reply ID: qe4x

To: Ajj13
How's it going Alyssa? I'm more than happy to answer your questions.
1. What are the ways that some men deal with missing women in prison?
There are numerous ways we deal with missing women. Actually, there has to be. We look at home photos, correspond, utilize phone privileges, ask women to perfume their letters to us, order magazines that feature mostly women, order photos of women who might be barely clothed (pornography isn't allowed), some may masturbate, a few may turn to homosexuality and even less will rape.
2. Do you think men change not being around women? If so in what ways?
We absolutely do! I for one, have found a whole new level of respect for women that can not be taught unless placed in a similar situation. Seeing how disgusting some of these guys live as a result of improper upbringing and knowing that most of them could never survive the prison atmosphere in another state has caused me to look into why. The answer has made me so grateful to the women in my family who made me make my bed, clean my room, look after my siblings, wash the dishes, bathe, and so much more. I have never whipped my children and came to that conclusion as I was getting one as a child. But it was my daughter who taught me that even the little pop I gave her on her pamper to show her my disapproval of something she was doing was too much (at least to me). The cry and look of disappointment in me cut by heart in half for her. The tap was actually more to get her attention. But I never went that far, well that's far for me, again. In fact, it was her imitation of me that made me realize that I had changed my way of getting my children's attention. Being the big sister, she saw her younger brother misbehaving. So she did what she saw me do. She clapped her hand, stomped her foot and said his name all at the same time. I've found that that was all they usually needed to stop errant behavior. I believe that not being able to intermingle with women tends to retard our growth in maturation. We just don't act our ages. It's hard for me to imagine myself dressing casually without wearing sneakers thought I'm 53. I still remember how weird my looked when he put on a pair of sneakers at this age. Not being around women much has changed the way I tend to speak to people.
For example, I tend to sound angry, or angrier no matter who I'm talking to though it's not my intention to. I guess not much good can come from being separated from women.
3. How do you think this affects then when they are released?
I believe it depends on the person and their experience. Do they recognize their issues? How willing are they to change? How receptive are they to constructive criticism? For guys like me it wouldn't be too difficult because I make it a point to learn from everyone I come in contact with. I have no problem with separating and walking to the beat of my own drum. I prefer to get along with others than to make others get along with me. This attitude has kept me out of many fights. I refuse to join gangs, clicks and all of that. However, there are many prisons in other states where that is not an option.
4. Do you think men become more reserved or don't know how to deal with a woman's "touch" when released? ;)
If they don't know how to deal with a woman's "touch" when released it's because they never knew how to. Some guys would be more reserved but I think that it's because of the rules regarding the strict prohibition on touching staff at all. The consequences are severe. But on the whole, this is something that should be eased into. For instance, at this point I'm not used to sleeping with anyone, so movement on the bed while I'm asleep would startle the hell stars out of me. On the other hand, any touch by a woman would make me want to give her heaven if it were possible.
Being around some of these guys for so long, I'm sure that some of them would be painfully aggressive. I'm so glad that I was taught patience. ;)
Keep in mind that these responses are by no means exhaustive. So feel free to send follow-up questions if you'd like. I'm very glad you reached out. Be well,
Rich.