Reply ID: kp9i
May 17, 2016
1:55 PM
Listening to "Staring At The World Thru My Rearview" by 2Pac

Dear Anne,
Hi, I just got your comments last night. Thank you.

Well, by writing the word "Mum", I am assuming you are not from the USA. Even though I have met people who use "Mum" instead of Mom. Where are you from? By the way, thank you for looking up the group We Are Fallen for me. It's safe to say they only have that one album.

Anyway, I had a wonderful time with my mom. It was only for one hour and 50 minutes, but it was the best almost two hours that I have had in many years. Killed me inside to see her though. She's not the mom I remember, so it really hurt. The mom I remember was very strong, very energetic. She was an auto mechanic for many years. She was also a nurse's aide and a LPN. She got up early and went to bed late every day.

Now, she is 29 years older than her age of 59. Her hair is thinning. She is very skinny. Her arms are purple from the forearms down to her hands. Seeing her with an oxygen tank on, taking a few steps and being out of breath—seeing my mom dying for the first time, all I wanted to do was cry, hold her, hug her, and cry.

But I kept a smile on my face and did my best to make her smile. Laugh and forget that we don't know how much time she has left. I wouldn't trade my mom for my freedom. She has done everything for me, and a mother's love is so beautiful, so special, so different from loving anyone else. I wouldn't trade it for anything.

I'm gonna let my hair grow for her. Just for about two weeks, so it's maybe a quarter of an inch long. When I was little, she would cut my hair that short, rub my head, and call it a teddy head. Said it felt just like a teddy bear. When I was out of control, I would go sit in her lap (as a kid) and sing to her my boredom song. What can a little kid do? She would always occupy me.

I don't know how I went wrong. I wasn't a bad kid. I was just super hyper active and always bored. I loved new experiences and I was always so very curious. But hopefully I get to see my mom again on May 29th.

I am desperately seeking a job in here. We get paid virtually nothing in here. It is almost impossible to survive on your prison job pay. The average person needs about $80-$100 a month to survive. You get paid less than 20 cents a month to work. It gets pretty hard in here.

So, I was interviewed today for a job working for the Catholic chaplain. Her name is Sister Mary (a nun) who is 80 years old. She is so very passionate about her job and love for God. I have a glowing recommendation from the chaplain's department at my past two prisons, so I hope I get it. She wants me to work on the path I am on now. Without the church, I wouldn't be proud of myself, so I will not abandon the church. I really hope I get the job. In prison, the worst thing to do is to sit around here doing nothing, rotting away and waiting to die.

If you, Anne, or anyone else could help me find an address—I am trying to get a mailing address for a lawyer who is always a guest on a show called The View. Her name is Sunny Hostin. I believe she is a New York attorney, but not 100% on that.

Well, I have to get going. Take care. I look forward to hearing from you again. God bless. Ciao.