Personal Journal

5/1/18

Okay, time to move on. There's nothing on the road before me so I need to stop following it. Can't go back. I know, I've tried more than once. I guess I'll go left or right. Makes no difference. They both end up in the same place. Alone in a cell, some place, wishing I could take it all back.

But maybe I'll have some fun along the way, buy or paint me a 12 foot sailboat, find an air conditioner bar to hang out in, dance a little, play a little pool. Maybe get in a good fight, get knocked down, knock some down, fall down. I've been down a thousand times, I've learned to get back up the hard way. It ain't pretty, but I've been there. It would help if I had some help on the sailboat, someone to drink with, someone to dance with, someone to help me up, someone to dream with. But what the hell, you can't have everything.

Like I tell the kid each day when the mail man goes speeding by, "Maybe tomorrow." It's bad when you lose hope in these places. You cannot be happy unless you believe in something or someone.

Little Jimmy go his head busted open just above his left eye, about a half inch cut. Playing soccer. He was right back out there, playing basketball or something in the afternoon. Good kid. I hate teens. They can fall off a building and climb right back to the top. :)

5/2/18
Awakening to reality this morning. The end. Breathe in, breathe out. Consequences for actions are inevitable. Both good and bad = Karma. "You are my heart/ you are my soul/ you are my breath when I grow old/ you are my lover/ my friend as I grow old" I love that song. :)

I have an ongoing flow of ideas, thoughts, emotions, goals, achievements, faults, regrets, and resentment performing the balancing out of prison life. Balancing my mind is a job in itself.

I need to find someone who is interested in setting up a site to sell artwork on the Internet or on Ebay. Not just mine, but other artists too. There are a lot of us in prison. :)

5/3/18
The days are growing longer as summer nears. Spring is here now with some beautiful warm days. I'm hoping for some May showers to walk in, to get lost in, to keep the temps down.

Nothing going on here. The moon coming up, the moon coming down, and not every night. It must be lonely up there in the sky. At least the moon has a place to hide, a place to cry while I just watch out the windows and which I could fly. I would fly away so high up in that blue sky. There must be some place I could hide. It's not as if anyone would miss me. I'm not sure these people even count me. They never call my name.

Sometimes, no matter how hard you try, things just don't work out. At least I tried. If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around, does the tree cry out? If I write something and post it on my blog, and no one ever messages back, did anyone read it? Or did I even send it? Did I even write anything down? Hello, is anyone out there?