God's Sense of Humor
10/22/11

All hell is breaking loose in my life, and what does God do? The unthinkable... He sends me to Waco for the first part of parole. Get this: on Monday, they called Danny (the friend of the family) who's been faithful to visiting and writing since I got locked up. They proceeded to ask him if I can still parole to him what I'm required to parole—and all that jazz. He told them I was under the impression I was going to Uncle Harold's. The lady said, "Umm, no. Change of plans."

Okay, God! So, God has been listening to my thoughts to act out in my hurt. So He does something different.

I'm nervous about the whole return to Waco thing. I'll have to be good, real good. I'm at least in some ways able to take care of business there because I go the lay of the land. I'm in a convenient location to a lot of things. Except college. But I'm still going to get a few things straightened out and maybe this is a good way for me to be there for my son.

Always believe that God will work things together for our good. We never have to be in fear of the changes God brings in our lives. I've got to go do a change of address for my friends and family—who have my Dallas address. It's just on hold. I'll get there... eventually.

For now, I'll adapt to the hand dealt to me. I play my cards and believe that God being God is able to do for me what I can't. That means I survive my broken heart. When it can, I'll visit my people in Dallas: my brother, sponser, uncle, and CB. For now, I'm rolling to Waco.

At least for the moment, I'm closest to the people who love me and will help support me through the ups and downs. People who know not to try to test me on the gangsta in me. People who want the best for me. Some may have to come from [illegible] to see me, but that's okay! Double D never minded as long as I'm being real.

Strangely, it's like I turned over a whole new leaf this morning. James wasn't the first person to come to mind. Every day it gets easier to let go. Well, that's the point, right? Every broken heart mends.

Crazy. I went to bed so upset and angry, and I woke up at peace. Moving beyond the crucial things to deal with the immediate I can't use! I can't drink! I can't do stupid! I don't do drama or foolishness because that's too much like who I used to be. So I'll do this—I'll do what I feel God is calling me to do.

Bubble bath Monday!

I am going to be in touch with my blog site and try to get everything up this Friday.

Much ♥+