it was), but considering the fact that I didn't like it and had already been given a nickname that I did like, I just simply never looked in his direction when he or anybody else addressed me by that other name and withing a few days I was no longer having to hear it. That seems simple enough. I had tried to convince Butterball to do the same thing, but he never seemed to take my advice on the matter.

The other 40% of the guys are lucky enough to be given a nickname they actually like. For instance, I've met a young guy who is just an overall large proportioned kid and he doesn't mind the nickname "Big Jit". I just wonder how he'll like it when he's 30 years old. Or, the guy I knew in the county jail who had a mean look about him and his eyebrows were arched just right. His nickname "Hawk" is really nothing to be ashamed of. Now there might be some controversy as to whether this next nickname could be insulting in some kind of way. But the 6'4", large structured, box shaped guy, that resembles Frankenstein, seem to have no problem being called "Lurch" (from the show The Addams Family). I know if I was in his shoes (I'd be holding my nose. Ha Ha) I would have no problem with the name. The nickname "GQ" could, at first,be mistaken as a category $ reason (the guys initials). But when we take a second to think and remember the magazine "GQ", then that puts us back to category 1 (appearance). Now I'm quite sure that guy has no problem being reminded, every time someone calles hi, that he looks like some men's fashion model. My last example is an older gentleman who has four colored stones fixed to his four front, top teeth. I'm not sure as to how he had it done or even why. I guess back in the day to him, it must have looked really....What's the word I'm looking for? Oh yea, GROOVY. At any rate, the nickname "Jewel" seem to fit him like a glove (or should I say cap).

So now we've finished with the first 32% of the 40 nicknames. To read about the next 25% i categor 2 and later read about nicknames that are given to officers, keep visiting my blog.

Hope you enjoyed everything so far.

Maze